Brand New Shoes

Poem written by Griffin on Sunday 29, March 2015

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Description
short poem

Overall Rating: 86.6%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 86.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:85%
Spelling & Grammar:83%
Flow/Rhythm:90%
Vocabulary:85%
Brand New Shoes I went home to visit my high school buddies; we went to this old dive of a bar. It almost made me depressed just being there. Everything had a sick yellow tint, the scent of stale beer was heavy on my tongue. The place was packed with young upcoming locals. I imagine they will be sitting on the same bar stools in twenty years. In walked a girl that I knew a lifetime ago, her name was Beth. In high school she would get picked on everyday. She was heavy set with short tightly permed hair. Glasses the size of dinner plates surrounded her face. A red flannel shirt and baggy jeans covered what no one wanted to see. On her feet were these bright white shoes, they were new trendy white shoes with a thick sole. She was so happy about her shoes, she would look at them every minute to make sure they weren't soiled. She would walk around the bar with exaggerated steps, hoping someone would comment on her brand new shoes. Those shoes meant more to her then anyone would know. By now I'm sure they are stained and dirty, tossed to the back of her closet and Beth is Beth once again.
   

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Comments

    I really enjoyed the concept and some of your comparative choices. Keep posting! Smile
    Very good. A nice slice of life.