Tortured

Poem written by Pritrostell on Monday 21, June 2010

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Description
Everyone loves a twist...

Overall Rating: 91.72%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 91.72% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:92%
Imagery:91.2%
Spelling & Grammar:94%
Flow/Rhythm:90.6%
Vocabulary:90.8%
Torture's such a brutal thing that people often do; Usually it's information that they want from you. Water boarding, dunking, think of anything you can; These people do it to every single child and woman. The methods that they use are very crude and awfully vile; And yet they do them day to day, always wearing a smile. The children die, the women cry, the men watch in despair; The women next, and then the men; these people have no care. They're like a tribe of cannibals who choose to boil their meat; from the tops of their small heads right down to their small feet. They boil them in oil, it's how their prey meets their demise; Then we all sit and eat them, those delicious deep-fried fries. _______________________________________________________________________________________________ I love doing these little "twisty" poems on the spot. They may not be perfect and ave errors but they're fun and that's all that matters to me with these. Hope you enjoy Smile
   

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Comments

    I must say you are getting better at this. Though I know one person in the den who scared me in his writing but that nothing of your concern, Oh and I believe he was the guy kerri was "Rightfully" angry at, something about women....

    Anyway why french fries?
    My dinner tonight was a large fry and chocolate shake (classic) from McDonalds.

    They made the perfect little twist in my mind Pfft
    Awfully good; old bean...spiffing stuff.
    Very good Pritrosell. But not sure about the last line.

    LOL at Verm

    And Malicepoint - It was about killing a baby and yes, it really annoyed me. He hasn't posted anything else since though, which wasn't what I was trying to do. But I guess if he doesn't have any decent material then it should stay that way. Smile
    I don't know about that last line either. Otherwise a very stark story, well told.
    I liked it! A good one!
    Bizarrely I was thinking about stuff like this t'other day :\

    You know when Bush was on BBC 1 and talking about how water-boarding isn't torture? Well...um that Smile

    The women next, and then the men; these people have no care.
    I don't think it would be done in that order though :/ Unless they're trying to get the guy to talk by hurting his loved ones...
    Also have no care don't seem right. Maybe these people do not care?
    I'll admit I'm terrible at poems so I'm not sure if that breaks some rhythm you've got going o.O

    Then we all sit and eat them, those delicious deep-fried fries.
    I may be reading too much into this but is this line about the American people willingly eating up anything they are told like french fries from Mcdo?

    Anyway it's good just bizarre, in a good way lol Cool