The Candle's Flame

Poem written by Raven on Monday 18, February 2002

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Overall Rating: 85%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 85% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:85%
Imagery:85%
Spelling & Grammar:85%
Flow/Rhythm:85%
Vocabulary:85%
As I stare into the candle flame I hear people talking with no mention of a name They are talking about the couple we are And then one says you'll be better by far With someone that is right for you With someone that cares the way you do I hurts because I love you so very much And I don't know how to show you Except through my gentle touch I hear you when you say that you know and see But the only way I know is to just be me With the brightest stars In those loveing eyes I hope you can get past all my horrible lies Everyday I wish we will never part And I thank you for every new start As you hold me close to you There is one thing I wish I will never have to do To hear you need your space To not be able to kiss and touch that gentle face I love you with every bit of my heart So please tell me we will never part I truely hope you feel this way to And always remember I will always love you Everyday we are together I hope you see You will always have a part of me
   

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Comments

    Nicely done.
    Love your poem, just need to put punctuation marks where needed and to should be written as too, meaning also. Again nice