Sweet memories

Romance Story written by studentsofenglish on Wednesday 17, June 2009

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esl student Ana Paula Solorzado

Overall Rating: 90%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 90% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:90%
Spelling & Grammar:90%
Flow/Rhythm:90%
Vocabulary:90%
Chapter 1: Welcome: Is cloudy and I was only looking through my window the rain that fell on that gray November afternoon. I was in an unknown city, cold, and looking sad, as it seemed not very often that the sun came out. A city, in which I did not want to be, because I missed my home and I had no friends, no boyfriend, no nothing. It is as if everything started again and I knew that a new story had started but in one part I was wrong because I though that my time in that strange city would be very boring and no fun. It all started when I went to the conservatory which was not far from my new house. My mother had enrolled me in singing lessons (something I had dreamed of since age 13) and I was supposed to be happy, but was not, because I didn't had reasons to smile. Well continuing the story I was ready to take singing lessons but I felt very uncomfortable. The time comes. I was there in the middle of the aisle of that huge conservatory, wearing a black jacket with the slipper up that looked great with my white skin and my dark brown hair came up to me half of my back. Some wore down jeans and my favorite pair of boots. I was there, looking for the classroom that was C-3, until I found it. The Room was painted with a cream color with millions of colorful posters and very inspiring phrases, those that make you think. I felt nervous, my hands sweating and terrified me the idea to enter and tripping. Calm! - I told myself and I entered to the classroom. When I did it nobody look at me (which I thought was excellent) and I sat in the fourth seat next to the window, I had 5 minutes in advance, until the bell rang. I saw the other guys entered to the class talking and laughing. I stayed quiet on the seat, trying not to notice that I wanted to run away. The class started and the teacher came. He was not so high, little fat, little hair, wore a very old-fashioned glasses and wearing a ridiculous tie that can not be combined with the green shirt he had. His name Mr. Rodriguez, who gave us a very friendly greetings and God! He had to say: "Please, the new students raise the hand". No one raises his hand, except me. Mr. Rodriguez asked me to put up and asked my name with curiosity. With trembling voice I answered - Katarina Katarina ... Blake. Welcome, Miss Blake was a pleasure to have you in this class - he said smiling. Chapter 2: A pair of eyes on me: While Mr. Rodriguez spoke a bit of music theory; I realized that someone was watching me. When I turned to see who it was, I found the eyes of a boy whose name was Steve Swan. A tall boy, with brown hair and beautiful pair of gray eyes. He was wearing a red t-shirt with a blue jacket that made him look very good. The truth was that I felt very attracted by this strange boy and I think I also like him. At the end of the class, while I put my things in my backpack, I saw the shadow of someone behind me, when I turned, he was there, Steve. -Hi - very manly voice said. I know you are new in this city because the other day I saw your van comes with your stuff to your new home. I live near, we are neighbors. Oh, sorry. Let me introduce myself. My name is Steve. -Hello Steve "" I answered. I am Katarina, I have just moved. -And tell me, do you like your new city? "" asked me hoping I would reply: "I love it." I would have preferred not to ask that, but he did so I answered with the truth. -Well, I do not know here. There are many things that I miss and I don't know anyone here. -And I? Now you know me and we will make great friends. He smiled without thinking and we walked together to my home. We went all the way talking silly things. What kind of music do you like? Do you have a boyfriend? What do you enjoy doing in your free time? What is your favorite author?, were some of the questions that were around in our conversation. That afternoon was the best that I had in that cold city. I could stop thinking of that boy and I really wanted to see my new friend Steve tomorrow. At least, I know that tomorrow, He will come to see me to go together to the conservatory and even though I had not heard to sing, I could imagine his sweet voice. The next day, he was there, standing on the corner where people took the bus to go to the city center, we are not going there because the conservatory was 3 blocks from where we lived. We arrived at the classroom and he sat with me, which was excellent to me because that morning we had to work in pairs. Mr. Rodriguez said that after practicing this theory, we would do something different and I became very nervous when he said: "we will do something different." What would we do? Until finally, after the practice said, "Well young people, as I said, today we will do something different and distinct theory leave a little aside and use it for singing." - He said that everybody have to sing? "" I Asked Steve and he answered with up and down his shoulders. Mr. Rodriguez asked for silence, because the all the student had started to talk. What we do today is to classify their voices. To do that you have to sing a short song "" He told us. - Oh nooooo...! "" I Exclaimed. - Is there a problem Miss Blake? - Wonder with his eyes on fire. -No - answer by moving me head. -Because you have no problem, you'll start the activity "" said to me -But ... "" I said. - No, Mrs. Blake, so please go ahead and sing your song. I saw him very angry. I did not know which song to sing and I was upset and nervous as all expected me to sing. Chapter 3: Saved by Nausea: While I was there in front of all my colleagues, I saw Steve told me something like: "Come on, you can, Katarina. Show us who you are." The point was that I was not ready. I was standing, without ideas, without a song in mind. Suddenly I felt that everything moved around me and I started to feel dizzy. At that time my stomach sent a fax to my brain. The message: Nausea. I went out and ran to the bathroom ... (You know what happened). While I was locked in the bathroom, I heard the footsteps of the teacher who was knocking the bathroom's door and saying: "Miss Blake, please leave immediately the bathroom. -"I feel bad. I just throw up the egg of my breakfast - trying to give a convincing answer, since there was no breakfast egg decomposed. Well I hope you quit there and return to the classroom to take you to the infirmary. - Yes, Mr. Rodriguez. Give me a minute! When I left the bathroom, I had red eyes and tears. I had the bitter taste in my mouth and throat all sore. I washed my face and hold my hair with a ribbon. I had to return to the classroom, as Mr. Rodriguez said. Upon entering I felt like the first day of classes, but the good news was that, Steve was there waiting for me. At the time I sat, Steve looked at me very worried. - What happened to you? He asked me. "Nothing, well, what happens is that I felt a little dizzy, I think it was because of the egg of my breakfast-I went back to lying, . ... Oh now I understand - answered with a tone of distrust with my answer. Suddenly the teacher asked Steve to show me the room nursing. Together we went to that place that smelled like a hospital. I sat in a big armchair and he repeated my action. - Are you sure that it happened because of breakfast? - He asked me with those intense eyes. - Yes ... well not exactly. What happens is that when I'm too nervous, I start to feel dizzy and the only way out is to escape "" I told him. - I knew it. Something told me that it was not because of the breakfast. Pretty girl, you have to loose those fears because you are here to sing and to show what you do - he said taking my hand. I could not believe it, He said: Pretty girl (although that was 17) and he took my hand. I needed to know that all this was not a dream. Chapter 4 : Let's run: The next day, the classes were suspended at the conservatory and this may be the last time I would go to that place. It had been raining since the previous day, therefore, classes were canceled and I would spend alone all this afternoon at home because my mom had gone to see the divorce proceedings and the agreement of the visits. Suddenly the phone rang. -Hello - I said. -Hello Katarina, I'm Steve - answered cheerfully. - Hi, How are you? - Ask astonished by his call. Well, calling to see if you could come to my house to watch a movie. - Sure, I will go in a moment. - I hope that. I'll waiting for you "" said. I hung up the phone and I went to my room and take a jacket, I brush my teeth, comb my hair a little and left my bike at the home of Steve. When I look at the outside, it was raining and there was much wind. I was riding my bike and saw a black car with the lights blinding me, and then I lost the control of the bike to finally fall on the pavement and hit my arm hard and my head. Suddenly, Steve was there, when I lift the eyes he asked me a lot of things that I could not answer because I was dizzy. - Pretty girl, Are you okay? What happened to you? Let me help you okay? "" He asked. -No, nothing happened, but I have a sore in my arm. -Come on "" he said. Come to my house so you can relax. - Well "" I said. We went to his house, which was very big and white. Also the house had a beautiful pink rose garden, which as he said, his mother had planted. In his house, I sat in a chair and he went to;well I didn't know where he was. After a few minutes, he returned with a white box that had a red cross named First-aid kit. He carefully opened the box and he began to talk about his first aid course. Just when he finished, we heard that a motorcycle was approaching the house. -How nice that you only hurt your arm. - Yes, I was pretty lucky "" I said ironically and we laughed together. - You know pretty girl, I would have gone crazy if something else happened to you- he said while I felt embarrassed. -Thank you - I told him. - Do not worry pretty Just when it was over, we heard that a motorcycle was approaching the house. - Shit! My brother is coming on that motorcycle - he said worried. Katarina, is better that he did not see you here, because he will start to bother you, come follow me - and we went to the bathroom that was next to the door. In the bathroom, we were both scared. -katarina, my brother is my opposite. It is rude and only played with girls. If he see you here, it could be dangerous. It's better that he think that the house is lonely. Suddenly I saw a big spider behind me -Ayyyy;- I screamed (I have phobia) -Shh ... - Steve said. He could hear us. And yes! He heard me. -Steve, are you in the bathroom? - Said his brother. We stayed silent, while he asked again. -Hey, Steve "" said knocking the bathroom's door. - Rob, here I am. If you want you can go sleep. "" Steve answered very nervous. -Steve, jaja ... out of there, I brought some beer, come together to take them and then call some girls "" Rob said. - Do not Rob. Can you go and stop bothering? - Okay man, quiet. "" He said and went to the chicken. -quiet, everything works out. Trust me - he said looking at me in the eye and took my hand tenderly. - Sure, but How can I go home with your brother here? -Let me think ... - he said putting his hands in his head. - I got - he said. He opened the bathroom's door and he said: -Rob, can you bring me toilet paper in the bathroom upstairs? I ate something that makes me feel bad and there's no more toilet paper. -Jaja - laughed hard. Well brother, I'll go see. Silently and trying to listen to the noises that Rob make, Steve opened the door and I began to leave behind him very calm without making noise. -Hurry up, pretty girl - I said as I walked it faster I could. Just when he began open the main door, Rob saw us. -Run- Steve said. I obeyed and I start running so scared. When I arrived to my house I sat in the sofa. My heart beat very fast. Suddenly I ask where my bike is. But that did not matter. Chapter 5: Good bye: After about 5 minutes, the phone rang. It was my mom Hello, my love. How are you? Mom said. - Hello ""I answered with no interest. - I have good news; do not have to stay in this city. We could return home to see your friends. - What! - Scream. Mom you can not do this. I first come here and them you said that I had to leave it. It is not fair, why do you do that with me. You treat me like a toy - angry reply. - Daughter, it is not. You have to understand that it is not too complicated, but we must to return we need to agree in court how many days your dad could visit you. Well I already decided it. Tomorrow we leave. - I can anymore- I said angry and hung up the phone. I forget the pain of my arm and I sat again in the sofa. Then I remembered what had happened at the home of Steve and I call him - Hello? - Said. - Hello, I am, Katarina. What happened? - Just do not worry, everything is explained - I am glad that everything is okay. Steve I returned home. - What? "" He said without understanding. - I'll back to my city. - Why? I do not understand. - It is no my decision. My parents want to leave here and go back. - You know pretty girl, I'm going to miss you. When do you go? - Tomorrow- I answered. - Well. Can you go out with me;to walk in the park and eat ice cream....? What do you think? "" He said. - Well, okay. Come to see me tomorrow at 4 PM because I will traveled at 10 PM - Okay. See you tomorrow. Take care. Chapter 6: Sweet memories: Mama packed her things and I packed my things. I told her I would go out at 4 PM with a friend but she didn't say anything. It was 4 PM and Steve was there. A fantastic guy that I had ever met and I won't see him again. -Hello - said. Are we going? - Yeah, right. We went to a beautiful place; we had fun, we play between the trees. After we sat on the grass and we watched the sky. We began to form shapes with the clouds. That was the best afternoon of my life. - Katarina, I want to give you something before you will go - he told me. - What? - Ask and began to approach me and gave me a kiss. The sweetest kiss of my life. Then, he took my hand and gave me a necklace that had a heart. - is yours, Katarina, this necklace is because I don't want you forget me. You are the most important person in my life and I very sad because you have to return to your city. If you will stay here forever, I will ask you to be my girlfriend. But you will leave me. All this time, you were my best friend, we've done so many things together, so many foolish things that I will never forget because all those things are in my mind. - Steve, trust me, I'm going to miss you very much. You're my best friend and the love of my life. These were the best moments of my life. - I just want you to remember me as I do. He took my hand, hug me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and left me at the door of my house. Then, he went to his house. That was the last time I saw Steve Swam, the boy who stole part of my heart, he was my first love and my best friend. Five years have passed after that time. Only one year, we had had contact by letters. After that moment, I knew that he became an artist. I continued studying music and then I had my first album called: "Looking at you". I'll never forget him and, whenever I look at the sky, I see a star beside the moon. He told me before leaving. You are the moon and I'm the star that I will always be by your side.
   

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    A nice story. There is some very good humor present. I don't know if that was intended or not, but it works well. Especially the part about the brain sending a fax to the stomach.