To My True Love...

Poem written by Routh on Monday 18, February 2002

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Description
A poem written for a loved one.

Overall Rating: 75.538461538462%

This writing has been rated by 13 members, resulting in a rating of 75.538461538462% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:78.846153846154%
Imagery:81.615384615385%
Spelling & Grammar:74.153846153846%
Flow/Rhythm:74.153846153846%
Vocabulary:68.923076923077%
Holding you is incredible Kissing you is a dream You are the most beautiful Thing I've ever seen Your freckles are so tiny Your eyes blue as a lake And when I see you smile It's the icing on the cake I'm afraid to show you too much love And at the same time not enough Cause too much love can smother And too little is pretty rough To find a perfect balance is A struggle inside of me And so I search high and low To find the perfect key And when I search I tend to stare And I get your what's and why's Just know these words are how I feel When I look into your eyes
   

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Comments

    "I'm afraid to show you too much love, And at the same time not enough" good line i think a lot of people can relate to that.
    A lovely poem, however can I make 2 rather pedantic observations...I think the line " and when I see you smile, it's the icing on the cake" would flow better with the insertion of the word "like" ie: "and when I see you smile, it's like the icing on the cake". Also...dream doesnt rhyme with seen.Grin
    great poem. I think that almost all people who have experienced love could relateSmile
    "Your freckles are so tiny" i like this line - its the details that make love so massive
    Nicely done. However, a bit mushy for my taste.Smile
    Though I don't consider "lovely" a "proper bloke's" word, in the case of your poem I'll make an exception.
    And get to know you're what's and why's". Love this line. very nice.
    Nice verse Smile
    Maybe you should break this up into stanzas, because the rhyme scheme is evident here.
    I really like how simple and true this feels. It emanates more love, in my opinion, than a good deal of the more "flowery" love poetry.
    This has an easy flow to it. Guess i'm a sucker for those. I can really imagine you staring at her and struggling to express your affection. So that was good.
    Like most rhyming poems though, making the rhymes seem natural can be a struggle... i think the "what's and why's" line was really reaching for a rhyme.
    Thanks for sharing. Also i'm brand new, so i'll allow that this may be terrible feedback.