The Pacifist King

Fantasy written by Dnavarre on Saturday 18, June 2011

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Description
1. The Torchlight Road

Overall Rating: 92%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 92% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:90%
Spelling & Grammar:95%
Flow/Rhythm:95%
Vocabulary:90%
The greatly powerful and evil King Coal sat on his throne with a heavy impatience. A scout, unshaven and dark in eyes as well as soul, kneeled at his feet. "Stand," King Coal ordered. "Tell me, what do you report?" The scout stood with a smirk and gleam in his black eyes. "Very great news, my lord." "'My lord?" King Coal shoved himself off the throne so that he could properly tower over the scout. "You will address me correctlyI am your King!" The scout kneeled again, startled. "Forgive me, my King...in my glee, I have forgotten my manners." "Rise." He did, a sudden sweat, not cool by any means, on his forehead. "As I was saying, my King, I have great news. In my ranging, I stumbled across the resistance's secret Road." "The one they use for moving new recruits into their base?" "Yes, sire." King Coal stepped around the scout and began to drum his fingers on the man's head. He thought aloud to himself. "Yes...yes, that could work. Tell me, what is your name?" The scout was startled again. "My name, sire? It's Mastiff, my king." "Well, scout Mastiff, I have a great honor for you." The evil King wasn't facing the man now, but rather staring out a window with his hands held behind his back. "You will take some of my men and block this Secret Road...cut the resistance off from their source of warriors." Mastiff was stricken with a sense of pride, honor, and confusion at being a leader for the first time. "And if they try to take back the road, my king?" When King coal glanced over his shoulder, there was fire in his eyes. "Then you will crush them."
   

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Comments

    A really good fight scene, and excellent dialog. This seems as if it is part of something larger.

    Nicely done.