The Virtue of Patience

Poem written by Pritrostell on Friday 12, February 2010

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Description
A poem of sorts that i came up with a little while ago. Thought i'd share it with you all.

Overall Rating: 91.133333333333%

This writing has been rated by 6 members, resulting in a rating of 91.133333333333% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:91.333333333333%
Spelling & Grammar:90.5%
Flow/Rhythm:94.333333333333%
Vocabulary:89.5%
The Virtue of Patience
I sit her staring out at it, the massive creaking hinge. A noise that chills you to the bone, and makes your body cringe. With a design so intricate, swirling here and there. It sits there always, silently, without a passing care. A large and mighty metaloid, a jaw just like a shark. And if you don't move fast enough, it's sure to hit it's mark. I'm sitting here so silently, from in this dark abyss. Waiting till i can claim my prize, that tempting piece of swiss.
   

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Comments

    lol, I like it. Creative
    excellent. very...flowy.
    Cool, a mouse-eye view of his world;

    love this.
    Very good.
    Well this was unexpected, very enjoyable, I agree with kwajchristine about the flow aswell.
    Nice! Flow, Rhythm and Rhyme - the essential ingredients
    All of the above with a bucket of "well done" tipped on it.
    Realy enjoyed this.