Beasts

Prose written by flickeringfairy on Saturday 22, January 2011

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Description
Out of boredom and contemplation

Overall Rating: 91.866666666667%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 91.866666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:92.333333333333%
Imagery:94.333333333333%
Spelling & Grammar:90.666666666667%
Flow/Rhythm:89.666666666667%
Vocabulary:92.333333333333%
In the depths of night, there is a thing that lurks in the shadows, a thing that sears the mind. A stalker of dreams, a demon of reality, that scratches the souls and devours their essence. It is this creature that haunts my subconscious and causes blood to ooze from the cracks in the walls. It is this beast, of an alternate universe, that forces my body to weep tears and seep cold sweat. Yes, he is the ruler of my thoughts, master of illusion, bearer of delusional torture and torment. If I believed there was a God and he could help, I would pray to him and beg him for forgiveness for the sins I never committed and ask him why he punishes me for the wrongs I thought were right. For the mistakes I did not make. You see, though I do not fear God and I do not believe or bow my head in prayer, for this, am I to be punished? Because in my head I am right, and do my best to be good, and do what society thinks of as tolerable and just. It is for this I am punished. When all is well and good in the outside world, a battle rages in my head. The battle between my spirit and the demon. Unfortunately, and much to my disappointment; I'm losing the war, and with my weakness, his wrath gets stronger. Soon the battle shall end. And I will be lost to the Lord of Death.
   

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Comments

    Interesting prose.

    It would benefit immensely froma small clean up; not much - just some puntuation and speel errors.

    I liked this a lot; well done.
    Thanks, yup, see what you mean. I think I've got them all now.
    Very dark. Short, but nicely done.
    I really liked this, it may be short but it is very visual and extremly colorful. Great job!
    Thank you kt and jade!