The Curse of Maraqua

Story written by Elkie123 on Thursday 8, April 2010

Member Avatar
Description
I dont mind if its rubbish I was bored!

Overall Rating: 79.6%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 79.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:82.4%
Imagery:75.4%
Spelling & Grammar:82.6%
Flow/Rhythm:78%
Vocabulary:79.6%
Once upon a time a terrible curse consumed the under water kingdom of Maraqua. All of the beautiful residents turned into horrible monsters, once a terrifying Grarrl took over their kingdom; Uni's became a monstrous size and pet-pets grew sharp teeth. They prayed and prayed that a miracle would set them free from this horrible curse but years passed and neither Jetsam nor Flotsam knew what to do! One day when the sky was grey and clouds filled the sky above the water a strange Jub-jub fell into their kingdom and crashed down onto the evil king's throne. "Who dares to enter my palace and try to steal my throne?" "It is I," the stranger said in a deep voice,"I have come to get rid of the foul curse upon this kingdom!" The king was furious and had the Jub-jub sent to the dungeons, where he would stay for the rest of his life. So there he lay with nothing to do but draw on the walls and ...hold on YES, HE HAD IT, he knew how to break out! He took a piece of gum out of his pocket ,on his cloak, and stuck it to the wall. Almost instantly, the gum stretched and the jub-jub was flung through the air and crashed through the iron bars on the window. Luckily, the Jub-jub landed in the Grarrl king's courtyard. He rushed into the castle and sticked a dagger into the kings chest and pulled out his heart . The body fell to the floor but the eyes were open. "I'll be back!" he gasped and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The whole kingdom cheered as they all turned back to their normal selves. The strange Jub-jub was never seen again even though many Maraquanians say that they see him at night triumphantly holding up the evil Grarrl's head.
   

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.

Comments

    Just a small complaint with the lack of paragraphs. Please, if you're going to post, make paragraphs. It makes everyones life - including yours - easier.

    Maybe if you clean it up and put some thought into it you could re-post it. This could be a fun legend-type Smile
    Yeah I think it's an interesting concept. I think if you reworked it a bit then it could be great.
    Happy birthday Elkie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You have a wonderful imagination; please do not stop letting us read these wonderful stories.

    A little short, this one, but still good.
    I could have a lot of fun with this. And I think you could to if you took your time and expanded it a bit!

    Good story!