The Black Wolf 2

Romance Story written by Kardas on Monday 4, September 2006

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Description
Follow-up to The Black Wolf, well written but mushy.

Overall Rating: 79.333333333333%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 79.333333333333% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:76.666666666667%
Imagery:90%
Spelling & Grammar:83.333333333333%
Flow/Rhythm:70%
Vocabulary:76.666666666667%
Dracchus was amazed at how coldly his co-workers treated him. In the short time he'd spent with his new mate, her affection was enough to make him forget that he was unwanted elsewhere. Out of curiosity, he had once kissed a dog but he didn't know that he had been seen doing so. Word spread, and anyone associating with him was thought to advocate animal cruelty. Only by pleading heavily and working an extra unpaid shift every day was he able to keep his job stocking shelves at a grocery store. People avoided him, and spoke of him constantly in hushed whispers. Jodi had adjusted to living in a house much faster than either she or Dracchus could have predicted. The big black lupine was stretched across Drac's couch, running the events of the past few weeks through her head. Ever since a brief encounter with a camera crew as a cub, she had been intensely interested in humans. Through her peculiar interests she had managed to alienate every other wolf in her pack. Eventually, her family and friends grew tired of her oddness and forced her to leave. The times following that were difficult for her, food was hard to come by and she couldn't return to the territory of her pack for help. It would be nearly a month before she would meet Dracchus, a wonderful human male who'd brought her into his world and would provide for her without asking anything in return. Jodi was actually frightened at how deeply she cared for him, her heart was moving too quickly and she couldn't stop it. Hours later, after Dracchus had walked in the door Jodi jumped on him. Her heavy, but graceful body knocked the unsuspecting human to the ground. She licked his face with an incredible intensity, and on an impulse he opened his mouth for her. They engaged in a long and passionate kiss, stopping only to breathe. Dracchus smiled as he looked up at the face of his loving wolf, softly caressing her. Jodi mrred and laid down on top of Dracchus, he wrapped his arms around her and gently scratched her sides making her mrr again. "Just being near you makes everything right in the world", Dracchus said with a wistful sigh. Jodi nuzzled his neck and mrred, he rubbed her tummy. They snuggled on the floor for a while, then showered together again. Jodi found she enjoyed being clean, it made her feel more human, and a bit closer to Dracchus because of it. After her thick fur had been dried, they cuddled and slept in Drac's bed again. This continued for the rest of the week, though each of them had been gradually growing more nervous around the other as their feelings for one another flourished. Fearing that he could be imagining some of it, he decided to go camping with Jodi again. If she wanted to leave, she probably would he concluded. Friday night, he packed up all of his camping gear and threw it in his truck. The next morning, he fed Jodi when she awoke and they left. After Dracchus set up camp, he and Jodi played until the sun went down, then relaxed in front of a campfire until they had grown tired. They snuggled and slept in Drac's tent, but in the middle of the night Jodi awake to the sound of one of her pack mates howling. Her ears perked and she waited for the sound to repeat before deciding to visit them one last time. She very slowly and cautiously wriggled out of Drac's grip and set out in the direction of her old den. When Jodi reached the home of her pack, her old home, she was greeted with many cold glares and a few growls. She immediately took a submissive position, pleading to be acknowledged as part of the pack if only for a brief while. Her own family growled at her hatefully until finally her brother charged. She was sure he wouldn't attack, but as he got closer she became less certain. Before he got her, she bolted off in a random direction. The rest of the pack joined in on the chase, she was able to stay a bit ahead of them but by the time they stopped their pursuit she had no idea where she was. Whimpering, she desperately tried to find a way back to Dracchus. Dracchus woke up alone, thinking at first that his mate had gone to do her business in the woods. After 20 minutes, he became quite worried. He got dressed and looked for her for a few hours, unable to find any trace. "She went back to her pack...she's really gone.." he said to himself mournfully, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He buried his face in his arms and sat motionless, feeling as if the world had ended. He had fallen asleep, he realized as a cold nose pressed against his neck and woke him up. He opened his eyes to see his beloved, and their eyes met for a long moment. He threw his arms around her in a tight hug and she lapped at his face and neck excitedly. They spent the day together as they had tried to do as often as possible. Each of them had realized they would only have each other, and they needed one another. That night, in a single beautiful act they became one in body and in soul. Their relationship had become even closer afterwards, they were nearly inseparable. All of the problems of the world seemed to disappear, Drac had Jodi and Jodi had Drac and that's all that would ever matter to them.
   

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Comments

    This does not read very smoothly, but after a few paragraphs it gets more easy. I personally found the first part better than the latter. Probably because the end became rather predictable.
    Personally I think that this story could do with more detail about the protagonist.