Make Up Your Minds

Poem written by Routh on Monday 18, February %4

Member Avatar
Description
A poem written to vent frustration about friends coming to me with problems only they can solve. Meant to deliver a strong message.

Overall Rating: 92.2%

This writing has been rated by 3 members, resulting in a rating of 92.2% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:92.666666666667%
Imagery:90%
Spelling & Grammar:93.333333333333%
Flow/Rhythm:92.333333333333%
Vocabulary:92.666666666667%
My mother raised me To be be a good soul Treat women gentle And act like they're gold But lately I been thinking If it's really worth it all 'Cause ask me who I'm going with And I'll say no one at all Women come to me When they want to complain About their jerk off of a man Who treats love like a game And then they have the nerve To look me in the eye And ask me where the sweet guys are And then they run and cry Well lately I've been trying To keep bitterness away But I feel I'm losing the battle More and more every day This growing bitterness inside me Is a direct result Of seeing assholes with someone While I'm a lonely dolt If I let it all take over And became a piece of shit Then would you love me Is that really it? Or is it maybe that you are Not mature enough to see That you see a sweet guy every time You take a look at me It would be so easy For me to turn mean I could be the biggest asshole That you've ever seen No one seems to appreciate How hard and long I've kept All the feelings inside of me Neatly cleaned and swept My life has not been easy I've got my share of lemons and limes Seen all that TV shit for real Been beat a thousand times No one seems to appreciate How hard I try to please While inside I feel empty Like crying on my knees So all you ladies who have called Someone asshole a thousand times Is that what you want or someone "sweet" MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MINDS!
   

Rate This Submission

Please take the time to rate this writing once you have read it. Our ratings system allows people to know both how popular the writing is, and how well the general populous of the site thinks it is written. This also allows the writer to have feedback about their writing, so they know if they need to improve their technique, or if they're on the right track.

The system allows you to vote on several aspects on the writing. Refer to the help text below each aspect for an explanation. Consider the different aspects carefully, and submit your vote using this form. It will be instantly weighted with the other votes given.


Depending on the writing type, give your opinion on the overall plot if it is a story, or the concept of the writing if it is abstract such as a poem. Does it seem to make sense, strike a chord with you or seem a well chosen concept? Did the author stick to the concept or did they change mid-thought?
Did the author use words and descriptions that allowed you to visualize the scenes portrayed in the writing? Did the feelings of the work stir your emotions as you read it?
Were the words spelled correctly? Was proper punctuation and grammar used? Could you easily understand sentences or did you have to re-read lines several times to understand what was meant?
Depending on the writing type, how did the writing flow? If it's a story, did it have a smooth, easy to follow flow? Did the flow of events make sense? If it's poetry, did the author stick with the syllable flow for that writing type? Did the lines rhyme properly if a rhyming device was used?
Did the author use the same words over and over or did they use a broad vocabulary to get their exact point across? Could better wording be chosen then what they have used?

5 comments

Leave a Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.
  • Nice poem- though maybe you need to read through it, I think your missing a word halfway through.
    "If let it all take over" ?
    I don't understand how girls can go out with guys that they know'll just end up hurting them. I am content with waiting. And I know if I ever complained about a boy to my guy buddies they'd scream in my face to just fucking dump him then. ^_~ Awesome buddies.
    *frown* I wish I could rhyme. *slinks off* Can't rhyme worth crap...
    - November 23 2006 11:47:53
    • Wow - you know you're the first one to notice that in 10 years? I wrote this poem when I started this site when I was 15.. and I never noticed that. Haha..

      I've been thinking about going over this poem, some parts of it bother me now that I'm older, but it was a 'written out of anger' work. Took me a whole 15 mins to write it down, it just came from no where and found it's way onto paper through my pen.
      - November 26 2006 15:11:28
      • i like it.. i can relate very much
        - December 01 2006 01:28:59
        • I can dig it.
          - December 09 2006 06:46:05
          • I'd put the apostophe from "cause" in front of the "c". I can relate to this poem in some regards, and definitely in the sense that I see this kind of thing happen a lot to other friends of mine.
            - December 11 2006 08:24:32