Tears Of Cassandra :- part 1 and 2

Fantasy written by Vermithrax on Wednesday 26, January 2011

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Description
An idea I've benn playing with for a while

Overall Rating: 95.32%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 95.32% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:93.8%
Imagery:96.2%
Spelling & Grammar:95.8%
Flow/Rhythm:95%
Vocabulary:95.8%
Cassandra's Tears "The exercise of true magic does not require any ceremonies or conjurations, or the making of circles and signs; it requires neither benedictions nor maledictions in words, neither verbal blessings or curses."
PARACELSUS: (1493-1541).
Prologue
Nizza, France, 1536[/i]
Nobody saw the star fall from the sky. Nobody watched it cut a line of emerald fire across the star-studded lining of heaven; vivid green; limned with argent. There was no sound, as it dropped towards the earth, bent upon a path of self-destruction. The first anybody knew, in that sparsely populated area, that something out of the ordinary had occurred, was a deep, rumbling vibration. It rang through the solid earth, waking people from their slumbers, and rattling the walls of their sparse homes; vibrating their walls, and destroying pottery. So heavy were the tremors, they even shook the buildings in the city of Nizza, some twenty or so kilometers away. For fully ten minutes, the ground shook. People prayed for their salvation, convinced that the end of the world was upon them. Others accepted their fate, shivering, in their beds. Livestock squealed and squawked their terror, and dogs barked defiantly at the gyrating stars. All were convinced, that the end of days had come suddenly upon them. But the world did not end. The tremors slowed, and stopped. The world resumed its usual steadfast flow, as the stars settled back into their accustomed places in the heavens. Those who had prayed for salvation, thanked god for their lives, and gathered up the threads of their lives, grateful to be alive. Slowly, the terrified animals calmed, and slept again, already forgetful of their previous terror. The eastern sky brightened, and dawn came, with the promise of a new day, and people went about their lives. For weeks, the shaking of the earth was a wonder; the myriad of reasons as to the cause, a topic of discussion among the men in the fields, and the women in the marketplace. Many thought it the work of God and the Host; a result of the eternal battle to keep the Devil imprisoned in the depths of hell. Representatives of the church seized upon this concept, to instill fear into their congregations, and to preach the wrath of the Lord, from the pulpit. The congregation, God-fearing people all, listened raptly, and prayed for their eternal souls. Life went on, and the tremor was eventually forgotten; superseded by the harsh realities of day-to-day life, and existing. Nobody saw the star fall from the sky; yet its effect was profound.
   

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Comments

    I want to write like you when I grow-up Verm.

    Fantastic! A very good start.
    Amazing! I'm gonna need to read some more of this real soon. My bookshelves at home are lined with books about fae, and i gotta say that this really outshines some of the published stuff i have read. A fab start, though need some more. Please and thankyou. Smile
    Very good.
    I like the way you stay with the English mythology. It is a rich subject, and you develop it well.
    'You are still, Fae. You are still, a subject of the Winter Court.'

    'Even thus,' The woman continued. 'you exist - to does my Lady's bidding.'


    These two sentences don't read well. Is she still Fae or is she still, Fae.

    to does- to do.

    A superb start; superb as usual.
    Okay, Smile

    English-ism fixed, for Don.
    You write beautifully. Your prose is so poetic and lyrical without sounding obnoxious. This is a hard balance to achieve and you did so wonderfully.

    I thought that the prologue was quite good. It enticed me to keep reading and created an aura of mystery. You also have a gift of drawing the reader into the scene and make them feel a part of the setting.

    However, I would have liked your first chapter to be longer. Nothing really happened. There was some nice introspection and the mysterious aura of the forest but I just didn't feel that this qualified as a chapter.

    But despite my one qualm with your story, I think this is a superb piece and I cannot wait for more.
    Okay, I should've totally read this before parts three and four (duh). Made total sense now.

    Interesting to note though, your descriptions are vivid enough to make the stories enjoyable on their own; I really liked the latter part even though it was like reading in media res Smile.

    What can I say?

    This is simply awesome.