Connor

Story written by nickrip on Wednesday 11, November 2009

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Description
The Devil makes a new bet with God

Overall Rating: 87.8%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 87.8% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:89%
Imagery:91%
Spelling & Grammar:87%
Flow/Rhythm:86%
Vocabulary:86%
It has been thousand of years since the last time the Devil spoke directly with God. Satan wagered that even the holiest of all Gods followers could be converted to darker ways. Job was the wealthiest and most thankful of all Gods living children and the Lords favor was with him. Satan killed his family, put him through immense pain and took everything he had. Jobs worst response was only to curse his own birth and the Lord was pleased in his faithfulness. God had then forbidden any direct harm towards those under his covering;until now. A new breed of man had perverted everything from birth to death. The Devil made another visit into the Lord's presence with several surveying angels. The Lord said to Satan, "Where have you come from?" Satan answered the Lord, "From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it." Then the Lord said to Satan, "Mankind has greatly diluted my teachings. They please only themselves and there is but one soul I can truly rely on. Have you considered my servant Connor? He is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil." "Does Connor fear God for nothing?" Satan Replied. "Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? Even if I took from him everything he would still know that you would advocate him when it was finished. But stretch out your hand and bound his complete soul into my possession and he will surely curse you to your face." The Lord said to Satan, "Very well, then, his spirit will be put into your ownership until I deem this trial futile. You are not bound by any limits but his soul will be mine in the end." Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord. Connor was truly a virtuous and honorable man who strictly followed Gods Word. He committed himself daily to prayer and studying so that his understanding would align with Gods will. Through hard work and Gods blessing Connor had many children and plenty of land to live happily on. Connor and his family dwelt deep in the countryside far from most social influence. A more ideal living could not be found and Connor's family was a very peaceful home. Connor, filled with God's wonderful compassion, overwhelmed his family with love and it grew on every one of them. Connor exclusively loved one of his children greater than any other and it was understood by the rest of the family. Her name was Pumpkin. She had been an extremely chubby baby when she was born and even had a little orange glow to her skin. Pumpkin's face was slightly malformed and her thinking skills were far below par. She was six years old when Connor last talked to her. He was gathering his pack together getting ready to leave for his monthly visit into town. Pumpkin waddled in the room still in her pajamas. The rest of the family was still asleep due to the early time Connor and Pumpkin always woke. "Good morning my precious beauty, did you sleep well Pumpkin?" "Yes Daddy, can I go with you today?" "I would love nothing more than your company on my journey but we both know you get sick easily and I have to make it back before nightfall so none of the food goes bad." "But why can't I go?" "I'm sorry darling but one day you'll understand better. Now give me a hug goodbye." "I Love you Daddy." "I Love you more sweetheart, Goodbye." Connor went quickly. He knew that the sooner he left then the sooner he could return to his wonderful home. Connor hopped onto his white and black spotted mustang and took off. He took a last look before he would bend the curve around the tree line where his house would be cut off from his sight for the rest of the trip. He stopped and thought hard about all God had given him. "Lord, I thank you once again for everything you have blessed me with. I wouldn't change a thing about your awesome plan for me and my family's lives. Thank you God. I will always trust in you." Coincidentally not only was the tree line the last spot Connor would be able to see his house from, it was also just out of earshot for him to hear what happened seconds after his prayer. A red star appeared in the sky and broke into four pieces. It was a tear in dimensions and hell would rain down on the most peaceful home the world now knew. The stars shards were that of demons. Satan had been given a God-given chance and he would take advantage of it at full velocity. Fire enveloped each of the demons as they broke through the atmosphere and strengthened them with the same energy that inflicts us. The devils own Tetragramaton consisted of four of the most tortured demons. They were only released from the depths of hell to carry out the devils worst tasks and they never failed. Each monster had spent thousands of years in hell enduring self-inflicted torture. Even a demons mind goes numb when thrown into the deepest part of hell. There nothing exists but the steep stimulating sensation of pain. The evil spirits fell as fast as meteorites but landed in a swiftness that made them slide instead of collide with the Earth. Without wasting a moment the impatient devils tore through the home devouring everything Connor loved. The events are unknown and the only evidence was in the rotting corpses Connor would find the next day. Connor rounded the same bending tree line with great hope of seeing little pumpkin waiting for him in the front doorway. The first thing he saw was his oldest son. On top of his home was his nation's flag pole that had been ripped out of the ground only to display a body. There was a piercing silence that slowly started to build in his head. The barn was missing? No, it lay there in scattered ash as if it had been burned weeks ago. As he approached the front door he noticed long claw marks that had been used to rip it from its hinges and toss it to where it now lay sixty feet from the house. He looked up shaking in disbelief as he noticed his son's body was not only displayed but his arms were where his legs had been and vice-versa. He screamed at the realization that the face his son now bore in terror was due to the delegging he had received while he was still alive. An uncontrollable grimace wrapped his face and his blood pressure rocketed nearly causing him to black out. He stumbled through the frame of his breached home and found his wife. Her face was more distorted than their son's and the rest of her body looked like tar from being burnt to nothing. This broke the man where he fell to his knees and let his head slam into the wall. He wept blurting out only "No." First as a whisper until he started saying it faster and louder into a yell where his whole body convulsed at the terror he beheld. Connor couldn't understand why or how any of this had happened but he knew then that his entire family had been erased. He had six children all together and he found each one more brutally molested than the last. Then he found Pumpkins room. The sweetest and most innocent thing Connor thought could ever exist had not been tortured. Leading to her doorway were giant footprints that even left an imprint from the concrete he could see out the back door from where he stood. Her door was always open and had not been touched. His body shook uncontrollably as he gazed upon the mess the monster had made when it stepped on her small body. The growing piercing silence had become so loud that it felt like an explosion had gone off right next to both his ears and with that Connor dropped to the floor dead. Connor was not given one second to recuperate. Satan had brought his entire body and soul into hell and intended to squeeze every ounce of faith out it. The Devil would mark this day down as one of his greatest. It is not difficult to begin torture. The usual difficulty is in keeping the victim alive, but this problem is erased when the victim is already dead. Lucifer began by draining all the blood out of his body from his neck. He then connected his heart to a pump where it would keep the rhythm needed to make him conscious, or at least aware of his pain. Connor's shock in all of this erased any thoughts of mourning his family. Simply his brain could not register everything that was coming down on him at once. For the next year Connor was kept in constant pain and his mind seemed gone. The Devil then dropped him into a complete darkness where he would let him build on his hate. Connor held no hate and was finally given the chance to weep. Crying when your eyes have been gouged out stings at first but the release is worth the unnoticed pain. Connors body was beyond battered and soreness ached in every area. Connor finally had time to mourn his beloved family and he prayed to God that they hadn't received the same punishment that he had. He cried out to the darkness in words that were unknown to him. He had forgotten his tongue had been taken also.
   

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Comments

    A strange tale.
    A good concept tho.
    hmm...nice use of imagery. well done! liked it