There's a quote that says: One day you would meet someone with whom your heart becomes immediately bound, yet the saddest part of this is that this person is not always the one we end up with.
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What is it like to love you?
A story I thought i'd never tell.
So let me give you some insight as I put it all in a nutshell.
Every morning I wake up to a bed in which I am all alone,
Yet the very first thing I do when I wake is run towards my phone.
There I would see your messages from the night before,
All the loving words you sent that make me want you even more.
Then I would turn to my mirror and see myself staring back,
The smile that once graced my face would soon become something I lack.
Reality would hit then and this is when the truth would sink in so deep,
That though my heart may beat for you, you would always be the one I cannot keep.
I would then proceed to criticize and argue with my heart,
Why did you have to be so stupid?
Why did I let you tear me apart?
As my day goes on you would message me and tell me all the things I long to hear,
You would let me in to your life,
And I would let you know how much I wished you could be near.
You would tell me about your family and all the wonders you have planned,
I would sit and laugh and listen like the idiot in love I am.
Throughout the day you would remind me that you truly do care,
Yet why when you tell me you love me, my face soon becomes drenched with tears.
Why did I have to fall for you?
Why did I let you break down my walls?
Why was I so careless in thinking that from grace I would not fall?
I remember foolishly thinking that I could simply just be a friend,
That I could love you from a distance and not hurt myself in the end.
That I could smile though those moments that tore my heart from the inside,
That I could laugh with you during your happy times, while my soul slowly died.
Now each morning I wake and I look at my phone and I wonder why do I do these things?
Why can't I let go of you?
Why can't I spread my own wings?
Everyday I feel it growing, I know i'm slowly moving away,
Even though it pains me to do it,
If I'm ever to truly be happy, then this is the only way.
I do not know what the future holds, but God knows how I truly wish,
Maybe a moment in time where we could both enjoy loves bliss.
But until that time I can't keep living with this pain everyday,
I love you to my core and back, but even with that love, I can not stay.