The Girl Who Saved Christmas.

Children's Story written by Rob Kosy on Friday 17, December 2010

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Description
Something I wrote at Christmas for my daughter in 2008, when she was 5. This was the first of a series (I write one every year) and she gave me permission to share this with my friends on the Den.

Overall Rating: 94.685714285714%

This writing has been rated by 7 members, resulting in a rating of 94.685714285714% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:97%
Imagery:95.142857142857%
Spelling & Grammar:93%
Flow/Rhythm:93.285714285714%
Vocabulary:95%
Too excited for sleep on this pre-Christmas night, one little girl couldn't wait for morning's light. So with pictures of Santa and presents in her head, Abbey lay awake in her Christmas Eve bed. The creak of a floor board, a squeak of the door, sounds that Abbey had heard lots before. But on this special night with snow on the ground, Abbey knew who had made that sound. As quiet as mice Abbey slipped from her room, creeping on tip-toes through the mid-night gloom. But what should she hear as excitement shook her knees? Not a ho-ho-ho, but a great big sneeze. Sure she would catch him Abbey burst through the door, certain to see something no child had seen before. But instead of presents stacked high in the air, there sat Santa, ill in the chair. The milk she'd left he did not touch, and he didn't seem to want the cookies much. He was all befuddled, oh what should he do? "Oh no!" Abbey whispered, "Santa's got the flu." Santa turned to her and tried to grin, but instead a fat snot dripped from his chin. "Help me, Abbey," he croaked, "I'm in a terrible state. If these presents aren't delivered Christmas will be too late." With a twinkle in her eye Abbey grinned and said: "I'll take them Santa, on your magical sled." With a click of his fingers and a magical quote, he made her an Abbey-sized Santa coat. Then with boots, hat and gloves she was ready to go, so up the chimney she went to join Rudolph and co. With toys in the sled Abbey jumped in the seat, "Come on Reindeers," she giggled, "We've a deadline to meet." Then with a pull on the rains they began to fly, and our mini-Santa whooshed off through the Christmas eve sky. The first house was Kai's on Santa's long, long list, but they flew so fast it was almost missed. Then with a cry of "Whoooa," they began to stop, and landed on the roof, right next to the chimney top. Kai's presents were big, too large for the gap, Abbey scratched her head and took off her Santa's cap. Magic dust was inside and it made her think, she sprinkled Kai's presents and they began to shrink. Down the chimney they went in their shrunken state, and right then Abbey knew Christmas would not be late. Because at the bottom they began to grow, and not in a heap, but in a lovely neat row. Paige, Brooke, Beth and Jack, everyone received gifts from Abbey's Santa sack. Through home after home she crept like a mouse, leaving gifts aplenty in each and every house. From England to China then America they flew, our miniature Santa and her reindeer crew. At last she had finished St Nicholas's list, not one of the children on the page had she missed. And with a yawn and a stretch she stepped out of the sled, sleepy and tired, looking forward to bed. Back in the house Santa was watching Sky telly, milk in hand, cookie crumbs on his belly. "Thank you Abbey," he said, with a nod and a wink, and took one last gulp of his Christmas eve drink. "I'm feeling much better," he said with a ho-ho-ho, and stood by the fireplace ready to go. But before he did he threw magic dust in the air, and Abbey gasped at the room full of presents that were suddenly there. With a tap of his nose up the chimney he went, Back to the North pole from where he was sent. So sleepy and tired Abbey went back to bed, where she dreamed of reindeers and a ride in a sled. "Merry Christmas." said Mam and Dad when the morning did come, unaware of the hard work their daughter had done. And hung on the fire place was Abbey's coat from last night, which she'd worn to save Christmas and make everything right. Merry Christmas to one and all.
   

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Comments

    Absolutely - bloody - superb.

    youmight want to change 'quite' in the third verse, to 'quiet'

    I loved this; magical.
    Get this copyrighted and published. I mean it.
    A brilliant piece of writing; a wonderful tale. A...- pick any superlative and it describes this. This stunned me.
    Wow, I don't know what to say; I wasn't expecting that.

    Can't believe I missed that, Verm (thanks); it's fixed now.

    Abbey and I sat and read all of your comments together (it was written for her & she gave me permission to post it here) & she told me to say a big, "Thank you". Abbey (unlike her dad) has been published, but kt's got me wondering...............Grin
    Simply wonderful! This gave me goosebumps from head to toe when I was reading it (in a good way!)

    Would we know any of Abbey's work?
    Maybe, Kerri if your kids are old enough for school.

    She wrote a lovely little acrostic poem which was included in an anthology entitled (strangely enough) My First Acrostic Poem.

    The theme of the poem was her own name.
    Absolutely enchanting Rob, rhyming and rhythm are faultless and you capture the spirit of Christmas without ever resorting to saccharin. Many kids would love this; you should look into publishing it Smile
    this is very very lovely Smile
    This is purely the Christmas spirit through writing. Smile

    You could get this published as one of those kid's books with the pictures and everything.(Then I could say when it gets to America i know the person who wrote this)Grin
    If that dream were to happen Malicepoint, I would have a whole host of people to thank here. You've all encouraged me to give the "P" thing a go, but so far motions in that direction seem to be more difficult than actually writing the bloody thing.
    It's ironic that a kids story (most full of illustrations) has went down so well because I'm actually trained as an illustrator; never thought I'd actually write one.