The Riverside

Story written by Dnavarre on Wednesday 1, July 2009

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Description
on this riverside

Overall Rating: 93.16%

This writing has been rated by 5 members, resulting in a rating of 93.16% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:93.4%
Imagery:93.6%
Spelling & Grammar:94%
Flow/Rhythm:90.8%
Vocabulary:94%
Evergreens swayed in the soft wind that originated from the northern mountains of Endspeak. A river choked with fall leaves, orange fading brown, fed them and moved with haste. The water that shone like diamonds in the partly clouded sun was cold as the snow melt that birthed it. Unpicked fruits fell, rotting off their mother trees. A young couple, kisses in the breeze, began to eat the sad food. Beautiful brown hair was partly lifted in the melodious air as the young female pranced through the horned bushes with speed, not stopping to pull the points from her pale dressings. A boy with bronze hair followed, deliberately giving her the race's win. Joyous laughter through full mouths added the perfect innocence to the tranquil forest. The laughter froze like the river did not a mile upstream. The fruits fell to the earth a second time. The boy stepped in front of his girl protectively and shied her back with whispers not to look. They turned and fled from the woman's body swaying like the trees.
   

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Comments

    Very well done! Good job!
    This got my attention. Very nicely written.
    lovely and disturbing, perfect length, I didnt expect it to end like that!