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Robin Hood was taking his spring bath in the river when he saw what looked to him like a turd floating past. He saw that it was a very large turd. He jumped out of the river and screamed,"Rob!" He had told Rob time and time again not to crap upstream. He also told him to try to stay downwind as much as possible. It seems Rob had a flatulence problem.
When Robin Hood got back to the camp he called for Rob. When Rob came over he looked clean and so did his clothes. Robin hood had to ask,"Rob, where didst thou gettith thy clothes? Ye usually wear some raggedy old garbage ye stole o' a scarecrow."
Rob told him he had robbed a rich merchant on the road. The clothes were a little baggy but , then, so was his body. Robin Hood asked why he was all dressed up when he had no place to go.
Rob said, "Be beggin' ye pardon. I 'ave a hot date tonight if ye must know."
"I'm Robin Hood. I always need to know. Who, pray tell, would be seen with the likes of ye."
"Why, it be that woman tied to that tree over there."
"Rob, we 'ave spoken of thus many a time. You can't just kidnap a woman and try to woo 'er! It doesn't work and makes ye out to be a cad, sir."
"Alright, I'll let her go. Seems we ought to 'ave extra women 'ere."
To be continued.