Economic Anomalies

Rap written by AnEccentricKitty on Saturday 27, March %17

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Description
incomplete; don

Overall Rating: 88.35%

This writing has been rated by 4 members, resulting in a rating of 88.35% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:86%
Imagery:87.75%
Spelling & Grammar:90%
Flow/Rhythm:89.75%
Vocabulary:88.25%
Economic anomalies New York's where I gotta be Livin' the dream, flyin' first rate economy. People in office, knowin next to nothin. Punk ass kids, roamin the streets frontin'. Bound to be chaos if they don't play us, Cuz if they don't freak, then we don't eat and there we are again. Back where we came from. Back in the streets and alleys that we are made from. Sleepin in dumpsters, livin' like a bum. Not even enough energy to make my girl cum. Since nobody knows us then nobody will show us the path to get out of this hole. To stop gettin spit on by fat cat bureaucrats; oil vats and laundromats. Treasure can only be found by those who know where it's at. I'm tellin' ya babe, that ain't me and that's as far as I got...
   

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3 comments

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  • First I'll say it's not my style. But I was actually somewhat interested in it still. Good work.

    To stop gettin spit on by people suckin skoal...

    I would consider re-wording it somehow. I think this line might be causing you a problem.
    - March 27 2010 20:42:56
    • Looking forward to the completed piece.
      - March 28 2010 04:44:27
      • I think this is kind of neat. It's different. It's dark, and down, but of a more defiant nature than most dark poetry I encounter.
        - March 30 2010 00:45:23