Impulse-Chapter 8

Sci-Fi Story written by blue_veined_hatred on Thursday 3, September 2009

Member Avatar
Description
Mind reading goes on, and reveals even more disturbing truth

Overall Rating: 89.6%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 89.6% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:92%
Imagery:89.8%
Spelling & Grammar:86.4%
Flow/Rhythm:92.4%
Vocabulary:87.4%
IMPORTANT NOTE: Nick here can read thoughts. The thoughts he reads are in italics. Please proceed. Chapter 8 THE BARGAINING 'Hello there!' Nick stood up, 'I am Nicolas Bartlet. Pleased to meet you.' 'Shunshuke Takahara,' said the Asian man as he took the hand Nick offered. Though his face, just like his crisp accent, did not give away anything, Nick could read peak level amazement in him. 'This is Mark....I forgot your surname,' Nick gestured at his father. 'Spencers,' chewed Mark, not amused by his son's sarcasm. Nick waved for the waiter this time, who wasted no time in fetching a chair and placing it behind Takahara. 'Thank you.......and I know a lot about Mr. Spencers here,' said Takahara as he sat down,' you too Mr. Bartlet.' 'I am flattered!' Nick said amiably, much to his father's disapproval, 'urmm;.. What brings you to us, Mr. Takahara?' As if you don't know! 'I am actually here with a proposal,' the smile on Takahara's lips never faded,' well, it's more of a...ummm..' '....an order,' Nick's voice got stern as he read Takahara's mind. 'That's;; a way to look at it. Or an obligation perhaps?' Takahara's smile widened so much that his smooth skin looked like a balloon skin held under tension. Nick eyed his father. He did not need mind reading(like he could!) to know that he was seething below the surface. 'We're listening.'
   

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.

Comments

    has some itty bitty errors....but Japanese Intel? I had some guesses initially but now u've lost me...the CIA might not be far away!
    don't take too long to post the other chapters. not that i m urging u to hurry... but i m growing mighty impatient!
    Once again, a great chapter my friend. Your narrative is getting better with each posting.
    This one seems a bit more polished than the rest but retained your obvious enthusiasm. Excellent!!!
    im speechless.. seriously.. haha.. like what i always say.. your chapters are really getting better. suspense is in the air. lol
    Keep it coming.
    Your writing is definitely getting better as you gain experience.
    Reading this was easier, than some of the earlier chapters.
    A slight clean-up, and that's all that is needed.