Revenge (Part 1)

Sci-Fi Story written by ladylunaivy on Wednesday 2, December 2009

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Description
Back story. Merciful death and the revenge that followed.

Overall Rating: 83.3%

This writing has been rated by 2 members, resulting in a rating of 83.3% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:84%
Imagery:83.5%
Spelling & Grammar:82.5%
Flow/Rhythm:83%
Vocabulary:83.5%
It was burned into her mind, branded like a scare from searing iron. The final sunset she would ever gaze upon. It was not that she couldn't physically watch the sun fade in the western horizon, she just could not bring herself to do it. She destroyed everything precious to her in that moment. The thin high clouds in the sky caught the last rays of the sun, casting almost all the western sky in brilliant crimson. The eastern sky, it was already ebony, the clouds blotting out any light that the stars would share. Kasai pushed a lock of long ebony colored hair from her emotionless black eyes, only to have it fall back into its original resting place. "I hope that you can forgive me one day," her voice was deep for a woman but just as cold and empty as her eyes. "The fate I give you here and now will be far more merciful than the one they would have given." A man stood only ten paces away from Kasai in that abandoned lot. He had a hansom face with sharp features, and soft almond shaped eyes that stared at her questioningly. "What has happened?" his voice was thick with concern. "Kuragari knows about you," her voice wavered once, finally showing just the slightest hint of emotion. "... I'm sorry," she whispered as she brought two fingers to her lips. Kissing her fingers, small flickers of red began to burn in her eyes until they were consumed and the darkness replaced with burning coals. In her hair, embers seemed to move about, like the final flames in a dieing fire. Extending her hand out to him, she blew a kiss. As the breath left her lips it erupted into flames. The man had no time to react. He was instantly engulfed in the fire. He let out a scream, twisted in agonizing pain. Kasai watched as he burned. She watched his body twist violently at first, trying desperately to put out the fire. It did not take long for him to drop to the ground, still slightly moving then followed by nothing. She knew he was gone and sat down on the ground, pulling her legs up underneath her. She gulped in a few deep breaths as she controlled all emotions that tried to bubble to the surface. The coals in her eyes became cold and those black eyes returned. She ran her fingers threw her hair extinguishing the few embers that still remained. She sat there on the ground as she let him continue to burn, waiting till nothing was left of him but ash. Her eyes moved to the western horizon as the last light of the day faded into darkness. "Goodbye Dei," she whispered just under her breath. Left in the cold emptiness of the night she was alone with her thoughts. "Kuragari," she muttered in her own mind. "I will not give you such a merciful death."
   

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Comments

    An exciting beginning to what could be a very good tale.
    Forgive my assumption, but this has a slightly Manga feel to it.
    (I'm not the world's biggest Manga fan)
    Can we have some more please?
    well done. Smile
    Awaiting Chapter 2.
    Thanks for the comments. ^^ and ... most likely Vermithrax. i love Manga and anime ... and really I get a lot of my inspiration from the Japaneses culture. ^^ Will try and write as much as possible, but between work and life ... you know not a lot of extra time. blaa ^^
    can well be a sequel for SAMURAI WARRIORS. do u like flowers, oichi?
    Very interesting.