Prose written by Demonic on Monday 8, August 2016

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Because the emptiness is back...

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Most of the time, I'm happy, and I walk around the town with a grin the size of Cheshire Cat's. I say "hello," to the people around me, I wave to the people I know and have fun at work. I laugh with my sister and I pig out while watching our favourite shows on Netflix. I joke with my friends and enjoy my time outside in the sun. My music blares in my ears and I silently sing along to old songs I used to belt out in my bedroom. Sometimes I'm sad. I cry when no one is watching, and wipe my tears on the closest thing I can grab; from a tissue to my shirt. I walk around town with my head tucked into my chest. I avoid people and try my best to put on a brave face at work. I smile when necessary, but it's nothing but a mask; an illusion. I bury myself in books and keep myself away from anything emotional. If I cry, at least I have a book to blame it on. Sometimes I'm empty. I feel like something is missing; someone is missing. I keep thinking that I will see you walk passed my bedroom door. That I'll turn the corner and you'll be there watching TV. I keep imagining that you being gone is just a dream; that it's not really this quiet... But it is. And I have been empty for 295 days. I keep thinking that I will wake up and not feel the concave in my chest that has slowly been growing. I thought time was supposed to heal everything; when in reality, it just makes it easier to breathe. So, another night passes by, and tears have, once again, stained the lenses of my glasses. I try to sleep with the images of the moments we shared together. I try to sleep while my heart, mind and soul misses you.

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    Alright, so I really enjoyed your work. It's obvious you put some real emotion into this, and it transfers well. However, I was somewhat surprised when the character 'you' (dont know how better to say it sorry xD) was introduced rather late in the story? I feel maybe that should be a bit earlier. But on the whole, I loved your colloquial imagery, and how your style ranged from down-to-earth to downright poetic to suit the emotion you were expressing. Well done! ^3^
    Well done. It's filled with emotion and is very expressive. I also like the slightly repetitive structure... "Most of the time... sometimes", "walk around town" etc.

    I wouldn't have thought it on my own, but after reading Jay's comments, I agree... introducing the 'you' character earlier would be nice... perhaps something about sharing happiness and sharing sadness together?

    Well done
    You need to do some minor editing here.

    Other than that, an interesting observation. Time does not heal all wounds, it only blunts the pain.