Ice Cream Pondherrings.

Prose written by Rob Kosy on Sunday 3, April 2011

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I'll bet you didn't know ice cream could be so sexy?

Overall Rating: 92.6%

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I don't know about you but my dietary requirements are pretty simple; breakfast, lunch, tea and supper. 'Her indoors' knows exactly what I like and that's exactly what I get; life is good. There are foods not on my usual menu that I develop an occasional hankering for, however; like a random steak or a pair of grilled Venison. The Venison are quite expensive, though and are therefore a very occasional treat. They're just too deer. Something that isn't all that dear, particularly across the pond it seems, is good old, dependable ice cream. A certain Miss Gabi Jones of Denver, Colorado just can't get enough of it. But when my herring tells us why she is so addicted to that bonanza of dairy decadence I think you will understand why. Apparently, the 'unfortunate' Miss Jones is afflicted by a rare condition known as 'persistent genital arousal disorder'. Yes, friends, I know......doesn't that sound great? But the whispering fish in my pond isn't smiling; by jingo no! Apparently, this condition can become so intense and random in its manifestation as to become debilitating. Over time it can cause the sufferer to lose all sense of pleasure since he/she learns to treat the relief of symptoms (i.e. orgasm/ejaculation) in much the same way as you or I might treat pain remedies. That must be hell to live with.......... ..........hmmmmm. The Mrs wants a new pair of shoes, so in pursuit of her goal, decides to dress up in her sexiest bedroom attire. I, of course, succumb to her clever, shoe-securing plan (don't we all lads?). But unbeknownst to the wife, the sexy lingerie in which she so expertly teases is -to my afflicted mind and spirit- nought but a sexed-up packet of soluble aspirin (though be it a sluty one). Her eyes -wide and yearning- are a couple of Ibuprofen. Instead of her blissful, panting countenance, my mind sees the green cross of our local pharmacy, her steadily building breath akin to the purring engine of a Uni-Chem delivery van. The medical community is at a loss to explain the disorders cause. But fear not Doc, Miss Jones has found it for you.

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    Very funny stuff Mr. Kosy.

    I am ashamed to admit that I could not stave off the urge to take a gander at the sugary goddess that is gaininggabi.

    I took the free tour and allowed my eyes to feast upon all of her visual deliciousness. It took four of my burliest friends to hold me down, not allowing me access to my bank card, in effect saving me from myself.

    A quick word of warning for those brave enough to embark upon the free tour; there is a pic of the fair maiden draped in a see-through fabric of some sort, and if you have the stomach to examine it closely, it would appear that her ass has relocated to the front of her body.


    I too had to go and take a quick ganders; just to assure myself that this paragon of excess actually existed - but I ran, gibbering, fron the mainpage.

    Excellently done, mister Kosy - you continue to inspire me.
    Thanks you very much chaps.

    Am I the only one who hasn't visited Gabi's shop window of excess?

    If only I had the combination to 'her indoors'' purse so I could reclaim my credit card........
    Well, I may visit the website, being an ice cream lover myself.

    However, it does not have that effect on me. It is just, as our new-age people over here across the pond say, 'comfort food.'