Desert

Haiku written by Routh on Tuesday 18, July 2006

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Description
My first attempt at Haiku.

Overall Rating: 92.76%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 92.76% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90.4%
Imagery:92.8%
Spelling & Grammar:100%
Flow/Rhythm:89%
Vocabulary:91.6%
Hot, arid, dry heat. Summers deadly shadow looms. The vulture eats soon.
   

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Comments

    You know, I am getting SO SICK of that fucking vulture, struttin' around like he owns the desert. Feathered asshole...
    Oh, and your Haiku is well done. I very much dig it.
    Nice work. I like haikus. Anything about the desert reminds me of a poem by Stephen Crane, so I'll share it with you right now!

    Stephen Crane:

    In the Desert-

    In the desert
    I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
    Who, squatting upon the ground,
    Held his heart in his hands,
    And ate of it.
    I said, "Is it good, friend?"
    "It is bitter - bitter", he answered,
    "But I like it
    Because it is bitter,
    And because it is my heart."
    It always amazes me that when you string just the right words together in just the right order you can draw the clearest picture in a persons mind. For you first attempt at haiku (a much braver feet than I willing to take on) you did really well. Keep going you seem to have a real knack for it.