Prelude to Despair

Essay written by Darkfire on Monday 9, August %17

Member Avatar

Overall Rating: 90.666666666667%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 90.666666666667% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Spelling & Grammar:95%
Often ones wonder how depression slips its way through a person and into the deepest regions of their soul. They wonder how a person once beaming with life and joy can be transformed into a mere shadow of their former self. Their loved one's didn't even notice when the darkness came over their eyes, making them look more like a zombie. Many will admit to you that they themselves cannot recall the moment loneliness became a part of them and the world as they knew it had vanished, leaving behind only them. As time goes on however, this "loneliness" festers and slowly begins to alter the hosts mind. It begins to take shape and forms a will of its own. With more time and the right conditions, it swells to immense proportions. At this stage it is nearly unstoppable; this world providing the perfect habitat for it to grow. Meanwhile on the outside, the host begins to sleep more, eat less, and has almost completely forgotten what a real smile feels like. Others brush it off as the person having an off day, but for the truly blessed, someone takes notice and quickly takes action. However, this journey is about the not-so-lucky. Now loneliness is strong enough to even enter the host's dreams, ruining the last refuge of the host. Here it imposes its will upon them. It asks them invasive questions, knowing the answer will lead to deeper sorrow. It shows you all the wicked surrounding you; some that you never even noticed before. The worst part is that you believe it because, well... it's true. And inside your mind it's only you and it so there is no one to contest to these facts. The completion of it is almost here, but before it can be done something must be fulfilled by the host. "Commit yourself to me," says Loneliness with wide open arms, "I am your only friend." "Yes, you are, aren't you?" asks the Host. "I'm just so tired of being alone." "Let me in and you will never be alone again." "...Ok." The morning comes and the bedroom door opens as a mother sees her child sitting quietly on their bed; a dark ring wraps around their eyes. This is the beginning of the end. When you are lonely, not only does loneliness become your only friend, it becomes you...I hope the irony of this is not lost on you.

Rate This Submission

Please take the time to rate this writing once you have read it. Our ratings system allows people to know both how popular the writing is, and how well the general populous of the site thinks it is written. This also allows the writer to have feedback about their writing, so they know if they need to improve their technique, or if they're on the right track.

The system allows you to vote on several aspects on the writing. Refer to the help text below each aspect for an explanation. Consider the different aspects carefully, and submit your vote using this form. It will be instantly weighted with the other votes given.

Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought?
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it?
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentences or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant?
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have used?


Leave a Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.
  • Good piece of truth.
    - August 09 2010 20:33:04
    • arigatou
      - August 09 2010 22:50:33
      • Freewriting? Seems more like a bit of a rough draft.
        I sincerely hope and pray it is not autobiographical.
        - August 10 2010 00:32:04