Oh what might have been

Poem written by boneyg on Friday 14, January 2011

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Description
I am not very good at poems, but was bored so I gave it a shot.

Overall Rating: 86.666666666667%

This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 86.666666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:87.666666666667%
Imagery:89.5%
Spelling & Grammar:86.833333333333%
Flow/Rhythm:89.833333333333%
Vocabulary:79.5%
We sit in my car just her and I. She is very beautiful. I am very nervous. She speaks; I listen. I speak; she listens. She likes me; I hope. I like her; I know. I joke; she laughs. She jokes; I laugh. I fart. Oh no. Silence. She checks her watch. I check the air. It's bad. She opens her mouth to speak; but doesn't. Did she taste it; of course. She exits the car; no kiss goodnight. I said call me. She said we'll see. Oh what might have been.
   

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Comments

    Funny stuff man. Keep em coming.
    lol! this is a pretty funny poem! Love it!
    Nice. Smile
    Did she tast it; of course. - I think you mean taste.

    Very funny!
    Excellent!
    I love most things profane & comically rude.

    I think most of us boys have done the fart thing at the worst possible moment. But, with age, comes understanding. She was waiting for you to grade the fart; odour, volume and stamina all need to be given a mark out of ten.

    Learn this my friend, & your car windows will never want for steam.

    Great stuff.Wink
    Knowing your sense of humor, I found this short story to be one of your funniest pieces! I love it! And I love your confidential humor... always have! Smile