The Black Wolf

Romance Story written by Kardas on Wednesday 2, August %9

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Description
A short love story I wrote in '04. I've recently performed many minor revisions and will rewrite at some point. I am currently working on a sequel, but I don't have enough ideas to make it work so I would appreciate suggestions.

Overall Rating: 79.7%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 79.7% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:82.5%
Imagery:78%
Spelling & Grammar:84.5%
Flow/Rhythm:73%
Vocabulary:80.5%
Dracchus was lying outside his tent staring at the stars, but began to doze off. His eyelids became heavy and sleep took over him. Minutes later, a cold nose on his neck woke him up. Dracchus opened his eyes to see a wolf, the moonlight making her black fur seem to glow. He jumped; she hopped back and growled for a few seconds but then stopped, coming closer to him again. He backed up until he was against a tree but she kept advancing, seeming curious rather than hostile. She eyed him inquisitively and sniffed at his neck, he wished he was elsewhere. Few moments passed and she was still motionless, apparently not wanting to attack him. He looked at her in the same way she was looking at him-with a curious wonder at the unexpected situation. She had expected to have been shot or captured and he had expected to have been eaten or mauled. After nearly ten minutes of blank staring, Dracchus reached out a trembling hand, she tensed suspiciously but did not run or bite him. His hand settled on her cheek, as he reveled in the softness of her fur, she stayed tense, not really trusting him but no longer knowing why she shouldn't. He stroked from her cheek down her neck and across her back as far as he could reach before returning his hand to her cheek and starting again. She emitted a pleasant mrring noise and began to lose her defensive attitude, becoming less tense around him. He continued to pet her and she continued to relax, eventually laying across his lap and nuzzling his belly while he pat her. In just a short time the two of them had grown very attached to each other, each felt the other was perfect in every way. Dracchus eventually coaxed the beautiful she-wolf off his lap and headed back to his tent. She followed, not wanting to return to the harsh life of a wolf without a pack, she didn't want to be a loner anymore. The human crawled into his tent, but before he could zip it up, the wolf followed. He gestured for her to leave, but she didn't. He smiled and decided it would be nice to have some company after all the years of being a social outcast. He laid on top of his sleeping bag and she curled up to him. He held her and ran his fingers through the lovely soft fur on her back while she licked his neck. He smiled and kissed her forehead, causing her to mrr again. He realized that he was sweating and not because it was hot or because he was afraid. He had fallen for her, and she seemed to feel the same way. They eventually fell asleep cuddling. The next day, Dracchus packed up his camping gear and stuck it in his truck. He didn't want to leave his new lover, but he had work the next day and needed to get back to the city. The she-wolf watched in wonder as the shelter she'd slept in the night before was reduced to only sticks, and what looked like a giant lead a few minutes ago, was neatly packed away. Once everything was packed, Dracchus opened the driver seat of his truck. The wolf hopped in before him. He tried to coax her out of the truck but she wouldn't budge, so he gave in again and drove her to his house with the full intention of bringing her back should she pine for the woods. Once they got home, he put away all of the camping stuff and gave his new "wife" a tour of their home that ended with the bathroom where he started the shower and began to get nude. He stepped under the water and she followed him as he'd hoped. He washed her thick fur then washed himself. He shut off the water and stepped out, drying himself with a towel and trying to dry her but failing. All of his towels ended up soaked and she didn't seem to get any drier. He got a better idea and used a hair drier to dry her dark fur while brushing her, then brushed his own hair. The two of them rolled around in the back yard all day then cuddled in Dracchus's bed that night. They were both truly happy for the first time.
   

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  • An interesting story. I wish you went into the danger a little more surrounding her almost getting shot. I believe the story would be stronger with a fuller plot, something for the reader to really sink their teeth into. Wink
    - August 13 2007 03:36:56