Mommy

Poem written by Demonic on Sunday 10, April 2016

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Description
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Overall Rating: 72.8%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 72.8% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:78%
Imagery:60%
Spelling & Grammar:75%
Flow/Rhythm:91%
Vocabulary:60%
I miss you There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you About that day About the night that followed I always believed that I was to blame If I had worried more If I had made you go sooner If I hadn't gone back to bed, would you still be here? And now, I live with regret every single day I should have visited more Why didn't I visit more? I guess... I just couldn't see you like that... I hope I'm making you proud I hope that I can keep it together without you. I miss you, Mom
   

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Comments

    #1

    RouthRouth

    This one tugs at my heart. I rarely am able to see my mother due to distance and expense. One day this will be my sentiment.

    You need to capitalise the third and fourth lines to match the rest of the work.
    Commented 11/04/2016 13:07
    #2

    DemonicDemonic

    Thanks for pointing out that error. Smile
    Commented 11/04/2016 19:27
    #3

    Don RobleDon Roble

    I always wish I had taken more time when it was there. Well done.
    Commented 13/04/2016 16:01
    #4

    pirate60pirate60

    This hit home with me also as I lost my mom years before she past away to Dementia. Nice work.
    Commented 13/04/2016 19:53
    #5

    kt6550kt6550

    Very sad. Well written.
    Commented 15/04/2016 21:35