Ha! If I was doing this I'd be sweating through the whole thing, not just the valves. I can't forget (because my daughter won't let me) the sink she meant to save if only she could remove the faucet. I can do that says dad. The crack splitting the sink apart appeared two seconds later.
This was so much fun to read. On this piece, like so many here, I dread saying anything. It seems like the ultimate conceit. But here goes though I'm feeling sheepish about it. Perhaps there are too many ewes, I mean 'you's. For example, maybe drop the 'If you are wearing a nice shirt' and just go with 'By the time you are done the nice shirt will be an old, messed-up shirt' You've already referenced the idea of wearing it in the previous sentence. On the other hand, maybe it helps convey how ludicrous it is by emphasizing the 'you' doing it.

That was so pleasant and fun to read. Thanks for that. Whoever it is intended for, he or she is quite lucky. Anyway, I suspect you put a lot of work into it, so maybe some English corrections would be wanted. (On the other hand, written in 2017, you may fairly see these comments as pointless) The trouble with English is that it is a language that bobbled and cobbled itself down through a giant pachinko machine of history. What you get makes absolutely no sense. An English teacher was telling her student about irregular plurals. She asked him for the plural of leaf. He spelled T R E E. Smart kid. Anyway, the plural of life is lives; 'est' words are superlatives, so you don't need 'most'. It's like good, better, best. Better is good, but the best is better. Stuff that makes your head hurt. 'Troublous' is not a word. But I love it. It's so much better than the real word 'troublesome'. 'guaranty' is always a noun. It's a synonym for 'guarantee'. Which can be used as a verb. Which is what you want here. Like I said. English is stupid. I hope the life envisioned in these vows is still yours. You deserve it.

Ahggh! Settle down. It's just keratin.
I'm kidding. The whole article was delightful. How'm I sposed to say anything beyond that?? Maybe keep an eye on the rascal. We need someone to take up your talents in future.

What a nice tone poem about the struggles between the heart and the head. The heart has reasons. Etc. It's hard to comply with the instruction to provide constructive suggestions when I really wouldn't change anything. Keep that in mind with these dumb comments:
'Cut them off' probably ties to the first verb 'tried' but visually it connects to realize...which is more brutal than I think you meant. In desperation one might try to clip the butterfly's wings, but hardly expect it to chop off its own.
'Because there would not be any good' seems awkward. Maybe, 'Because nothing good will come of it' But it makes the point just the way it is. So never mind.
There. I've done my job. Now follow your heart and ignore it.

Man, what a great captured miniature from another culture. Thank you so much. Every culture has such complexity. Teeming with tropes and styles and mores. Seen from outside one has absolutely no idea. To be able to portray the fine hairs, the thin threads, the subdued colors...you have a great gift. To put aside one's own culture, to see it, to read it, to appreciate it...aye, there's the rub.

There's optical illusions where you look at it for a while and it appears to be something other than what you first saw. I can read this poem and see someone who was hurt. And then read it over and see a psychopath. I definitely did not like it. I'm just not comfortable with scary ambiguities. Admittedly my problem, not yours.

I don't know if I should say you write like you cook or you cook like you write. Anyway...tasty!

Very well done. Stellar metaphor. It’s one of the three curses of writing—The Block, not being able to write, The Insight, knowing what you just wrote is drek, and the Pan, reading that what you wrote is drek. Anyway, you’ve broken free of all three of ‘em. Nice going.

Nice sweet story. I don't have any real suggestions. But here's some things that might be useful. If not, just ignore them. So re-doing the first paragraph might be: "Squinting, Oliver looked out along the narrow asphalt street glinting in the torrid sun’s glare. Stepping off his white porch he felt the heat emanating from the ground. Dressed only in pajamas and shoeless in his haste, he yelped at the shock of the sun-roasted pavement on his bare feet." In other words, trim off the stuff that's not needed. Streets almost always go left and right. Sunlight on a hot day always comes from above. He felt the heat not just almost felt it. etc.

That was just incredible. memento mori. Good wishes from the dark ages. Occasionally means much more than 'G'day mate!' What you say of people is a painful truth. Each person's heart is like the burning bush. The closer you get to it, you realize you are standing on holy ground. You put off your shoes and approach reverently. It's very hard to do. And having done it, even harder to stay. And those who were approached and then abandoned find that life gets even darker. 'Hang on, it gets better' is really a joke. So what do we do? Give that joke a graveyard chuckle and keep plodding. It could get better. It could get worse. Either way, it will be. Memento mori.

Oh spot on! So true. Would I lie? Anyway, it was all so concise, so evocative of the everyday lies that flow through our culture that both sustain us and amuse us and provide our daily shot of lethe. The squirrel image was just perfect. The best lies are the whoppers deliberately told to children who will invariably call them out with bursts of laughter and rudeness. They always give me a moment of playtime before I must re-enter the insanity and cruelty and ignorance of this mendacious world.

I admire the portrayal of a woman finding the courage to reclaim her life. Repeatedly running to a place where she could catch one breath until a kick from her child turns her to a place of certain change. Not being a fan of melodrama I am not suited to criticize the style. So, I'll just offer some small technical stuff. There's no hyphen in midnight...but maybe it was a clever way to imply 'middle of the night'. You write, "I’m not being persuaded." and may have meant "I’m not being pursued" Or not. Maybe her fear has not persuaded her to stay in bed. "waiting to break though ready to cry again" Probably meant 'through' not 'though'. Or it could mean 'however stifled still ready to feel, to cry again.' " I whisper of life lifted through me" probably "A whisper..."

Wow. This was a challenge. Clearly on its surface, the story needs a whole lotta grammatical clean up. But there are such subtle possibilities in the story. Is this teary woman real? Or a projection of the listener? The other spooky one didn't hit me until I got to the end. So this girl feels destroyed by the betrayal...and is smiling. At the end she names herself KARMA. I put those two pieces together and thought this does not bode well for the betrayer. Anyway, I don't know whether or not you want to get better at grammar. You certainly could. But your story works just the way it is. You and James Joyce.

It's different.

A very tasty read! Made me smile.

I like it. Lovely description of the mind wandering when trying to write.

Well, that was a very good Okay Boomer poem. I appreciate the optimism at the end, however unlikely. But whether we see better or worse and whether old or young, it's best to not go gently.

Quite a morality play. Fairly out of touch with the real nature of addiction, but obviously that wasn't the aim. The combination of the man's self-loathing and fury at his accusers was unsettling. Surely the word smithing could be better, yet it was easy to follow. Here's an example, but you will find your own rhythm. 'The busy foot-traffic halts at a park bench where a man lies soaked in vodka and vomit. Paramedics are aggressivly performing CPR hoping to revive him.' I think it communicates better without all the melodrama. But that's just my bias.

Good story. Good heroine. Good set up for the romantic interest. Good set up for the next episode. I think the phrasing might be a little awkward...but maybe that's just a bias of mine. The most interesting things about this story are the instances which seem to be little errors, but might actually be very clever word plays. I thought, at first, you accidentally left out the 'and' from your nod to White in 'the once future queen'. But actually it's a good way to imply her status as a captured political pawn. And I thought, at first, 'private solidarity' was just a clumsy way to say she preferred to keep to herself. But it is a term used in ethics and I think it probably fits her character and her circumstances.

Sweet story. Nice metaphor. Good luck.

Well done Kazuya. Jacob wrestled with God and got his leg broken for it. You have done a great job portraying ones emotional struggle through therapy. Hopefully the day will come to throw Heihachi off the bridge. I loved the word play on content and content. Ganbatte ne.

I like how you pick yourself up.

A very nice read.

How true! One must become the fighter!

Quite nice. Very well written. I would put this under essay.

"Which gave her time to ponder the vast changes of the city. " - You have a couple of sentences like this in here. You may want to fix them.

I thought it was long. You have a good plot, but this could have easily been broken into two chapters. I would have made the break at the point of the attack.

That said, a good story. Please continue.

Something about a griffin's bite comes to mind ...

A good story. Please continue.

"The man looks confused and shakes his head in disbelief as he explains that he hasn’t prepared for any of this in his file that he has just been reading from. " - This is a really bad sentence. You may want to fix it.

"The court he has just been in starts to disappear rapidly through dark cloudy as he tries to shout but can't – " Through a dark cloudy what?

"A busy high street comes to a halt as people surround a park bench in which a man soaked in vodka and vomit lays motionless lies beneath it, 3 paramedics are frantically fighting for the man’s life as they push down on his chest with hopes of reviving him." - Another bad and way-too-long sentence. You can catch these if you read the story aloud, or have a friend read it aloud.

That said, you have a good story with just the right amount of detail. Do a good, hard edit.

Nothing to say about this except absolutely marvelous.

Ow! The story is a page turner. Where is the rest of it?

It is interesting, I am curious about what is going on in the matter of death. That part was a bit confusing, whether Perri died or not.

Hi, Nice poem. . enjoyed the read, just a couple of spelling errors.

Like it, made me smile.

I like it. Written with feeling.

Great work as always Don. I noted some grammatical slips here, mostly due to words missed:

- "She a computer animation that causes the computer geek to salivate." - She's or She is
- "But this babe is great art form." - is a great art form.. is an art form.. this one seems like two thoughts in your mind merged into a broken sentence.. happens to me all the time
- "He wasn’t blindfolded, he was couldn’t tell he could see." - This one seems similar.. maybe you meant "he was so high he couldn't tell he could see" ?
- "Yea, they have it down pat but there a genetic link to this." - there's a genetic link
- "The Irish are well-known as “great liars we are." - the great liars we are
- "Tell a fat girl she’s fat or that there’s lot of her to love?" - there's a lot of here to love, or there's lots of her to love

Quite good. I loved the twist at the end.

This is quite good. Please continue with it.

Oh, wow! Great story. Well done.

"without the vacuum in toe." - I think you mean vacuum in tow here.

You need a good edit. Let me give you an example:

"Callum was my closest cousin growing up as he was a year older than myself"
Consider the reflexive pronoun "myself." You really don't need that here. "older than I" works nicely.

You have a number of places where you could clean things up.

That said, this is a good, dark, and sad tale. It is well thought-out. I would do the needed edits on it and repost.

lmao! Don, how true! True, yet funny! Very good.

Oh, you may want to fix this. Last line, first paragraph.

"He wasn’t blindfolded, he was couldn’t tell he could see."

Oh wow. This is really sad. Nicely written.

Wonderful imagery in this. It is a marvelous little vignette. You could easily expand it.

Nicely done. Sort of a mix of poetry and prose.

A superb posting. Both humorous and informative. Very nicely done!

Really, really descriptive and thought-provoking! Very good. I will look forward to reading more of your work!

Overall I really enjoyed your story. The imagery and flow really worked well and enhanced the themes of the story. It felt emotional and personal all the way through and kept me engaged. I only have one critique of the "flow" of the story right at the end. The narrator starts to go right into the spare room that signifies her desire to end the relationship, but the following lines "To you snoring. To continue my suffocation." indicate the opposite idea and seem contrary to the idea of staying in the spare room. This made me go back and re-read the previous paragraph in order to make sure I had the context correct, which took me out of the story for a moment. Since this happens right at the end before the revelation, it lessens the impact of the ending which is too bad because the ending works well. Maybe I just didn't read it correctly, but it caused some confusion in my mind at a critical moment in the story.

Otherwise I liked it a lot, thanks for sharing!

I really hope this story is not true. But your writing skills are very good.

Felt like I was there, present in your story... Great job.

amazing.

would really appreciate feedback from readers and writers.. this is my first time writing something..

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Honestly.. I've seen stupid UX decisions before but this takes the cake.



Today I learned that that very ambiguous delete button beside a post DOES NOT delete the post.. IT DELETES THE USER.

*slow clap* --- good job PHP-Fusion devs..

Honestly I cannot finish Version 5 fast enough.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Hey folks,

With v5 I am modernizing The Den to bring it up to snuff with the types of sites you use daily nowadays. I have thought of a number features to bring in, and I am wondering...

If you could have anything you wanted in the next version of The Den, what would it be?

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by bbcool36:

Hoping to meet another short story writer. I am pretty new to story writing, looking for someone who could critique stories for me and I could do the same in exchange. The story I have finished is about 8000 words, so it's a little longer. I have another in progress. Just let me know in the thread!!!

Forum: Help and Support

Last post on thread was by Routh:

I have applied a change to fix the file permissions. Avatars can be uploaded again.

I am also closing and locking this thread as it is ancient. Please open new threads if there is nothing withing the last 90 days about an issue, as it is likely far from relevant anymore. The previous instances have nothing to do with each other, nor does this one.

Forum: Help and Support

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Hi @luzzifer - Chapters will be a feature coming back in Version 5, which I am still working on perfecting. I was in version 4 but the implementation was very bad.

What I recommend you do is create a separate story post for each chapter and the same title. This way when someone looks at your profile they'll be able to see the chapters in order thanks to alphanumeric sorting.

Example:

This is My Great Story - Chapter 1

If you have a chapter title you can add it to the description in bold italics or to the top of the chapter body.

When the new version comes out, you'll be able to 'bind' these individual chapters into a novel, poetry book or other book type.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by PseudoScribe:

so don I might not have explained it right but i think i may need ghost artists if such a thing exists. I want to write the story and have illustrations made to compliment it

Forum: Help and Support

Last post on thread was by XxDARKGHOSTZX9:

Sir i had an extremely awful day at that time. My spouse was in the hospital, and my family member passed away and my twin brother passed on all in the same month. I am truly sorry for the way that i acted . I am normally not prone to such reactions. The fault was mine and i responded in anger due to my own circumstances.. I apologize sincerely and will use this site as a means to portray future literary work. As it stands, before i noticed your reply i had already updated one work on my profile earlier today. Please forgive and if there is any format or situation. That i can help with i would be more then happy too.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

With the recent post flood that the site saw, I was made aware of some incorrect expectations of what specific pages are intended to be used for, and reminded of some of the issues on this version of the site.

Firstly, the intended place to see the latest posts is the 'Latest Activity Feed', now featured with the link 'Latest Activity' in the main menu to clarify it's use. This view shows the latest 50 posts or more, and will concatenate multiple posts by one user to a single entry. This is the best and only place you should be using to 'catch up' from your last visit.

The 'Newest' page in the Writings Archive (now renamed to Library) has been renamed to 'Newest to Oldest'. This page is a chronological archive view for searching through all posts by date, and it is not intended for users to use to catch up on posts. As such, post concatenation will never be used here. Not to mention that post concatenation is largely incompatible with pagination, and to try and do both cleanly and without error would make for a very slow page.

Now, on the topic of the post flood, which has been discussed before here. The new version of the site will introduce the Karma system, which will be a point based system that will give users points for commenting, posting forum posts and rating writings, and deduct points for posting writings. New users will start with enough points for 2 posts, and old users will earn a score based on their history. This is intended to solve the biggest issue The Den faces in the 'social' era of the Internet, where users have become rather anti-social and post content expecting comments without participating on the site by doing so themselves. To be clear though, if a user has enough posts to post 30 writings at once, the Karma system will not prevent this, and never will. This will be handled via post concatenation in the feeds, which will prevent other users posts from being pushed off the feeds by mass posting. The Library pages however will never concatenate posts.

Version 5 will also introduce the concept of 'following' a writer. So if you want to ensure you never miss posts by your favourite writers, you will be able to follow them and you will have a dedicated 'following' feed to just these users posts and activity.

Forum: Announcements

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Update:

I stand corrected, gender was part of v4 and not v3, and v3 did allow me to remove birthdate. So that field and all it's data have been removed from user profiles and the database.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Loothier:

About ten, maybe even fifteen years ago, when the Internet was still young, I chanced upon an amateur author's website. I spent many nights reading his stories about the ever-diminishing possibilities of science caused by more-dimensional beings squeezed into our world, and the immortal lady (created accidentally in some scientific experiment) struggling to keep the human race alive through the eons, storing knowledge in the roughest form possible as the universe kept loosing detail. Another story was about superheroes that got exponentially more powerful, and more deranged, each time a new one was turned, and the previous people who tried to stop the next ones. Around the tragic time I lost the bookmark, he was writing about magic (which worked like programming with math inside the mind) used to engineer some parts in a space shuttle that exploded. His website had yellow text on a dark gray blue background, if I remember correctly. He did occasional rant posts on science and programming subjects too.

I would very much like to read those stories again. Does someone on this forum know the author or his website? Or a better place to ask?

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by chancematthews01:

I am a new amateur writer. I have book one already posted. I would really like help with editing. Do a Search for "Chi Warrior Saga - Book 1"

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Phillip Cain:

Hello all. Subject is pretty straight forward. I have been considering a switch in majors at my local community college into creative writing or something close to it (not even fully aware of my options yet to be honest), but I would like to know how it happened for you. Was it an epiphany moment, something you fell into, or something that was always present in you.

edit: it really labels me an ink virgin lol, what a knee slapper

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

Now that's a proper critique and hard, fair and good advice.

The one draw back for me about E-books, Kindle & such is that 'anyone' can publish. For example there's a guy who puts out fabulous, professional covers and calls himself Stephen King. The type face is even similar, very much similar, in-fact. But he is not the Stephen King. a fact that is painfully evident once you start suffering......I mean reading.

There are also some excellent stories and ideas but the writing is not to the standard you would expect.

Forum: Help and Support

Last post on thread was by Kore-rupt Kay-os:

How do I post my writing?

Forum: Help and Support

Last post on thread was by Nurwanti:

I also have the same question, thanks for asking

Forum: Bug Reports and Site Issues

Last post on thread was by Routh:

This should not be an issue anymore.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

This short post has some quick and easy ways to improve your writing.

https://medium.com/an-idea-for-you/the-two-minutes-it-takes-to-read-this-will-improve-your-writing-forever-82a7d01441d1#.vr45txmxo

Forum: Off Topics

Last post on thread was by SirSludge:

It's been years and now it's back
we got the counting in the sack

Now in this fort
there is a court
but you do not sue
because it's 22!
.
.
.
No, that's not right!
The numbers aren't tight
I don't want to be a bore,
but I tell you, it's 54!

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by lichtyd:

I've been writing for several months. Started with fan fiction and have started my own, not very original, story. I'll try to be an active member here, but my writing takes most of my free time. My first story, The Farmer's Daughter, is rather simple and derivative. Heck the title is a cliche. Writing with a familiar plot allows me to focus on grammar, style, dialog and narrative. I like my characters and enjoy putting them into scenes and recording how they react.

lichtyd

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by enchantedpickles:

Is there a certain why to do this or does it matter how your writing style is?

I want to write dialog of someone talking on the phone but my narator can only hear the person she is with and not the person on the phone.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by pappz24:

I am new to writing.I like to pen the stories that come up in my mind but i always find difficult to get the right words.
Could someone please help me with the basics of writing.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by trubolotta:

Just a few suggestions from someone who has done a lot of technical writing but now wants to do SciFi writing.

1. 1. Set up a crib sheet of people (or entities), places and things with descriptions to help you be consistent throughout the story. You don't have to reveal all detail at one time, but being consistent over a period of time helps readers.
2. 2. I write a plot outline and sometimes three, four or five. Some interconnect, some do not. Some I dump and some I polish. It doesn't take long and can be very generalized using your own brand of shorthand.
3. 3. Work your chapters. I'll rewrite, chop and mince a chapter as much as necessary until it reads and fits the way I want it to read and fit. I've even scrapped entire chapters, salvaging only a few good parts and dropping the rest.
4. 4. Ideas sheet - its a document I always keep to paste in ideas I think were good but just in the wrong place in the story.
5. 5. Finally, don't take my word for it. I'm brand new at fiction writing and I'm sure more experienced writers can give you good advice.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

I will hopefully have this implemented before too long along with a new version of the site. It's currently a work in progress, about halfway done.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by flickeringfairy:

There have been some in the past and some that dabble in a little bit of everything.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Demonic:

I'd love to check it out. I'm kind of in the same boat as you, writing a story but don't have all of it worked out yet. I'll have to check out chapter one.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Kholm:

I read once that military folk are somewhere around 90% more likely to smoke then non military. Now don't mistake that for 90% of military people smoke, but there are a lot who do.

Sometimes there is more to smoking than just the physical effects or the buzz it gives you. As military, I can tell you that the social aspect of smoking (at least in military settings) is something that is very important. Its quite a tradeoff, your health for an abundance of rumours and information. The smoke deck is one of the most useful places to obtain information between divisions and get group collaberations.

Non smokers actually look to the smokers to see if they can "get any information on the smokedeck." While much of it is rumor, the senior smokers are pretty good at weeding out nonsense.

Now, enough of the specific social aspect that makes it seem acceptable to me.

Smoking is bad. Bad bad bad bad. There are tons of cancer causing bits, killing you slowly bits, and bits of well smoke. That crap doesnt need to be in your lungs one bit. But hey, its enjoyable to some extent. It does give you a little buzz, and it does fire off little feel goods in your brain. I am no scientest or doctor so I wont pretend to know what does what or why it is addictive.

It can be a money dump, health dump and give you chronically bad breath.

But for every evil, you just have to know how to properly keep yourself. If you smoke, maybe you should make sure to jog every day, brush your teeth twice as long, and eat a bit healthier. I know I do to try and offset the habit. plus I have to be in tip top shape for most of what I do.

Smoking all comes down to where you are, who you are and how you choose to do it. Hell, it might be a cop-out as some people say when life gets a bit too stressful, but here I am in japan, right after a huge mess. I'm alive, and I've been working 14 hours a day to restore power to several buildings, and helping people in wreckage. Its hard, I'm stressed, and I'll be damned if you tell me I can't have a cig.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

Ah, but I'll bet you were only 6 when you invented this word-fuelled Porsche of a site. in many ways, Chris, I liken you to Matthew Broderick in the movie 'War Games'. Y'know, when he hacks the USA's national defence system and gets to ask Stephen Hawking's 'Speak & Spell' for a game of Thermo Nuclear War? No?
Ah, well, maybe there is too much 80's in this reply, even for you.
But, seriously, Chris, a great achievement, my friend: standards high, membership big and not to mention the atmosphere this place generates.
Here's to 19 more.

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by Dcouch87:

I'm sure this is a large response, but I'm new here having just joined. I'd have to agree with the comments I've read however. As you write and go back over things you have previously written, you'll reorganize certain things, edit some things out, and change as you go. Don't worry about surviving chapters early on. Write some, then go back and reread it after a little time. You'll find the appropriate pauses to divide into chapters then. I wrote nearly 15,000 words within 3 chapters. Then when I went back a few days later while typing it from my writing, I realized one chapter could actually be two separate ones.

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by Dcouch87:

So I'm writing a historical fiction that takes place during world war 2. It follows the younger of two brothers throughout the war during his search for his older brother that was shot down over Europe. The younger enlists several months after his older brother, just after pearl harbor. He gets sent to the Pacific where he is wounded, then he volunteers for the rangers after he learns of his brother being a pow. My question is, should I add a love interest in the younger brothers life? I have added a way to do so if I choose to, but not sure how to follow. He has just finished his ranger training and is home on leave before being sent to England.

Forum: Announcements

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Stage 1 of this update, deploying SSL has been completed. All pages should show secure in your browsers and Chrome should report that it is using a "modern cipher suite".

I believe I have found all instances of "mixed insecure content" which usually means an image is being loaded with HTTP instead of HTTPS. I may have missed one or two. Please notify me if you find any by replying to this post.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by msjhord:

My name is Jennifer and I live in the US. I think I have been in love with words since I was a tot, which is probably why I learned to read by age 4. Somewhere around age 8 or 9, my love of writing was awakened and, thanks to writing-happy public schoolteachers, I got plenty of practice in from then on. Fast forward to adulthood -- marriage, parenthood, child with special needs, family crises, family illness, semi-cross country move, blah blah blah. I haven't gotten as much writing practice going on as I used to. I had a brief spate of it a few years ago, but just wasn't in a good place to receive proper criticism, so I put it on hold. Got into other forms of art like painting, jewelry making, fleshing out my cooking skills. Those are going pretty well, but I still have this story in me that I am dying to tell. And maybe it's cliche, maybe it's not. But I want to tell it and tell it RIGHT! I could use some help. So . . . if you could, lemme know if I'm in the right place (I mean, this isn't a forum dedicated to ONLY one genre, right?) and we'll go forth with what's bouncing around in my head. I warn you in advance, though. I'm a little odd, and a little stubborn haha! thanks for the time!!

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

Mr Cushions, please receive my cyber hug along with a massive apology for such a delayed reply.
I myself am fine and hoping that you and yours are in a similar fettle.
Time is a meagre mistress at the moment and, would you believe, I have written nothing (accept cheques) since this post; lots of family stuff going on . My mam, though not ill, isn't in the best of conditions physically and requires a lot more help than just twelve months ago. Stick that in the pot with a new management regime at work, allow to simmer for twelve months and out comes the best time/stress sandwich you could ever hope to feast upon. At last count the number of unpaid, extra, hours I have bagged at my place of employ totals three weeks. Blimey, with 21 days of uninterrupted writing I could have finished 'the herrings' and cornered the weird/slightly uncomfortable comedy market.
But enough that, onward and upwards as pompous, upper class knobs like to say.
Many thanks for your response to my "Sir Terry" post. I really was gutted at his passing. But since we have our very own 'Savage Pratchet' here on the den, his style (unwittingly echoed by your talented self) shall live on.
As for the election, you were right, Mr Cushions. the herrings were secreting a few creative juices. However, I have been unable to absorb and act upon them because of said time constraints. having said that David Macaroon has enjoyed a few scribbled notes upon the back of work memos and wage slips. Though I call him David Car Moron, since he obviously a cap driver since we never see him........driving.
Blimey, this is the longest time I've spent on the den all year.
Merry Christmas, savage. I hope you and yours have an excellent one and enjoy a fantastic new year.

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by only71stitches:

I'm very new to writing and I didn't do so well in English and Grammar back in my school days... LOL

I have a question that I have not found an actual answer for... Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this...

My character's inner thoughts... I write them initialized... I get that... But when it's a question, what the right format?

Example:

How am I alive? he wonders.
How am I alive? He Wonders.
How am I alive, he wonders?

What's the right way to type that?

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by hobie roberts:

hey so i got an idea for a short story series and i kinda need help with like cover designs and stuff. my idea is for it to be a zombie book, but like through the zombies eyes, ive been thinking about it for a while and finally got some ideas for the actual plot of it, if any one would like to help with it ill give you my Skype, mostly i really need some one who can draw zombies pretty good for a cover of it, ill be printing it at my sisters work and making like short story's, plus my local book store said if they like it they can start to maby promote it there, ill also have it online to.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Found this on Google+ today. Its worth reading and putting into practice.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by mcglone:

Because I started off here and have deep respect for this website, I am writing this here.

I have finished my book (finally) but I need an outside view to check if everything is up to scratch. This only just dawned on me when I set my book up on Amazon as a pre-order title.

So, if anyone is willing to help I'd be greatful and I will even give you a complimentary copy of the the final book!

I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here.

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by mcglone:

Because I started off here and have deep respect for this website, I am writing this here.

I have finished my book (finally) but I need an outside view to check if everything is up to scratch. This only just dawned on me when I set my book up on Amazon as a pre-order title.

So, if anyone is willing to help I'd be greatful and I will even give you a complimentary copy of the the final book!

I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here.

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by Routh:

Heads up for those of you publishing to Amazon. Amazon is looking to change their pay model so you only get paid for pages read.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology...-read.html

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by LawMatheson:

(DOSCO Spoiler Warning) I have been doing my research, it doesn't seem like there is much venue for GOOD gay literature (other than whiny 'coming out' stories from New York Times Best Sellers, where that is the ONLY focus of the novel), so I have been talking to some friends (other gay writers) from Brazil and Spain, both friends of mine. Together, we are thinking of banding together, gathering our friends/family/followers into one web site, offering things the other gay publishing house websites don't offer (I drew up a 30 page business proposal yesterday, so I have the research), market in three languages, sell in three countries (and help one another out shipping the others books when it is cheaper for them), and use the website as a platform to blast our books. We could then branch out to other gay writers from around the world, and publish for them if they are in a 'closed' country and they can't.

Does anyone have any advice on this? This is a large dream of mine, one I am just discovering, but one that is coming together. Advice and criticism is always helpful (just know that 'impossible' is my fuel).

I'm a dreamer; Even if I die with unfulfilled dreams, I will know I have done everything I could to chase after them; Rather than live 'comfortably' suppressing those aspirations.

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by Vollkrasser:

Hi,

I made a script/plot for new cases in the traditional style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle"™s stories of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. That script is the basis for a non-commercial online adventure game version.

The first previews of the game are"¦

...here in video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGY4thv8wG0

...here pics with the final lightning, scroll down in the forum, the last post on page 1 forum

...here is the first scene playable online (graphics there are just placeholdeers and will be replaced):
http://textadventures.co.uk/games/vie...n-of-sheba

The game ought to be in British English, best would be the old Victorian style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I"™m not a native English speaker, and it would be a sacrilege to have even the slightest foreign accent for this. That would be German in my case, which is reserved for the villains already ;-)

So I"™m looking for a writer, who would like to take part in this project for free as I also do.
The workflow would be that he/she starts from my bad English script and writes a nice round story out of it that can then be the novel part of the adventure. Think of it as a bit like Dr. Watson did with the bare facts of Holmes: he made entertaining and exciting stories out of it. It would be similar with our cooperation for the adventure.

Best would be if the writer speaks a bit german, but it"™s not a must.
The final game will be free and online playable by everybody even without registration on the above platform.

The game is afoot!

If youre interested, just contact me via e-mail, which is described in 2 parts (to avoid-auto spam crawlers):
the first part is
reinarassa
the second part is
@googlemail.com
combine the two and you have the valid e-mail.

Best regards from germany/Bavaria!

Vollkrasser

Forum: The Editor's Desk

Last post on thread was by Routh:

This latest question should be posted into a new topic. Please use one thread per topic. Multiple topics in one thread is too difficult for people to follow and destroys a thread.

Forum: Bug Reports and Site Issues

Last post on thread was by Routh:

NovaCops writing has been fixed.

Thats all the reported work for now, please report any others.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by EvilUncleEarnie:

Thanks again for the suggestions... I have written poems and short stories, but something this involved is a challenge. Thanks again...

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by LawMatheson:

I get what you mean when you say you get caught up in a story, for me, it's almost like 'The DOSCO Files' are writing themselves. I have One chapter posted here, but I have three books worth of material. I am just going back and smoothing things out. I am struggling with word count and pages in a chapter, so this post was helpful.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by pirate60:

lol.

Forum: Storyteller's Fire

Last post on thread was by blue_veined_hatred:

I was busy doing the usual, laying back inside my cruiser and helping myself to more doughnuts every now and then, with an eye on the street. For most of the cops back at the station passing the night in a cruiser is something they would skip as often as they can manage. I was not most of the cops. Most of the cops do not have a marriage on the verge of dissolving into the most sour taste.
Rankton was as quite at that hour of the night. Quite enough for the rapidly approaching engine noise of a car revving up the road. I tossed back the half eaten doughnut into it's box and fumbled up to a feasible position.
I hardly recognized the brand of the car which fleetingly shot past the street but I clearly recognized the situation: a speeding case deep at night. This mght range from some adventure hungry delinquent to some high profile hit and run. Just at that moment, my radio cackled out:
"All units in the vicinity. A possible hit and run suspect has been seen going East found down Rosewood Boulevard. Suspect is driving a black Classic Ford Mustang. Requesting reports on visual."
"This is Z3005.I have a visual of a possible suspect. On pursuit."
I turned on the ignition and the on the lights, wailed the siren and zoomed out of the alley. Tonight is going to be a bumpy.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

It has been pointed out on a few occasions that summer is slow, and it's true.

I'm not getting a lot of time to visit at the moment either (though I wish it was because I was strolling & having fun outdoors, rather than being hemmed in at work; the holiday season, eh?).

kt, without disparaging Verm, Kerri & co I would say that you are the den's most consistent & revered critic. A 'good one' from yourself is an all day high. But the den without kt (at least in my time here) is akin to tea without water.

Looking forward to the resolution of your posting troubles.

Forum: General Discussion

Last post on thread was by tjwell01:

I agree e-publishing is tricky--I was just pointing out the cool feature about the site. Plus, I'm always on the look out for the new writing community.

Forum: Suggestions and Feature Requests

Last post on thread was by flickeringfairy:

I was wondering if it would be possible to not only search for type, but order them as well. In other words search "Poems" and then order from newest to oldest.

Just a thought,
FlickeringFairy

Forum: Poet's Corner

Last post on thread was by tjwell01:

Poetry becomes a different animal when read aloud. It takes shape and new meaning before your eyes. SAY IT!