Chapter8—How Friar Tuck Tried To Become A Man Of God And How It Didn’

Fable written by Don Roble on Sunday 24, July 2016

Member Avatar
Friar Tuck

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Father Robert said to the others,“I know ‛e can’t be drunk but let’s watch ‛im.” Father Robert knew immediately he had made a mistake. Everyone looked at him. That didn’t matter too much. The Bishop looked at him and that mattered a lot. “Father, what would we be watching for? If ‛e can’t be drunk then what is left?”, the Bishop asked. “Umm, well, it could be ‛e’s caught up in the spirit of the Lord. Not merely feeling it but really, truly caught up in it.” “We can’t ‛ave that. People like that are trouble. Priests like that are big trouble. Father Robert, find out what it is so we can take action. If ‛e’s just drunk we can ordain ‛im, send ‛im off to someplace remote and be done with ‛im. If it’s the other we need to take drastic action. See to it.” The next afternoon Tuck was sitting under the tree drinking wine and feeling a small buzz. He looked at the vineyard to see father Robert all scrunched up and peeking around a row of grapevines. After a moment, Father Robert would scoot to the next row and do the same thing. Tuck thought it was pretty strange behavior. Father Robert didn’t seem to be crazy and he was a little old to be playing hide’n'seek. If he was playing hide’n'seek he was playing by himself. That would lead you to believe he was crazy. Tuck put the plug back into the cask, drank the last wine from his cup, placed the cask back into the creek and went to investigate. Tuck sneaked to the other end of the rows of grapevines. After few minutes, he saw Father Robert peek around the end of the row. Tuck quickly jumped back He waited a few seconds and jumped to the end of the next row. He got down and peeked around the corner to see Father Robert. Things went on until they got to the last row. Tuck couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was going on. He decided to grab the bull by the horns. “Father Robert, olly-olly-in-free!” Father Robert heard that and ran towards the seminary. That was strange behavior as far as Tuck was concerned. Truth be told, he wasn’t concerned; he should have been. He was taken from Vespers to see the Bishop. He was thinking he might get ordained and out of this place. He was taken to the Bishop’s room. As the door closed behind him he saw the Bishop sitting on a dais with two of the elder priest's to either side and Father Robert sitting along the wall. He didn’t see a chair for him. “Tuck, this is an inquiry into your behavior of late. Father Robert has reported some odd things. Why are ye behaving in such a manner?’, the Bishop asked. Tuck was taken aback a little. What strange behavior? “What strange behavior? If anyone has been acting strange it’s Father Robert. Today he was playing hide’n’seek all alone. Now that-” “See here, we aren’t talking about Father Robert’s behavior. We want to know about your behavior. Are ye somehow drinking? Are ye caught up in the Spirit of the Lord? We need to understand to ‛elp ye?” “ I don’t need ‛elp. I need ordained and sent to a parish. I know it all. I know the Mass and all the Latin prayers and-” “Yes, yes, I am aware of that. Seems strange ye knowing all that before getting ‛ere. I’ve decided to send thee to a monastery where ye can reflect and get ‛elp.” “What? I’m not going to become a monk. I’ll go ‛ome first.” “No, ye shall go to the monastery. Ye name and description will be sent out if ye do not. It’s a monastery or a dungeon. I have to protect the Church from the likes of ye.” So Tuck went off to the monastery. It wasn’t going to work out well. Tuck spotted Rob at the edge of the glen and decided now was as good a time as any to talk to him, priest to outlaw. Rob spotted Friar Tuck headed his way but couldn’t get away before Tuck called out to him. He didn’t know what might happen if he just walked away from the fat fraud. He knew Tuck wasn’t a priest yet the Merrymen seem to accept him as if he were. Something bad might happen if he scooted away. He knew he could outrun the Man but he couldn’t hide from him. “Well, ‛ello, Fr air Tuck.” “Good morning, my son.” Oh crap, he was going to do the priest thing on him. Rob didn’t intend to confess anything no matter what the men here thought of Tuck. Rob wasn’t the best Christian but he knew a fake priest couldn’t send him to Hell. “I'm not confessing anything, Tuck. I’m not going to call you Father Tuck either. Ye are not a priest no matter how the men ‛ere say.” “My son, I don’t want to ‛ear your confession. I want to save ye soul from ‛ell.” It was worse than Rob expected. Saving his soul was going to be a pain in the ass. Tuck is a priest but not actually; this is a camp of outlaws; every man here is usually drunk and usually wenching; every man here is one mistake from a hangman’s rope and this guy wants to save my soul. “Tuck, go save someone else’s soul. I don’t want my soul saved. I want to eat, drink, wench and die a ‛appy man. Ye should worry about ye own soul. That’s what ye should be doing. Ye should be doing anything but talking to me. Ye are not a priest and even if ye were I would lie to ye. I lied to my village priest and he was almost on the level.” “My son, ye seem to be a troubled young lad. Ye might ease your worries by coming to Mass on Sunday.” “That’s it? Ye want me to come to Mass? I don’t ‛ave to confess or anything?” “Don’t be silly.” “ ‛ow would that save my soul?” “Well, I’m a firm believer in luck.” “Is this on the level?” “My son, would I lie to ye?” Father Robert was escorting Tuck to the monastery. It wasn’t to make sue he went there since he had no real choice. He would be declared an outlaw if he didn’t. Any sheriff catching him could hang him and charge the Church. Father Robert was along as punishment for not catching Tuck earlier. That no one else had caught him was beside the point. “What’s the name of this monastery we’re going to?”, Tuck asked. “Does it matter. Ye will be going there whether ye know the name or not”, Father Robert said. “Oh, that;s ‛ow it gong to be is it? Okay, ye are right. I will be going there whether ye are with me or not. That’s correct as well. Is it not?” “Yes.” “Then why are ye with me? I can find the place myself.” “To make sure ye get there. If ye don’t go I am to take a letter to the nearest sheriff. ‛e would ‛unt ye down and either ‛old ye for the Church or ‛ang ye. Depends on ‛ow ‛e feels.” “Ye ‛ave a letter? Ye are a right bastard for turning me in, ye know that? Mayhaps I will take that letter. If ye never get back I would be free to go as I like.” Tuck told him this very casually. Father Robert didn’t take it casually. He began to worry. Tuck was far bigger than he. Tusk’s ass was on the line here. “Rest easy, Father Robert. I will not ‛arm ye. Now, what’s the name of the monastery and tell me a bit about it. I’m the one going there and not leaving.” “Okay, I guess I owe ye that much seeing I got ye in ‛ot water. The monastery is named SS Peter, Paul and Mary. It was started by a baron who went insane. The Church took over ‛is estate for the King and set up a monastery. They took care of the old baron in return.” “So, it’s not that old?”,Tuck asked. “Oh, mayhaps a ‛undred years old or there about.” “That must be one old man by now.” “Don’t be a simpleton. ‛e’s been long dead. The Church never told the King that and don’t plan to.”

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.


    lol A man of the cloth. What type of cloth, we won't say!

    Robert all csrunched up and peeking around - scrunched
    Where can I read more of the Friar Tuck story?
    This one chapter of The Rob Saga book I wrote. He's not the main character but is around a lot.