Slice

Poem written by Invisible Heroine on Wednesday 22, December 2010

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Description
a little disturbing,....maybe

Overall Rating: 93.96%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 93.96% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:93%
Imagery:96.8%
Spelling & Grammar:93.6%
Flow/Rhythm:94.4%
Vocabulary:92%
I wonder what would happen if my mom knew, that everyday her daughter cuts open her seems, and let her insides fall out. I wonder what would happen if my dad knew, that every night his darling baby girl enjoyed the sting of cold steel sliding across her flesh. My mom's perfect, pretend world would shatter. The glass would crash around and damage everyone close enough. Like, My sister, My brother, and my Best friend. My dad would cry, and another chunk of his heart would be torn away. Another problem would be added to their plates. They would wonder, "why?" Why did they have to get the imperfect child? Why do they have to deal with me? Why? Why? Why? But, I am sorry. I am sorry Daddy, I am sorry Mama, I am sorry Hayden, Christopher, and Raquel. I'm sorry I disappoint you and I'm sorry I hurt you With what I do.
   

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Comments

    Wow that's deep for fourteen. Fantastic! I just hope it's not true. You have a gift.
    Thanks I appreciate it a ton!
    Very painful. I hope and pray it is not autobiographical.
    The last two lines were a perfect ending to a very good poem.

    I echo kt and BoneyG though; I hope it's not autobiographical.
    Very good poem. I can feel the emotion without being told what it is. Thats a very good quality in poems and stories. I can relate to this poem, which makes me like it more. Good job!
    Thank you all so much!