Desert

Haiku written by Routh on Tuesday 18, July 2006

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Description
My first attempt at Haiku.

Overall Rating: 92.76%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 92.76% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90.4%
Imagery:92.8%
Spelling & Grammar:100%
Flow/Rhythm:89%
Vocabulary:91.6%
Hot, arid, dry heat. Summers deadly shadow looms. The vulture eats soon.
   

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Comments

    #1

    SeanwhatSeanwhat

    You know, I am getting SO SICK of that fucking vulture, struttin' around like he owns the desert. Feathered asshole...
    Oh, and your Haiku is well done. I very much dig it.
    Commented 06/11/2006 05:08
    #2

    JakeJake

    Nice work. I like haikus. Anything about the desert reminds me of a poem by Stephen Crane, so I'll share it with you right now!

    Stephen Crane:

    In the Desert-

    In the desert
    I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
    Who, squatting upon the ground,
    Held his heart in his hands,
    And ate of it.
    I said, "Is it good, friend?"
    "It is bitter - bitter", he answered,
    "But I like it
    Because it is bitter,
    And because it is my heart."
    Commented 11/12/2006 08:20
    #3

    abigailchildsabigailchilds

    It always amazes me that when you string just the right words together in just the right order you can draw the clearest picture in a persons mind. For you first attempt at haiku (a much braver feet than I willing to take on) you did really well. Keep going you seem to have a real knack for it.
    Commented 28/06/2008 18:39
    #4

    LuzzziferLuzzzifer

    I really like the imaginery in this haiku.

    Almost can see the vulture waiting for its prey to die. Creepy.
    Commented 10/01/2019 21:12