Torn to Nothing

Poem written by Dnavarre on Friday 28, November 2008

Member Avatar
Description
the first poem I had written in about 8 months. Dont rate

Overall Rating: 90%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 90% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:90%
Imagery:90%
Spelling & Grammar:90%
Flow/Rhythm:90%
Vocabulary:90%
Used in this demanding world, torn from these dead memories, my heart barely beats, My body barely breathes. All of this was torn to nothing, but I have to make it something, with the heart that barely sings, with the life that barely thinks for itself. However can I hold on, however can I hold on, to something that doesn't, hold on to me? This empty house, it feels so wrong, like the voice without the song, like the memories that are forgotten, torn and shattered in my mind...(forgotten, forgotten) Missing your love is not a deadly sin, but this battle I know I can't win, this god has forsaken me, this heart you've stole from me has been beaten and bruised, all thanks to you (beaten and bruised, all thanks to you) However can I hold on, however can I hold on, to something that doesn't, hold on to me? (hold on to me)
   

Post Comment

Please Login to Post a Comment.

Comments

    #1

    MythbhavdMythbhavd

    This reads like lyrics to a song. Have you composed music to it or did you write it to an existing song?
    Commented 22/05/2009 06:31
    #2

    suicidenotersuicidenoter

    Dark, very well written. I love this piece.
    Commented 05/03/2010 13:19
    #3

    DnavarreDnavarre

    Yo, no writing is perfect.
    Commented 06/03/2010 04:12
    #4

    Saad El-AshaSaad El-Asha

    I should hear it with music. If Kirk Hammett got into it, I think it would be a vintage Metallica.
    Commented 09/03/2010 00:33
    #5

    PaigeTurnerPaigeTurner

    I like it and can relate.
    Commented 02/04/2010 02:50
    #6

    ozcartheninja00ozcartheninja00

    i love the last stanza or w/e its called; wish i thought of that haha
    excellent
    Commented 17/05/2010 05:49
    #7

    Invisible HeroineInvisible Heroine

    I love this sooo much!!!
    Commented 23/12/2010 06:17
    #8

    NicoleSlendidNicoleSlendid

    Fourth stanza=magical. I absolutely love this.

    -Nicole
    Commented 13/03/2011 03:15