A Dark Sunday Night

Poem written by Mythbhavd on Monday 21, November 2005

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Description
This was written while my fiance and I were going through some troubles

Overall Rating: 94.6%

This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 94.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:93.666666666667%
Imagery:94.333333333333%
Spelling & Grammar:94.5%
Flow/Rhythm:97%
Vocabulary:93.5%
A Dark Sunday Night A brave facade I show my friends My heart's so very cold I laugh and joke and smile with them Inside is pain untold They ask of her and with a smile It hurts to say her name I answer that she's doing fine And burn inside with shame Oh how I miss her loving arms They tell me that they're glad Her smell, her kiss, her love and charm And they envy what I have I close my eyes and see her face And listen as they leave My tears fall softly, my smile erased I fall to my knees I miss her Lord and want her now You hold her in Your hands But to Your will my own shall bow And trust Your holy plan -Matthew M. Coiner ©2005
   

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Comments

    #1

    savage_cushionssavage_cushions

    This is rhythm to dance to !!! Beautiful
    Commented 03/12/2006 00:56
    #2

    afirstcourseafirstcourse

    It's quite comforting to feel outnumbered in eloquence and virtue when you and your loss are perfectly preserved without ears to hear you and to know no other voice could warm your empty nights.
    Commented 03/01/2007 19:16
    #3

    dark_angeldark_angel

    Beautiful rhythm! I also really like how you convey emotion in this poem. You make the reader feel that emotion...and that to me is what poetry is about! Great job!Grin
    Commented 18/01/2007 21:15
    #4

    mooshiezmooshiez

    I loved it. I can totally relate, though it is over between me and my ex fiance......I've come to realize the difference between love and comfort, and faith and trust....if that makes any sence. All in all, it was beautiful. Cheers!!!
    Commented 08/03/2007 20:55
    #5

    JarethJareth

    It has a really interesting flow, and rhythm. A concept that really shows how people act when they're depressed. With and without company. A topic that makes sense. Touchy topics, though.
    Commented 17/05/2007 13:52
    #6

    EveOfRevolutionEveOfRevolution

    this is nice, a little too cliche of a "lost love" poem but it is still a joy to read. i particularly liked the last stanza, that gave the poem its character and its soul. perhaps think about writing with that theme more.
    Commented 21/05/2007 18:36
    #7

    twonitetwonite

    Amazing
    Commented 08/11/2008 20:15