Me and you, Lisa and Sue

Poem written by pirate60 on Wednesday 4, February 2015

Member Avatar
Description
A rhyme

Overall Rating: 97%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 97% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:95%
Imagery:100%
Spelling & Grammar:95%
Flow/Rhythm:100%
Vocabulary:95%
Me and you, Lisa and Sue You and me, sitting in a tree, eating an apple or two. We tossed both the cores, wishing we had a few more while wondering what next to do. We both looked down for we heard a sound and there walked Lisa and Sue. Our eyes popped out, for there was no doubt, these two sisters were the cutest two. You turned to me, and I could see, a big grin upon your face. As I well knew you, and that you liked Sue, I hoped she didn't carry mace. So by-and- by, with a heavy sigh, I watched you drop to Earth. On your knees you looked up, like a brown eyed pup, and smiled for all your worth. Now it may be a sin, but I had to grin, for I saw the look she gave you. If you played your cards right, this could be your night, to share a kiss or two. I looked to Sue's right, and to my delight, saw Lisa smiling at me. So down I to went, as if Heaven sent, to see what I would see. I made a bold choice, and in a meek voice, asked Lisa to go for a walk. We did just that, and then later we sat, and no it was not to talk.
   

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.

Comments

    What was it to do then, Pirate? Are you trying to set up some dodgy internet dating scam, using the hallowed 'Routh House' as your 'den' on iniquity? Shame on you.

    Crikey, man. blokes jumping out of trees to pester sisters? Then sitting down with them after walking for a while then not talking to them. Oh, my word, you are a brute.

    ..........great poem, though.
    LOL Tell me you haven't pounced on a few birds like this in days of old my ol' British mate.
    Ignore Rob. He goes with kidnapping. It never works but he tried and tried and tried. I'm going to have to write a "Rob" story.
    I loved this. I never did that but I did some crazy things to get attention. Not that it ever did much good.
    Very nice. I think we have all been there in our youth.
    Thanks KT. @ Don, A Rob story, Aye I think you have a very good and potentially very, very funny story there. Most assuredly follow through with that idea. @ Rob What do you think of Don's idea Sir K?
    Well, my tree-jumping, sister-pouncing chum. Can't say I ever pounced on a bird, as you so Britishly put it, but I have been known to employ small amounts of Rohypnol. Oh, and sometimes a tazer, but the ends always justified the means we always agreed afterwards.

    A Rob story, Don? I'd be honoured.
    Nice one, pirate!

    I must say I enjoyed reading the comments just as much as the poem. Though after what Rob said I don't think I'm ever going to the UK.....
    @ Astarte. LOL Rob is a bit of a card isn't he. His comments can be booked and sold as is. Such a way with words. He and Don are like two brothers.