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Romance Story written by the_word on Wednesday 21, April %0

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Description
Part or me said this was stupid. another part said so what

Overall Rating: 90.32%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 90.32% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:91%
Imagery:90.4%
Spelling & Grammar:89.2%
Flow/Rhythm:91.6%
Vocabulary:89.4%
"Hey what's up?" "Nothing much." "I've missed you." "I know. How are you?" "Broken." "I'm so sorry." "It's ok I'm human so I break easily." "You've never been broken before." "I never loved before either." "Please do-" "I do, so I have to say it." "I wish you didn't." "What? Have to say it?" "No. Love me." "That's like wishing the sun to die." "If that's what it takes." "Why can't I love you?" "Because I can't love you." "Won't and can't aren't the same thing." "They end up the same." "I guess you're right." "I wish I wasn't it." "Wishing is useless." "So is loving." "Is hate." "Only if it's unjust." "Am I justified to hate you?" ;;. "Since you won't, I mean [i]can't[/i accept my love will you accept my hate?" "Please don't do this." "Why don't you wish it away?" "Please stop." "Why? Did you stop from breaking my heart? Did you stop once to think about how much you meant to me?" "No." "Then why the hell should I stop?" ;; "Because I love you? Well I would say that, but you wished that away." " I'm sorry." "No, you're not sorry. You just feel Bad." "I am Sorry." "Would you do it again?" "What?" "Would you break my heart again?" "I don't know." "You Do know!" "Please stop" "I can't." "Why?" "Because I'm more than smitten with you, because it's more than an infatuation." "I'm sorry." "It's amazing how little that helps." "I have to go." "I guess I can never have you for long. Like a brief breeze on the hottest of days, your passing brings me happiness. Then you leave and I try to hold onto the memory of your cool touch. Then under the sweltering heat of the sun, or in other words life, I die. My only possession is the faded memory of your presence and the clear memory of my feelings the moment you passed." "Goodbye."
   

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5 comments

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  • Vermithrax
    Interesting, and quite original.

    Very well done.
    - April 21 2010 04:19:07
    • savage_cushions
      No, this certainly isnt stupid, it's heartfelt and believable, and I know I am not alone in having had a similar conversation. The response "I know" to the statement "I've missed you" says so much about the feelings of both people.
      - April 21 2010 11:07:09
      • Kerri-Emmitt
        I really liked this. Its very original and I felt every word.
        - April 21 2010 13:47:22
        • kt6550
          This is pretty good. I enjoyed it. Nicely done.
          - April 22 2010 01:52:53
          • Don Roble
            Better than it was the first time I read it. Nice work.
            - April 25 2010 03:12:32