The Teddy-Bears Lament

Poem written by Unseelie_girl on Friday 14, May 2010

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Description
Another poem...any thoughts would be helpful. Ta.

Overall Rating: 93.24%

This writing has been rated by 10 members, resulting in a rating of 93.24% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:94%
Imagery:94.5%
Spelling & Grammar:93.7%
Flow/Rhythm:92.6%
Vocabulary:91.4%
The Teddy-bears Lament Bought solely to guard you, as sweetly you sleep, I watch from your cradle, as silently you weep. Your hand over my body, your breath at my ear, my cotton heart quickens, as you hold me near. As stitches do weaken, and glass eyes they fade, I remain beside you, on the bed where we laid. Your crib has long gone, old toys packed away, but I sleep beside you, aging each day. I feel your heartbeat, though I don't know why, my little blue coat, soaks up the tears you cry. I have watched from a distance, as older you grow, yet you still kiss my head, thinking no one will know. I have soaked up the tears, love has caused you to shed, and waited alone, the night you were wed. So proudly I sat there, as you joined with a grin, hugging me tightly, and flashing your ring. I watched your new husband, beaming with pride, not knowing he would weep to me, on the day that you died. I sat with patience, on the day you were due, but he brought only the baby, and went and left you. He took me and smiled, though soon did it fade, as he curled beside me, on the bed where we laid. I now watch from her cradle, and silently I weep, but forever I will guard her, as so sweetly she sleeps.
   

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Comments

    This is an incredible piece of prose.

    I normally don't read or rate poetry, but I feel that this deserves a mention for the feelings it evokes.

    Beautifully done.
    Very beautiful.
    Simply beautiful!
    Agreed with everyone, b-e-a-utiful
    Lovely!
    Really touching, this is beautiful.
    hey, great yaar....so cute..i mean good and beautiful.. and yaar means friend in my language
    i cryed.
    Great, just great. It reminded me of my 38 year-old daughter who still has her teddy on her bed. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the importance of things when we no longer remember the why, only the what.
    Thank you all for the lovely comments.