The Love

Poem written by Dnavarre on Friday 28, November 2008

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Description
funny poem

Overall Rating: 94.2%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 94.2% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:95%
Imagery:97%
Spelling & Grammar:93%
Flow/Rhythm:94%
Vocabulary:92%
Her lips blazed softly, brushing into his, his heart beat rapidly, feeling what she did. The couch was comfy, but the bed was better, being teased so much, he reached to take off his sweater. She followed his movement, unbuttoning her shirt, his chest tightened, she was such a dirty flirt. breathing life into her ear she dropped her blouse, his uneven breathing echoed through the empty house. her hands drooped down, and she hid a smile, her teasing game was so very vile. She danced around, to no music at all, with empty lungs, he began to fall. she draped over him, lingering on his lips, then with a smile, she swung her hips. His pants came down, his briefs remained, was he still here, or going insane? She pushed against him, he felt her curves, he felt like a car crash, just before the swerve. Teasing still, she started to see, he had enough, and lifted his knee. She took off his remaining clothes, she bent forward, and kissed beneath his nose. She pushed onto him, and heard him gasp, the night went on, and it became a gasp. Tired and sweating, she finally stopped, because in the doorway, her husband gawped.
   

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Comments

    I rarely rate poetry, because I feel that I do not have enough experience within this medium.
    However, I have to say that I loved the imagery here, and the ending is brilliant.
    Well done.