Thye best of friends

Fantasy written by studentsofenglish on Thursday 25, June 2009

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Description
By Miluska Pintado

Overall Rating: 76%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 76% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:80%
Spelling & Grammar:70%
Flow/Rhythm:70%
Vocabulary:70%
*THE BEST OF FRIENDS There was once a poor woodcutter named Peter who lived in a cottage near a forest. His first wife, who had died, he left two beautiful children: Kevin and Michael. Good honest father worked from dawn to dusk to bring food to their ultimate misfortune occurred familia.Para one years of bad luck. Crops were lost and it was impossible to find work in any pain parte.Con looked soon to be missing bread at home, where it was decided to call some of his best friends, Jaime, who lived in the city, so that will support them ... while Peter was waiting for the answer to his childhood friend ... One of the many nights in this idea and tormented while awaiting the arrival of his great friend James told his wife: Mary What do we do to feed my poor children? Look! The woman answered, "Tomorrow at dawn to drive the most dangerous part of the forest, they say that they feel the tree and wait for our return, when we have completed the work of the day, but we will not find them. So stop being a problem for us. -No! - Exclaimed Peter (the woodcutter)-I will not do that! Would not have the courage to leave my children in the forest at the mercy of the danger. Mary the wife insisted on his reasons, that man just gave. But children Kevin and Michael, tormented by hunger, they were awake and heard everything. -! We lost, "said Michael breaking to mourn. -Don 't be scared, "said the brother, Kevin; cononosco half to save. Rose from bed, dressed, opened the door without making noise and left the house. In light of the moon shone like silver stones. kevin is full of pockets and return them to the room, walk to spots. -Do not be afraid, "said Kevin, his little sister, I have found what sought. morning the mother (Mary) went to wake them and told them: Come-up! We go to the forest, take a piece of bread each, but do not eat our food will be a vez.Esto and snack. Kevin gave her a piece Mchael, to be saved, but he does not fit in their pockets because they were full of stones ... Kevin and Michael were not only brothers but also great friends to share their worst moments. Peter's father Kevin, I ask you: What happens now you kevin? you, who are always ahead of us now step back. It's that I look back, "answered the child to see my white kitten that I said goodbye from the door of our house. Fool! "Said the mother (Mary),some sweety, after that kevin walked delayed not to see as going to the ground by throwing the stones that kept in his pocket. When they reached the most dangerous in the forest, the stepmother said to the children: Stay there for collecting wood. Mary came with potato kevin, that going to break down an oak a bit far from there, returned at dusk to collect and return home together. Kevin and Michael, to be left alone sat under a tree when depronto found a cute little dog that was very close to them, to view the very left, decided to take along with them. Upon arriving the night Kevin and Michael waited for their parents but never appeared, Michael began to mourn, but the tenderness of the dog that encourage tranquilizarce ... Michael was taken love the animal and with his brother Kevin decided to call Nanny -... the dog was very smart so close to the brothers returned to their waiting parents. After that. Less noise to be frightened that some ferocious animal that will eat them. But still! Kevin said ... when we will see the moon, we will go. Came the full moon light forest, Kevin grabbed his sister's hand and looking the way. A the moonlight that the little stones on the road had left the ground and sparkled in precious stones ... and walked all night. they Were found at dawn in front of the door of her house and knocked and opened his father Peter (father) ... to see them again, could not contain the tears and cries of joy. Mary the mother seems happy to see that they found the road. After that evil and terrible time for Peter and his son, started to find a way to help his father ... The next day a man of charity and good person approached them it was Jaime, friend of children ... Peter, Peter to see his friend after many years, and was glad it was received with open arms .. . At that time Peter, he present to their children to Jaime then they began to remember the beautiful and wonderful experiences that they lived when they were small ... and followed that comversacion very enjoyable. Peter began to talk with Jaime about his economic situation at that time, he felt a little embarrassed with Jaime ... for (Peter) was not very easy talk about the situation in which they lived with their children, but James knew very attentive listening. there is when Jaime was saddened and very much regrets what happened to his friend then I try to help with employment and economic, but he was taken to the city that was where James lived accept ... then Peter very happy ... but before that Mary did not want his wife found out because he had noticed she gave him no support, nor any affection for their young sons. After all that time so happy for Peter, stay with jaime at a trial to make his wife. Then he decided not to comment anything about this to Mary ,he talked to his friend James, he wanted to see how they act in these hard times and stay with his best friend Jaime found in the city. After that long comversation with Jaime ... Peter decided to test the woman who chose her for his wife ... It was then he became the morning to get up early as usual. When his wife rose early said, is needed again to the children into the woods. Peter against his will consented children ... also heard at this time, they knew that his father pretended ...the night started and the children were in the woods alone again, small to see that nobody went to look for them, but walked aimlessly Jaime's best friend of her father, and knew everything that happen with them ... went looking and found them very close to a tree ... Jaime said: By God!; Children are well? Kevin and Michael will be delighted to see it and embraced it ... because in those times they were very frightened to see that his father never showed up, thought they could have passed the worst. Jaime took the boys to her house while trying to communicate with Peter and the children in that very moment he thanked James for being such a good time with them and suffered with his father. James, after many attempts to contact Peter did not get anything, and did not know what to do in these moments so very worried about what was happening with his best friend remained with the small. After what happened ... Jaime was very pleased and happy to find and care for the children of his great friend Peter spent the day in line. The next day, Jaime was already worried for Peter ... come to the cabin door ... ...Blow and no one has opened, let stranger! - Jaime said, can not be forgotten that is what we talked about, he wondered again Jaime ... He thought that Peter had forgotten his children ... and maybe fled with his wife, then decided to return to the city, along with small triztemente but did not want to give bad news and get so ... so come home soon: Papa reached soon, the children said Jaime, Michael and Kevin was not happy but at least we believe in James, because to them he was their father too. The passing day ... when suddenly knocked on the door ... (jaime house) ... he opened and was his best friend Peter ... Peter crying and hug you asked to see his children, Kevin and Michael heard his father, ran to see him and hold him very strong, they missed that Fac. .After that, Peter described all what happened and it never came as he had stayed with Jaime ... what happened after that Peter very grateful to Jaime care for their children and realize that having had a bad woman ... with all that Peter realized something: In life are great friends in the good and bad times! And so the step of this sad experience to peter ... In addition to its unmatched Jaime friend came forward and their children lived happily. *The End*
   

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Comments

    A nice story. I think the writer needs to study a bit more English and then do a rewrite. There are some Spanish words stuck in the narrative. Also, there are some very awkward phrasings. A good first effort, however.