Burn

Poem written by MadeNew on Thursday 20, November 2008

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Description
Love brought me here. Love changed me. And in the end, it killed me.

Overall Rating: 96.4%

This writing has been rated by 1 members, resulting in a rating of 96.4% overall. Below is a breakdown of these results:

Concept/Plot:95%
Imagery:99%
Spelling & Grammar:90%
Flow/Rhythm:100%
Vocabulary:98%
Beating heart is muting The screaming all around. Blood pounding in my ears Silences all the sound. I can't see the danger, Only the scarlet blood. It flows from his form In a crimson flood. The spinning, whirling dark Threatens me again. It may take my life, But if he lives, I win. My hands are supernatural As they pull him away. But for every miracle, A price must be paid. This price is very high, But the reward is great. Maybe I was meant to die - Maybe this is fate. It doesn't really matter - It's not a conscious choice. I block out all fear, And every yelling voice. He's too important for Me to let him die. I mute the voice inside my head Hissing, crying, "Why?" There's an easy answer - I love him, you see. It's a choice - his life or mine? I'd never choose me. So as the swirling flames Strangle my breath, I sigh in contentment - I prevented his death. Now, he can live - That's all I need to know. "I love you," I whisper, And then...I let go.
   

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Comments

    Man, I really hope you're a girl. Lol. In the first group, it says "silcnces all the sound." I think it needs an apostrophe. Nice, short poem.
    Thanks very much! And yes, I am a girl.