Peggys Journal - Entry One: Peggy Swanson

Horror story written by boneyg on Saturday 23, April 2011

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Description
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Overall Rating: 94.1%

This writing has been rated by 8 members, resulting in a rating of 94.1% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:91.875%
Imagery:94.75%
Spelling & Grammar:94.625%
Flow/Rhythm:94.75%
Vocabulary:94.5%
"Um sir, you might want to have a look at this." "What is this; a journal?" "Yes sir. It really explains quite a bit about what has happened." "Peggy Swanson? What could this possibly have to do with-?" "Trust me sir, you're going to want to read it." "Very well; leave me." "Yes sir!" "Oh and cadet." "Sir?" "Good job." "Thank you sir." September 12, 2010 7:27pm My name is Peggy Swanson, and I love Chad McCoy. OMG, I can't believe I just said that. Oh well it's not like anyone will ever read this but me. Today is my fifteenth birthday, and as a gift my mom gave me this journal. (I know, lame right?) She says it is a good way to get through hard times, when I think the world is out to get me. She also says years from now, I can look back and see what a dork I was when I was younger and have a good laugh. Anyways, getting back to Chad; I love him. I do, and I don't care who knows it. Today on our way home from school, Chad gave me his class ring, and asked me to be his girl, (OMG Sophie is going to be so jealous,) and of course I said yes. I love him, I love him, I love him! Chad asked if I wanted to go to Mary Hall's party with him this weekend. Mary's parents are going out of town, and he says it will be a good chance to have a little alone time. I told him I would ask my mom after my party. (Oh please god have her say yes!) Speak of the devil; my mom is calling me down for cake so I gotta go for now. That reminds me, I haven't heard from my dad today, he never misses my birthday, at the very least he calls to make plans to take me out later in the week. He must have gotten caught up at work. (I hate divorces!) 10:21pm I hate my mom! After having cake and ice cream, I asked if I could go to Mary's party, and she said no. Has she no idea what kind of damage this will do to my relationship with Chad. I hate her! Dad never called. September 13, 2010 11:05am The bell for fourth period just rang, and Sophie isn't here. I've been waiting all day to tell her the good news about Chad and I, maybe she's running late. Come to think of it, a lot of people aren't here. I mean it's just study hall, and people skip it all the time, but never this many. Every class has had a higher than normal amount of absentee's. It's not just students; there are a lot of teachers out as well. Must be a bug going around. I think I might skip the rest of my classes, I've decided to go to Mary's party, (with or without my mom's permission,) I would hate to get sick and miss it. I'll just call Sophie when I get home. 5:30pm My mom is very sick. When I got home from school at around one, she was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. I thought for sure she would be mad that I ditched classes, but instead she assumed I was sent home sick. She also came home feeling a bit under the weather. She looked very pale, her eyes were bloodshot, and she was constantly spitting huge globs of snot into tissues that were spread all over the table. After dinner she asked me to help her to her room. I took her by the arm and helped guide her upstairs to her bed. When I went to tuck her in, she coughed very violently, and blood came shooting from her mouth spraying me in the face. Please god, have my mom be okay.
   

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Comments

    Poignant, and tense - I love the tense style, and the foramt of this piece.

    Excellently composed, and paced. I felt for poor Peggy and her mother. I look forwards to the next installment.

    Well done, BG.
    Nice stuff Boney. I agree with Verm, great tense style about this piece.

    Interested to see where it goes.
    I really liked this! Gimme chapter 2!!!!
    Good Boney ! I still like the previous story better, it may be because I am subconsciously preferring that other plot/concept. This is good though, it captures the reader's mind.
    O.o forgot to comment. My apologies.

    Very...um....heh....great? Hm...maybe that's too simple of a word. I'll come back when there's a second chapter and a better word to describe how amazing this was.

    -Nicole
    Nicole, how about Greatcillent, or Outstanderful?

    Well; those aren't real words, but they do make it sound pretty Excellentastic.

    Thanks to everyone else for all the kind words as well.
    WONDERCLISMIC!

    Boney, my friend, this was outstanding!

    I hung on each and every word.

    It was the Stand and The Waking Dead all rolled into one compelling and fantastically well written story.

    Brilliant!
    Very good. Very nicely written.
    There seems to be a Zombie theme lately. Thank you BoneyG. Loved this. Das ist ausgezeichnet.