From possibility to actuality
I awake in the morning wrapped in the scent of Ali, for the first time in what seems like years. I don't move an inch, too frightened to break up the peaceful warmth of the morning. I take my time watching him sleep; the fluttering of his eyes as he dreams; his chest rising and falling lazily with deep sleep; every curve, dimple and rise of his perfect face. I'm trying to savor this, his serenity, before he wakes and it slowly leaks from his eyes. The peacefulness always stays a while after he gets up; well, minutes and then like a tidal wave destroying a whole town, it's taken from him and he becomes tense, agitated and... lost. I've grown to dread that inevitable happening.
His hair has grown out quite a lot since he had made that impromptu decision to cut it off all of those months ago and not to mention that it has darkened so much since he hit the peak of his power; so, now it cascades across half of his face like a fall of black silk and I find myself tearing up before I can stop myself. His beauty always moves me and that has not lessened one little bit as the years go on.
If you visited the beautiful planes of the Antarctica many times you would not fail to still be awe struck by its beauty, because it is just that wondrous. A lonely, captivating land of desolate ice and snow, a mystery to all - that is Alistair to me. So the more I see of him and the more I explore of his complicated, lonely life the more I find myself drawn in. I can't imagine ever getting numb to him or remotely bored; it's just not possible but it's not only me that feels this way.
I had thought so but now, after seeing him interact with the Justice, the Amarian people and Lucile I now know that it's everyone
; they're all completely affected by his presence. It makes me wonder what the Numinous really are, or what they were really meant to be? Anyhow, my point is this; I'm still not sure how I feel about that. I guess a part of me is a little threatened by the knowledge that he could quite easily find someone new if he wanted to but then all I have to remember is that he chose me knowing things were going to be so hard and then all of my doubt slips away, sated.
Ali moves minutely beside me and I know he's watching me even before my eyes sweep over to his.
"Good morning." I whisper, placing a very light kiss on his lips.
He doesn't answer me, instead pulling me against his hot body and I press myself to him, as equally hard.
Why can't things just stay like this; worry free, easy, loving and warm? That's all I want - not the responsibility of saving everyone or even the burden of my own growing powers - I just want him and that's all. But would I give up everything for him? Would I let the Amara destroy themselves for it? No and that's why I won't let this reality really settle in and comfort me; the hard times are not over yet.
Sometime later, over our room served breakfast, Ali finally talks to me.
"Did you sleep well?"
I look up from my bowl of Metas - an Arrobian version of cornflakes - and frown at him. What has happened to the easiness?
"Yes, fine thank you... well more than fine, if I'm honest, you were here so I slept brilliantly." I say smiling.
He doesn't return the smile; in fact, his jaw clenches and he continues on with his breakfast, without so much as a grunt in my direction.
So, it's going to be one of those days is it? Great and today of all days.