The Legend Of Big Bad F**K

Horror story written by boneyg on Thursday 23, December 2010

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In 1985 a man with extraordinary gifts walks into the house of the devil to do battle. This is his story. This is the story of Big Bad Fuck. (Mature content ment for 18 and older)

Overall Rating: 92.466666666667%

This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 92.466666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Spelling & Grammar:93.5%
Prelude Well hello friend, welcome to Skips Gas N Go. Some storm we're havin out there. The weatherman reckins we's gonna get pert near a foota the white stuff for it's all said and done. So, what brings ya out? Just a quick fill-up, or ya wanna look round a bit?...... Oh I see, yer new ta The Berg, just popped in ta introduce yerself. Alrighty what might your name be than?........Uh huh, Uh huh. Well now that there's a rite fine name if I do say so maself. Rite fine. And ya say ya moved inta the old Anderson place out on Crow Creek Road? Horrible thing that happened to the Anderson's, horrible indeed. Good people they were, what a shame. Anyways listen ta me carry on. That's a story fer another day. My oh my where are my manners? Just you hold on a second whiles I wipe the grease offa ma hands.......Ah, okay put'er there. The names Barney Bailey, but most folks round here call me Skip...... How's that? Ya already know ma name?.......Ya say Ms. Sue Ellen told ya. Let me guess, ya met her down by the statue in town square.......Yep, thats what i thought. Ms. Sue Ellen spends mosta her days down there talkin ta that statue. As she should. Ya see the man that statue was made for did a mighty fine thing fer Ms. Sue Ellen. Mighty fine indeed. Hell, she aint the only one that oughta be thankin him. The whole God damn town owes old Big Bad Fuck a debt of gratitude. Oh pardin ma language, I don't mean ta be crude, thats just what everyone called him........ Come again?.......Ooooh, ya say that's the reason ya came round thisa ways. Ms. Sue Ellen told ya I could fill ya in on the reason we gotta statue of a giant down in town square with the words Big Bad Fuck engraved at the base of it. Well now, I don't figure there's nobody round here can tell it better n me. Hell friend I done told the story, no story aint quite good nuff. I done told the legend of Big Bad Fuck so many times I could prolly tell it in ma sleep. Ya see I was present fer mostta what happened with old Fuck, on accounta him and me being cousins, not ta mention best friends. Inseperable. Him and me was, every since we was kids....... Hold on a second let me getcha a hot cup of joe...... Ahhh there ya go. No, no, put your money away this ones on the house. Now, just pull-up that chair right over there, sit back and relax.........There ya go ya comffy? Good , good. No don't worry bout people commin in, they all know bout old Fuck. Besides they prolly gotta story or two bout him that's personal ta them. Now than, lets get to it this here's the legend of Big Bad Fuck.

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    Okay. On with the story.

    I'm intrigued - the prelude has done it job very well. The style is good and sets the standard for what promises to be a good yarn.

    Thank you for double spacing the paragraphs, and a vary warm welcome to the Den, BoneyG
    Very well-done. It's a little different approach and you make it work. I love the way you have him talk as people talk.
    You really have set a tone here.

    This intro was reminiscent of Stephen King's 'Daloris Claybourne', & set the same kind of atmosphere; though I suspect the content is gonna be a bit funnier.....

    This was great.
    Beautiful! I loved it.

    Accent, language, all of it reminded me A LOT of my family.

    Great piece of work.