Rocci's Big Problem

Story written by pirate60 on Tuesday 12, May 2015

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A Jack Vine short story

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Rocci"s Big Problem [Ring-Ring, Ring-Ring] I awoke from a sound sleep, with Mary snuggled up next to me. I looked over to the nightstand on my side of the bed and the phone that was ringing off the hook. Just to the side was our illuminated alarm clock; it showed 2:15 AM. Not a good thing in my book. Last time this happened, Dorothy had her run in with some flying chimps. I reached over to the phone; "Hello," I mumbled groggily. "Jack! Is that you?" I heard a familiar voice; it was Rocci. "Of course it is Rocci," I replied, who else would it be at two in the morning?" He went quiet and I wondered if his call had been disconnected. "You still there buddy?" I asked. "Yeah," He replied sheepishly. "Sorry about the time but I kind of have a problem." It was the way he said the word "˜problem", that got my attention. I slid my arm out from under Mary"s soft body and sat up. "What"s wrong?" I asked, figuring the worst. ""Well, you remember that Hazel is a witch, right?" he stated evasively. "Vaguely." I replied, not liking the direction this conversation was heading. "And you remember that she wasn"t very good at it?" he hesitated even more. "I seem to recall that." ""Well, she was sort of practicing her spell casting and it didn"t work quite the way it was suppose to." "Rocci," I said, wanting to get to the bad part, "what exactly was Hazel trying to do?" "She was trying to duplicate a cake she had made," he explained further. Hmm, that didn"t sound that Earth shaking to me. "So," I said, "what"s the big deal? She flubbed up baking a cake. Mary can"t even boil water without messing it up. I think you can handle a bunt cake." "I didn"t say she was baking another cake," he said meekly. "I said she was duplicating the one she had baked, as in with a spell." Uh Oh! I said ominously. This was defiantly not going to be a good day. "What happened?" I finally asked dreading what the answer would likely be. I noted that my stomach was starting to feel queasy . "Well," Rocci continued, taking a slight detour, "you remember how I once said I wondered if it would be Polygamy if I was to marry Hazel and Sasha?" "I remember." Yup, the stomach was definitely churning. I believe my lawyer said they were still considered one person in the eyes of the law. "Yeah, well now there are two of them. "What!" I exclaimed stirring Mary. I got a hold of myself, stood up and went out into the living room. "Say that again." I asked. Did I really hear him right; or was I still dreaming and having one hell of a nightmare? The later would be better although my gut says "˜not a chance". "Give me all the details Rocci." I could hear him take a deep breath before going on. "It went like this Jack. Hazel and Sasha were down in cellar, see. Hazel was practicing her spell casting and Sasha was trying to help her. "Keep going sport," I encouraged. "Well they weren"t down there for very long when I heard a loud boom and smoke coming out from under the door. I freaked out thinking the worst and ran down to see if I could help." He stopped, unable or unwilling to go on. ";AND!" I prodded knowing this was when the house of cards falls apart. "Like I said Jack," he said, thinking it was already obvious, "she was trying to duplicate that cake." He blinked, and took another breath. "She missed." The cards have fallen. "What;did;she;hit?" "Herself." It got quiet on both ends of the phone. How long I wasn"t sure. Surly, this has to be a major nightmare, I was thinking. No, I was hoping. "You still there, Jack?" Rocci said. I shook my head trying to clear it. "Let me get this straight. Hazel duplicated herself? As in there are now two Hazels?" "And two Sasha"s," he added; again a moment of silence. How could this possibly get worse I thought? "You"re telling me that Hazel duplicated herself and now there are two of them? I said. "Sasha is no longer inside of Hazel but in the body of a duplicate Hazel. Is that what you"re telling me? There are two Hazels. "Four." He answered. "FOUR!" I yelled, realizing it just got worse. My head was pounding now. "Yeah Jack," he whispered, "Two Hazel"s and two Sasha"s. And Jack," he went on, "Sasha"s new body looks just like Hazel"s except she or they, have black hair instead of Blonde. They could be twins;or quadruplets;I"m not sure. You got to help me!" "Were they harmed in any way from the explosion?" I asked wanting to get something good out of this mess. "Sure doesn"t look like it Jack," he answered a bit of excitement coming back into his voice. "Fact is, they look really good to me and that"s the problem." "That"s your dilemma." I responded. "That they are all hot looking?" "Well, yeah Jack," he said explaining his logic. "I love them both and was going to ask them to marry me. But now there are four of them in separate bodies instead of two in one body. What am I suppose to do?" "Look," I said, "You all stay put. "I"ll be over at around 10 o"clock, Ok." "10 o"clock," he repeated my words," what are you going to do till then?" "Sleep," I told him and hung up. At 10:15 Mary and me pulled up to the house Rocci, Hazel and Sasha had bought just outside of town. It was in an area of woods not far from where Hazel use to live only this one was made of field stone, rough squared wood beams and a thatch styled roof. "Oh, how lovely!" Mary exclaimed, looking the place over. "I just love these types of houses; so old world looking." I grunted and shrugged my shoulders indifferently. All I saw was a house every bug and varmint would consider as home. I knocked on the door and was surprised when Hazel answered with black hair. "Hey Jack!" she said gaily, "come on in. We were just having breakfast." "Uh, sure thing," I replied wondering just who I was speaking to, one of the Hazel"s or one of the Sasha"s. As it turned out it was Sasha. She took us back into the kitchen where I saw a menagerie of dames all seated around a table eating bacon and eggs. Rocci, I saw was cooking even as the girls were eating. "Hi ya Jack! He greeted Mary and me with a big smile on his face. "Have a seat and I"ll whip you up an omelet." I eyed him suspiciously wondering what was going on while Mary exclaimed excitedly, "An omelet! I"d love one. Without a second though she joined the crowd at the table and began babbling along with the rest. "Say sport," I said just to get Rocci"s attention, "I was under the impression you were freaking out over this problem. So what gives?" "Oh, yeah," he answered still grinning, "that was earlier, when it first happened. I"ve gotten use to it now." Bewildered, I said, "You got use to it." He smiled and pulled me to the side. "We kind of worked things out you see." "No sport," I said. "I don"t see. How can you work something like this out?" "Actually it worked itself out." "What do you mean Rocci? You have two Hazel"s and two Sasha"s living in your house. How can that possibly be worked out?" "No," he corrected me, "actually I don"t." He turned to the cluster of hens and began introductions. "First off, you already know Hazel," he turned and pointed to one of the two blonde girls seated across from each other. I compared the two and couldn"t tell the difference except this Hazel, the original, wore a red robe. Hazel grinned and waved her fork dropping egg as she did so. Next," Rocci went on, Is Harriett." The second blonde also grinned yet in a more bashful way. This identical, was dressed in a blue robe. "This dazzling girl," Rocci went on, "in the flesh is Sasha." I noticed that Sasha, who had black hair instead of blonde, blushed a very rosy shade of red at Rocci comment; Rocci, I would have bet also noticed. Sasha was dressed in a pink robe. "And last, but just as pretty, is Sarah." This Black haired beauty, dressed in a green robe, giggled and winked at me. "Hazel, Harriett, Sasha, and Sarah," I repeated, wondering how I was going to keep them straight. "Turns out they are duplicates in body only," Rocci explained. "Harriett and Sarah are from the other side same as Sasha was." I looked over the two sets of identical twins and whistled. "Not only that Jack," Rocci informed me with a big grin, "Harriett and Sarah both like me, but only as a friend. It"s just Hazel and Sasha that are hot for me. Isn"t that great?" "I don"t know dude," I answered still a bit confused, "Is there a problem here or not? You did call me at 2 in the morning claiming there was; so what is it?" "Sorry about that, Jack. But like I said, two of the girls are different people and are more like sisters. And I already had a thing going with Hazel and Sasha. The only difference is they have separate bodies. Isn"t that great?" He looked at both dames smiling at each in a most suggestive way. Hazel and Sasha giggled. "Well, sport," I said seeing one problem that Rocci obviously didn"t, "but doesn"t that mean you can"t marry them both; that would be considered polygamy." Rocci"s grin made a 180 in a southerly direction while his jaw followed. "You know Jack," he groaned, "you really know how to rain on a guys day." I chuckled, put on my best smile, and patted him on the back. "Any time sport," I said. "Now how about that breakfast you promised." We devoured Rocci"s fabulous meal then kicked back to get better acquainted. Hazel started off pointing to the dark haired girl in the pink robe. "I"d like you all to meet my very best friend, Sasha." Hazel winked at Mary and pretended to whisper, "Sasha is a much better witch than I am. Sasha blushed that same rosy red while glancing in Rocci"s direction. She was clearly much shyer that Hazel. Hazel in-turn placed her hand over her friends fidgeting hands and smirked. "Uhum!" I heard, as the identical Hazel with blonde hair indicated she wanted to be introduced next; Harriett, I recalled. ""I"m sorry Harriett, Hazel apologized. "I just got caught up with Sasha"s feelings for Rocci. "Sasha blushed once again but still managed a quick look at our cook. Rocci to was fidgeting uncomfortably. Harriett, I thought, had a much bolder personality than the other three. "I"m Harriett LaBlanc," she said taking control of the conversation, "Or at least I was when I was alive a couple hundred years ago." She placed a finger to her lips in a wondering sort of way. "Hmm, I guess that"s not my last name anymore though is it? The priest at my wedding did say till death do us part. I can"t think of a more parting than dying." She laughed at her joke and looked my way. I shrugged unsure. "No idea there Toots," I replied. I can"t think of one time where this has come up." I chuckled at her grin and added, "If you want I can have my lawyer look into it. She smiled and nodded to me. She then turned to the last look-a-like. ""This is Sarah," she said gaily. Sarah was my best friend until she caught the plague. I was so very devastated when she died. I must have cried for a month." I regarded Sarah, who, like Sasha, was very shy. It seemed to me that the personalities were in pairs too. "Oh Harriett," Sarah whispered meekly, "no one wants to be bored hearing about me." "But Sarah," Mary spoke up. "How can you think that? You"re a very attractive girl and I"m sure have lots of amazing stories to tell us on what it was like back when you and Harriett were alive." Sarah smiled warmly falling under Mary"s natural spell of friendship. "Well then," I cut in, "This being your first day in our fair town; lets all go out and kick off our shoes. I know of a new dance club we can go, have a drink and maybe shack a rug." I looked each girl over seeing a sparkle in everyone"s eyes. It was agreed so we all piled into two cars and headed down to the Meadow"s district. In my jalopy was Me, Mary and our two new friends, Harriett and Sarah, while in Rocci"s car was Hazel and Sasha and, of course, Rocci. I had a feeling those two had plans for my pall; I chuckled at that thought. Mary seemed to have read my mind and placed her hand on mine, squeezing it suggestively. In no time at all we were sitting at tables at our fair towns newest dance club called, "˜The Knights Of The Round Tables". If you recall earlier in this story, this club was my sister Annette and Arthur"s gig. Arthur, being the king of the Saxon"s we know from history. Not to worry though guys, I kept that bit of info to myself. Now I"m not much of a dancer myself, having the grace of a bull in a china shop, unfortunately Mary loved to dance and so I was forced to endure the humiliation. I did my best to mimic the young flappers on the floor as they wiggled their booty around. My booty and me though just didn"t connect. To my surprise, and delight, Sarah and Harriett joined Mary and me. Yup, that"s right; I was living every guy"s fantasy. At that moment every strutting tot in diapers was looking on with open mouths as I did my thing with three of the most gorgeous babes out there. I was pretty sure the girls new it too as they were really putting on a show. Eventually Mary, being pregnant, soon tired and I took her back to the table; Man, was I glad of that. Sarah and Harriett kept dancing to the delight of the young studs and like vultures began to maneuver, each managing to get a dance or two out of each of our dazzling dames. I"m pretty sure both gals receive phone numbers from every dude out there. I laughed, thinking that they probably didn"t even know what a phone was. I looked over to Rocci, "Say sport," I said, "Why haven"t you asked these two hotties to cut a rug yet." I pointed out to the dance floor then over to Hazel and Sasha. Rocci lowered his eyes an leaned close to me, whispering low enough so no one else would here. "Jack," he replied sounding embarrassed, "I can"t dance." I of course burst out laughing. Dude, no one is going to pay any attention to you except in envy." "Besides," I went on, "these two birds deserve a little fun." I saw his wall starting to crumble so went in to pull a few more bricks down myself. "Tell you what, sport, I"ll even ask our DJ pal to play a few slow songs so you won"t have to look like the arm flapping goon that I looked like. He looked over to Hazel and Sasha with a worried look. I could see his stomach was still churning, yet one look at his gals imploring eyes removed and remaining brick. Off they went, with Hazel and Sasha practically dragging him out on the floor. To my surprise, Rocci wasn"t that bad, at least compared to me. Soon he was smiling and having a good time. Score one for Hazel and Sasha. The night went well I thought but it was getting very late. We eventually called it a night and headed to our homes. Mary and me bid our new gals good night and promised to help them adjust to our modern life. I had a feeling, barring the occasional hang ups that they"d do quite well. Rocci, I noted before Mary and me took off, was in a kind of daze. What ever happened out there on the dace floor, I didn"t know, but I felt my pal" bid night wasn"t quire over yet. On the ride home Mary had worked he way under my embracing arm, sighing contentedly. "Jack," she said, "Do you think we have a good life?" I wasn"t sure what she meant by that but I was sure of one thing. "With you blue-eyes," I told her passionately, "my life can"t possibly get any better." She then moved her lips close to my ear and whispered, "I"m going to have twins." The End

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    Rough draft.
    lol! Excellent!

    Okay, go ahead and do your edits.
    “Jack! Is that you?” I heard a familiar voice; it was Rocci.-needs a comma in front of I. The punctuation inside the quotes doesn't matter.

    “Vaguely.” I replied, not liking the direction this conversation was heading- Again, a comma in front of I. There shouldn't be a period in the quote.

    “What!” I exclaimed stirring Mary. - same thing. The exclamation point is right but still needs separated by a comma from I. The quote is a clause.

    On the other hand, this is damn fine writing.
    Thanks yet again Don. Will fix now. I'm still having trouble spotting the outside verses inside commas. It's my bane in life I think. PS Don, I'm actually finished with my Table of content page with all hyperlinks working. All I need now is the cover art, one more short to finish up on and a bit more editing. Wish me luck dude.

    OK all fixed on my original, Thanks again.
    Lmbo! Love this one.