A Phase in my life
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Throughout my life I have been suffering but nowadays I'm feeling like breaking things. My depression is of heights. I'm so worried all the time that I'm not able to do anything properly. I used to read a lot but now nothing. All the time I'm thinking of getting a job and doing things related to it.
I'm crying for no reason. I'm shouting for no reason. My bouts of crying and anger are of its heights in the evening when the day ends and nothing fruitful with regard to work has happened.
I'm expecting things to happen and it's not happening. I would like to be glued into tv but even that is not possible nowadays as my brother occupies it. The thought of how I'm going to survive is killing me. I'm not able to relax and enjoy this inactiveness. If I go out and come I'm feeling refresh and those are the days I'm able to do something constructive. But, when I go out, I'm being made to spend and that stops me from going out.
I like to sleep and am sleeping most often. These are all signs of depression. When I send a mail to guruji, he say's that I should have listened to him and married that unec. I don't want another responsibility of caring another person. It's enough I have my daughter.
I'm thinking of my daughter all the time and am sick with worry. Actually, I've become sick. I'm suffering from rheumatism but that can be cured through yoga. When I think of that, today, a man called and wanted to know how I'm doing my yoga training to corporate. He wanted to get some idea which he asked indirectly. I too gave it but later became angry on that man for his cunningness. I hate such characters. I was not in good frame of mind so I gave in. All these silly things makes me angry.