Pokemon: New Colors

Fan Fiction written by Dnavarre on Monday 12, July 2010

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Ch 1, 2, and 3

Overall Rating: 93.8%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 93.8% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:92.5%
Imagery:93.5%
Spelling & Grammar:93.5%
Flow/Rhythm:96%
Vocabulary:93.5%
Note: As always, you have the right not to read this. I understand this is a long post and I encourage that right. If you don't want to read this, it's completely understandable and you shouldn't. I'd say this is directed at Kt and Don, but I'd feel a little pompous doing so. But it is. Chapter 1: New Colors This world of Pokemon in which I live is constantly growing. There are hundreds of Pokemon to collect, and more and being found each day. New lands are becoming open to humans; among those are Hoenn, Sinnoh, my home Kanto, and its attached region Johto. The creatures known as Pokemon have a mysterious past, but the Legendary Pokemon-the ones that are so rare that only a few exist-are the ones proved to have had a hand in creating our world. Arceus, the first Pokemon, first gave life to Dialga and Palkia, and later created Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit. Mew then came in the hundreds to live on our planet, each holding the DNA of every Pokemon that would ever be. Soon the world met Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza. Groudon created a large mass of land, while Kyogre covered the Earth with water. When the two began to quarrel, Rayquaza swept down and set them both to sleep forever, separated. Regigigas broke the landmass into various continents and islands, and was eventually sealed away by Registeel, Regice, and Regirock. Dialga, Palkia, Arceus, Azelf, Uxie, and Mesprit slipped away. When Mew began to evolve into the various Pokemon they contained the DNA of, their numbers decreased. New Legendary Pokemon came to be, and hundreds if not thousands of non-legendary ones. Eventually, even Mew became, who had once been hundreds, became rare and quite legendary himself. But why am I reviewing my history lessons? I should be trying to sleep! I glanced at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. I groaned and turned away from its taunting face, pulling my pillow over my ears to block out the excruciatingly loud ticking. I'm only eleven! I should be asleep, getting my rest for tomorrow! Tomorrow, or, rather, today if one was to be technical, was an important day in the relatively small town of Pallet. The local and famous Professor Oak had announced nearly a month ago that he was conducting an experiment on this very day. The man was going to give three children over the age of ten a rare Pokemon and a device of his own design, a Pokedex, and send them out to discover, capture, and explore the world on their very own journey. And I'm going to be one of them. I smiled to myself in the dark of my room. To have not only a Pokemon, but a rare one, and to be sent on the greatest of adventures...that was so amazing. And it wasn't a dream. It was in reach, especially since I was one of only four children in Pallet Town old enough to qualify. The older teenagers had things to do, and others had already left to take the Gym Leader Challenge, to beat each of the eight Gym Leaders in turn and receive a badge proving their strength with which they could enter and challenge the Elite Four in a Pokemon Battle. Then, if successful, they would be Champions. Of course, not many people ever made it that far, or even close. The road was hard and stressful. I didn't have any doubts though, I would make it. I'll be the best. At that thought, my eyes closed and sleep seemed to drift down. I was sinking into my bed's comfy spot when a tapping woke me. I groaned, ready to scream into my pillow. I didn't though, as that would wake my parents. I shot a look at my window, where somebody was tapping the glass sharply. Groggily, I crawled out of bed and stumbled to the window. I lifted the glass and invited the person in with a welcoming hand that ran against my wishes. My parents had raised me to be polite. I hated that. "Man, I can't sleep, Darin, can you?" I couldn't believe the girl. Well, I was about to, but not anymore, I think. "No, I'm as awake as ever, Ariana." I looked her over. Despite my irritation, I smiled. She must have seen it, because she asked. "What are you smiling about?" "I was just wondering how long you spent on your hair. It looks like you've been washing and combing it for hours." Even in the dark I could see her blush pink prettily and try to hide it by looking at my shined wooden floor. "Well, like I said, I couldn't sleep, and..." "It's better than just lying there?" I finished helpfully, feeling a little bad for making her feel bad. "Yeah..." "Oh, take a seat." She did, on the edge of my bed where I had pointed. ADo you want anything to drink?" "Oh, uh, no, thanks. I'm fine." "Okay." I sat beside her then got up again quickly to close the window. A summer night's draft had found its way in. I resumed my place beside Ariana. We sat beside each other for what seemed a few long minutes, though it was only a few seconds, when Ariana, evidently looking for something to say (I was too) said "So, what Pokemon do you think we'll get?" I had thought about it, to be sure, but had no idea what kind of rare Pokemon there were, besides the Legendaries. And what kind of nutjob would hand out something like a Mew to kids? The idea was laughable. "I don't know." I said. "What do you think?" She turned to glance at my clock. "I don't know, either, but my brother Marcus, Oak's aide, says he knows what they are. He told me one." I shot her a quick look, my mouth open in anticipation. "Really?" I 'oop'ed myself quiet, realizing I had been a little loud. Shouting in my pillow would have gotten some stern words from my parents. Having them find a girl in my room in the dead of night would have been much worse. I waited a second, and Ariana seemed to get my drift because she was quiet as well. A few horrible seconds passed where I thought I heard some weight in the room above shift, but nobody came down. I sighed. The pressure of having Ariana be silent for that time, not telling me her secret, had been much more horrible than the prospect of my parent's anger. "What it is?" I rushed out, dying a little more every slow second. "It's a Squirtle, and it sounds absolutely adorable. It's a water Pokemon that's like a dwarf in a designed shell. At least, that's how Marcus describes it." She seemed to blush again, and again tried to hide it too late. "That's sounds great." I said. "It would definitely suit you." I meant it. She looked at my clock again, and I had to as well. The temptation was too great to ignore. "It would, wouldn't it? It sounds really cute, and I think water Pokemon are great." More weight shifted upstairs. "I think I should leave before somebody discovers us," she said and started for my window. I got up with her. "I'm really sorry, Ariana. I'd rather have someone to talk to, but the risk is pretty good we'll get caught. My parents are light sleepers." I held open the window for her. "I'll see you at tomorrow...or, rather, later this morning?" "I wouldn't miss it. Be there early so you can get a good one, too, okay?" "I will," I promised and closed the window as she walked away. I would have accompanied her home, but my parents would die if they discovered me missing one night. I returned to my bed and buried myself under the covers, trying to block out the tantalizing ticking once more. It took more than a hour for sleep to draw me into its hold, and even then it was a light sleep that ended not long after at the slightest sound outside, though it wasn't a person this time, only a random noise. After waking there was no chance of embracing rest the rest of the night, so I spent the rest of the late night checking my backpack. Everything I needed was in there. Three sets of clothes took up a lot of room, and there was a journal nestled in the bottom. Burying the journal were a four pairs of socks. A lengthy book had been placed, unbeknownst to me, behind the clothing. Upon further inspection by lamplight I identified it as my school's history book, with a note from my teacher that wished me luck and explained that he had paid for and donated the book to me. I didn't want it, exactly, but it was a gift and there was little I could do about it, short of leaving the thing hidden in my bookshelf. Well, it might come in handy, I thought, and replaced it in my bag. In the kitchen were several bottles of refrigerated water and a few sack lunches for my first few days out. In another, much smaller, pouch I found a toothbrush and toothpaste, as well as several pens to go along with the journal. Last, but not least, was a roll of toilet paper that I would most definitely need. I paced the room, trying to think of anything else I needed. Alas, I couldn't consider a thing, but it did burn a lot of time. After pacing for some time, I reclined on my bed and simply waited for dawn. A sleepless night caught up with me at four in the morning and my eyes closed tightly, my body crying out for rest. As it turned out, I had forgotten something. It made sense in some cruel way that, though all my pacing, and the endless ticking and glances at the clock, that it never occurred to me that I had forgotten to set the darn thing. It was late in the morning when habit woke me. My first thoughts cursed myself that I forgotten something so crucial. My next blamed my parents for not waking me also (as it turns out, they forgot to set their alarms as well). I charged into their room practically screaming. There were only four kids in the town qualified for the experiment, and I was going to be the one to miss it! I never got my goodbyes out, telling my parents I'd meet them at the ceremony. With my bag packed and ready and a quick change of clothes, I took off down the road towards Professor Oak's lab, located on the edge of town. I arrived nearly an hour late, and the crowd that had surely been there had nearly left completely and only half a dozen stragglers remained. I didn't wonder why as I threw open the lab's doors and ran inside, sliding to an uneasy stop on the slippery and shining tiled surface. Two of Oak's aides were startled and nearly ran into each other. "Am I too late?" I puffed out, clutching my side where a stitch burned into me. Before either of the aides could reply, an elderly man with a head full of gray hair walked came from around shelf holding many supplies of things I couldn't name. "Well, it's about time!" Oak said, calmly walking over to me with a stern face. "About time for what, sir?" I asked. "I know I'm way late..." I sighed. "You've probably already ran out of Pokemon." I stared at the floor tiles, foolishly realizing it had been stupid to charge here so late for something so exciting. "Well, you are late, but so is somebody else, apparently. I mean, what's with kids these days, I ask you? I ask for three kids to come in one morning to get something very special, and they have the nerve not to show up! Hmmph!" I looked up with a small flame of hope. "Wait, do you mean...?" "Yes, there's only been two kids to show up, and you're the third." I nearly jumped for joy, and my heart did a back flip. "Really, sir? You're not messing with me?" He shook his head. "But, you do know this means you don't get a choice, right?" "I don't care! As long as I get a Pokemon, I won't be picky!" "Well, alright, follow me then." He started for the back of the lab and motioned for me to follow. He led me to a small desk on which sat a single Pokeball. He handed the ball to me. I held it tenderly, feeling it with tears nearly in my eyes. It was only the second time I had held a Pokeball, and it felt great, amazing. The ball was made of two halves, the top half being red and the bottom white. In the center, was a white button that released the Pokemon inside when pressed. It fit in the palm of my hand easily. "Can I release it?" "Yes, you can. So let's see that Pokemon." I held my arm out and pressed the button on the Pokeball gently, only to find it needed a tad bit of force. When pressed, the ball expanded to just over the size of an apple. In my hand it felt sleek and cool. It had been polished that morning and the fluorescent lights overhead shined off it easily. I pressed the button again and the ball opened. A radiant sight of glaring crimson electricity spiraled through the air from the ball, twisting and turning until it touched the ground roughly where I had the ball pointed. The light took shape before my eyes, which were recording every second of the event. The light continued until, only seconds after it began, it was over. My Pokemon stood before me, momentarily confused. The Pokemon was a bipedal lizard with smooth skin colored orange. Its belly was tan. Its hands were small and only had four fingers, one which was similar to a thumb. Its green eyes were fairly distant and its rounded nose stuck out, though only had two slits. Sharp teeth peeked from its mouth. It's tail was long and curved upwards, ending in a bright orange flame that flickered in the listlessly. It was both cute and dangerous looking, to an extent. I dropped to one knee, as it only reached my waist, and held out my free hand hesitantly. I had no idea whether the Pokemon would know if I was its owner or not, so I waited to see what would happen. It sniffed my hand, snapped back. Do I smell? Oak laughed. "Charmander, this is...I'm sorry, what's your name?" "It's Darin, sir. And this is, what did you say, Charmander?" "Yes. Charmander, this is your new trainer, Darin. He should treat you well." Oak looked at me. "You will, I hope?" "Oh, yes, sir, I will. I'll treat him like my best friend. Like a brother, even." "Good. There are some things you need to know, then." I tore my eyes from the lizard to look at the very serious Professor. "Charmander is a fire Pokemon, as you can see by the flaming tail. If its tail's flame goes out, it will die. You cannot let that happen, of course. The flame is resilient, though, so it can survive in water for a short while. Don't take that chance." I nodded. "Got it. Don't let the flame go out." "Second, treat it right. Charmander is a very dangerous Pokemon that only grows bigger and stronger. If it turns on you when it's older, you can only blame yourself. Oh, and be careful of its claws. They're sharp." One of the aides muttered something and rubbed his leg where a deep cut was red and raw. "Do you understand that Pokemon are not creatures, but living beings that understand and have emotions?" "I do, sir." "Good. There are those out there that treat Pokemon like weapons of war, and no good comes of it. Here, take this." Oak handed me something that looked like a thin electronic book "This is a Pokedex. It is a pocket-sized computer of my own design that holds data for all types and species of known Pokemon." I took it eagerly and opened it up, like one would a book. There was a screen inside the cover, and a keyboard and arrow keys on the other side. "It will only show you data on Pokemon you have seen, and then it will only show you so much. If you successfully capture a Pokemon, it will give you more information about how to raise it. Just point it at a new Pokemon that you come across and it will tell you stuff about it." "That's amazing." I closed it and ran a hand down its red cover. "How long did this take to make?" "About forty years to discover the Pokemon myself, but now it's coming faster from people all around the world. That is a Regional Pokedex, however, and only lists the hundred and fifty that are located here in Kanto." "Sir, thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me." "I think I do." There was glimmer in Oak's eye that told me he was reliving his first Pokemon experience. I did not interrupt him, and waited until he came back a moment later. "Is that all, sir?" Oak laughed. I knew he understood. "I see you're eager. I won't keep you waiting. Here are five Pokeballs, I assume you know how to use them. If you don't, just ask look it up in the Pokedex." "Thank you." I was at the door, when I stopped, remembering something. AWait, Professor Oak. Who came by and got a Pokemon?" Oak looked up from the papers he had begun to look over and looked at me. "The first one was an eager boy with black hair that took my Squirtle. The second was a girl with strange pink hair that chose my Bulbasaur." My heart, which had been so happy only moments before, sank. A boy with black hair; I had made it, and so had Ariana, but not Kory. "Oh...thank you, sir." Oak noticed my face. "Relax, Darin. We can't all make it on the first try. You'll learn that soon enough. Just keep on trying, and you're friend will make it." "Yes, sir." I left his lab, disheartened. Outside, the sun was shining above the horizon. I took a look around, not sure of what to do at the crossroads in my heart. I could go back to town and join Kory, learn about my Charmander and stay with them until Kory could get his own Pokemon...which could take a while. Or I could walk out of Pallet Town and keep on going, straight to Viridian City. I could start gathering badges and more Pokemon. I could take a chance to learn and grow some more, or I could try to catch up with Ariana and the other boy, Zack (there had only been four kids, so he was the only one left). I knew it was the right decision, so I led Charmander back to Pallet Town. The orange lizard only hesitated momentarily before following. Along the way we ran into my parents and sister. "Oh," said my mother, falling to her knees to look Charmander in the eyes. A great big smile was on her face. "Aren't you just the cutest thing!" Charmander averted his eyes and pretended to find interest in some grass a little ways off. When my mother attempted to playfully pinch his cheeks, though, the Pokemon grew annoyed. The Pokemon reared back, away from her approaching hand, and jumped forward, slashing with his claws. My mother leapt backwards into my father's arms, her chest heaving and a cry escaping her lips, though more out of surprise than pain; the scratches had not even drawn blood. "Mom!" I yelled and stepped up to her, though I had no clue what I would have done. Charmander took that chance to run off in the direction he had been staring at. My father tried to help my mother to her feet. "Darin, go catch that thing. It's dangerous and won't do running around in the wild!" Realizing I couldn't do much to help my mother, I followed my father's advice and took after Charmander, calling out its name. I pulled the Charmander's pokeball from my belt and clicked it once to make it grow to full size. The Pokemon was the size of a midget, however, and could only get so far before I caught up to it out in a hill-ridden field. He tried desperately to claw up an abrupt rise, but his claws were short and stunted, and his attempts gave him no ground. "Charmander, why would you do that?" I shouted at him, angrily. "She wasn't being hostile! She was playing with you!" As I said it, I remembered Oak's words from just moments ago. My mother hadn't been attacking him; however she had been treating him as one treats a baby. Charmander wasn't a baby, it was a Pokemon, a wild animal that had, at one time, lived and fought in some unknown wilds, possibly far away. He shouldn't be treated like an infant. "It won't happen again," I promised. "Nobody will ever talk to you like that, or treat you like that again, okay?" Charmander turned away from me, crossing his arms irately. It seemed he had picked up something from humans. "I promise," I said, though I had no clue what I would do if somebody did play with him again. Charmander eyed me with cold, considering, green eyes. He faced me and held out one short arm. I took his hand and shook it. The deal had been made. Instead of placing Charmander in his Pokeball, I continued to walk with him. We reached the now-empty road and started back to Pallet Town. The thrill of having a Pokemon was gone, now that my mother had been injured and wandering thoughts of what my father would do to me began to appear. The empty feeling left by the dead thrill was replaced with fear. "Hey, Darin!" Some guy shouted as he ran down the road towards me. I couldn't make him out at first, but soon I recognized Kory in all his shining glory. Why does he look so happy? Kory had just the opposite of black hair, a rare blond hair, approaching platinum, inherited from his long-lost mother. Kory didn't have a Pokemon, as much as it saddened me. He should have, though, instead of Zack, who was, generally, a mean person. "Kory, what are you doing out here?" I asked as he came into earshot. "I wanted to see your Pokemon," he said, catching his breath. "It looks great, like some scary monster. It'll intimidate some Pokemon, for sure." "Yeah, he is pretty scary, I guess." I surveyed Charmander. He did look like he could seriously hurt somebody. He might have at one point, actually. "Oh, man, I can't tell you how long I overslept!" If he had, I wouldn't have believed it, since he yawned a minute later. I noticed he was still in his striped pajamas. There was a messenger back hung over his shoulders. Oh, I get it. He thinks there's still a Pokemon left for him. He thinks he's going. I was sad all over again. "Uh, look, Kory, I have something to tell you." His smile was grand. "Oh, I do too, Darin, but you first." "Well, erm, this Charmander was the last Pokemon Professor Oak had left...there's no more." His smile didn't falter like I thought it would; In fact, I didn't think it could get much wider. "Oh, I know. Now we all have one!" My mouth stopped moving, frozen with a gape. "Wait, what do you mean, we all have one?" "Ariana, Zack, you, and me: We all have Pokemon now!" I counted them on my fingers for him, as it was evident he was confused. "Oak had three Pokemon. Zack got one, then Ariana, and then me; Kory, I'm sorry, but there's not one for you. But, I am going to st-" He cut me off, reaching into his bag. "No, look." He pulled out a Pokeball that was marked with scratches and various damage built from age and use. "When I told my older brother, Mark, that I was late and wouldn't get a Pokemon, since I was so depressed, he gave me his old one! It's not much, and never been used, but it is a Pokemon!" "Mark just gave you a Pokemon?" I asked incredulously. "Well, he said it was because, if I was out of the house, it was one less mouth to help feed." He frowned. "But I wasn't even out of the house when Suzie had pulled out the color chart and started to plan what to do with my room." "Well, it won't matter, will it?" I paused, catching his eyes. "I mean, we both have Pokemon now, we can-" "Wait, what were you about to say earlier? I interrupted you." I looked back in the direction of Oak's lab. "Well, since you didn't have a Pokemon, I was going to stay in Pallet Town until you did, so we could leave together." He looked at me with a great smile. "You are such a great friend." He grabbed me, pulled me under the crook of his arm, and began to give me a great noogie. My frustrated cries of "stop" and "quit it" went unnoticed. Charmander had jumped back into the grass on the side of the road but didn't protect me. I prayed it was because he sensed Kory was a friend Finally, Kory released me. "Well now we don't have to wait, right? We should get a leg up, though. Ariana and Zack are already ahead of us by a few hours. Get your... what did you call it?" "He's a Charmander." "Yeah, your Charmander. Put him up and let's hurry out of this deadbeat down, right?" "Actually, I think he'll do well outside the Pokeball. He seems to like the fresh air." "Hey, Charmander is actually a mouthful. How about giving it a nickname? A lot of people do, to keep from getting their Pokemon confused." "Well, yeah...that sounds like a smart idea." We started down the road, away from Pallet Town, while ideas for names came into my head. It wasn't too long before I came across one I liked. "How about Charcoal?" Kory ran the name over in his head then said it out loud to feel how it ran. He seemed to like it. "Yeah, it's a great name." "How about it, Charmander? What do you think about Charcoal?" Charmander thought over, stroking his chin with a hand. He nodded approvingly. "Charcoal it is, then." I smiled and looked into the distance. "Look out Pokemon, here we come-Charcoal, Darin, and the leader, Kory! Prepare to meet your makers," shouted Kory, breaking ahead in a run. Charcoal found a burst of speed and managed to keep pace, and I was beside him every step we took. As I left Pallet Town behind me, I realized I had forgotten about my parents...but it was too late to turn back, now.
   

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Comments

    Each of these chapters is, at a minimum, twice as long as most stuff I've written before and still, in my opinion, good and does the job. Chapter 1 is the longest, at just over 4500 words. Chapter 2 the shortest, at around 3400. Chapter 3 in the middle at almost 4300.
    Jeez, I had to read this twice. It's qute a tale. The whole thing is excellent, just excellent. It is imaginative and very visual. The pace is almost perfect. I can't see a thing out of place except: ADo you want anything to drink. I didn't get this sentence, Is it a typo or did you leave out a comma?

    The only reason I had trouble with it is that I don't normally read this kind of story. It really is good.
    Ah-ha. Ah-ha. Don you might need to drop your rating...well, you do. This is based off a hit series of children's video games. All I did was make a story to go along in the universe.

    And that typo is what I spent an hour trying to fix. For some reason, every parentheses turned into an "A" and a "@" after being brought over. I had to go through and change every single one...grr.
    All I did was make a story to go along in the universe.

    All? My rating stands.
    Why would you think I wouldn't read it? I'll read it in chapters, as I do all of the long writings here. It will take, maybe a week, because we have a lot of people posting long writings, but I will get it read.
    Okay, I don't know much about Pokemon other than it was pretty popular. This was highly entertaining.

    What happend to Charcoal? Was he healed.?
    Charcoal has to wait until he reaches a town to be completely and professionally helped. After a night's sleep he'll be rested, but not perfect.