Lonely

Poem written by MzRainbow on Tuesday 22, December %10

Member Avatar
Description
just a peom

Overall Rating: Not Rated

This writing has not yet been rated and therefore this information is not yet available.
Do you see her face, the lonely with after taste of sorrow, Do you see how she looks at you? All she wanted was the truth. Could you? Would you spare her the agony given the chance? All she wanted was to be accepted. All she needed was your love. You see right through her sleepless nights. Cold hearts awaken from the tears when she cries. If you knew then what you know now, would you have stopped her? But why all these lonely nights of confusion and sorrow. Lifeless love, giftless minds, and soul-less eyes. She waits for someone to call her name from the dark. For the dimmer light to appear, in front of her darker eyes. If angels were real wouldn't they save her? So many unanswered questions. So many ungranted wishes, So many empty tears. With lifeless years. You wonder how someone could be so happy yet so tormented. All the past mistakes, all the past ghosts wandering in her mind. Without meaning there is no life, without life there is no meaning. How could we be so blind to her feelings.
   

Rate This Submission

Please take the time to rate this writing once you have read it. Our ratings system allows people to know both how popular the writing is, and how well the general populous of the site thinks it is written. This also allows the writer to have feedback about their writing, so they know if they need to improve their technique, or if they're on the right track.

The system allows you to vote on several aspects on the writing. Refer to the help text below each aspect for an explanation. Consider the different aspects carefully, and submit your vote using this form. It will be instantly weighted with the other votes given.

Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought?
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it?
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentences or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant?
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have used?

3 comments

Leave a Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.
  • pirate60
    A very good and well written poem Megz. Well presented and thought provoking.
    - December 22 2015 13:30:46
    • Don Roble
      Very well done.
      This part confuses me- Do you see her face, the lonely with after taste of sorrow, the" with after taste of sorrow" doesn't make sense to me.
      - December 23 2015 13:29:38
      • kt6550
        Very, very good.

        One little thing. I would end the last line with a question mark. But that is just me.
        - December 23 2015 23:38:09