Very good poem here. I really like the timing and pace.

Well, it is very short. However, it seems as if it begging to make it longer. Why not do so?

You have some mixed tenses in here. You need to clean that up. On the plus, very good imagery.

<3

Indeed, man.

Okay, a few things.
You have a good plot here. You could very easily expand and develop this. Nice job.

Now, the issues.
You need to format this. It makes it much easier to read.
You have some run-on sentences. Edit them and trim them.
You have mixed tenses. Pick a tense and stick to it.

Oh wow. This is really dark and really scary. Nice job.

Now the bad side. You need a bit of formatting on this.

Superb. Sadly, I fear, only a dream.

Perhaps, not so much a poem as a prayer?

Very nice.

Naaah. <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/grin.svg' alt='Grin'>

"As the enemy captain road away ..." this should be "rode away" You have several examples of this in this posting.

Try some formatting and double-spacing. It is easier to read and easier for the eyes.
Also, you could easily break this into two or three chapters. Give that a thought.

A good story, it just needs a bit of cleaning.

Very nice.
It could use some formatting.

Or maybe you are a devout bachelor because you have felt the pain of heartache? Just a thought.

Very nice, because it is very true.

lol Very good Don. But you left one out.
Those guys a prodigious consumers of cocaine. So, maybe you could go into sales.

Very good. Nicely done. However, I think of this more as a poem then prose.

Superb! A wonderfully entertaining poem.

I like this. Very thought-provoking. Well done.

Beautiful.

A filmmaker and a philosopher. <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/smile.svg' alt='Smile'>

<3

Thank you, Kt, and welcome back!

<3

Are you too old for this shit?

Okay, I like the flow. But the meaning escapes me. Who are, or what is, Bresson and al-Tawhidi?

Good point here. Well worth discussing. But not by me. <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/cool.svg' alt='Cool'>

Very nice. A quite good piece of fantasy.

Wonderful. Amazing, sometimes, what you discover when you lose a loved one.

lmao! Very good, Don!
Oh, good to have you back.

Same comments as before. You need to edit, and you need to take some time to structure you plot.

Let's see.... You have an island in a lake, then Paris, then the tropics, and finally Rio. You are bouncing all over the place here. You need to fix it.

See my previous comment.
Also, you move too quickly with the plot. You need to slow down a bit and let things develop.

You need a good proofreading. Something here tells me that English is not your first language. That is why you need an editor.

Now, to the plot. I want to see where this goes. Please continue.

Okay, coming along nicely. You need a spellcheck on this one.
And still no cows grazing for milk! <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/cool.svg' alt='Cool'>

What a marvelous observation on the human experience!

This is interesting, but there are some issues.
The use of spoken slang adds a lot to the story, but you have way to much. You can trim it a bit.
You also need to break up the paragraphs. As Don said, you have a wall of words.

"Dairies of Selena" a dairy is a farm, where one raised cows for there milk. I have seen no mention of cows or farms in the last two stories. <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/smile.svg' alt='Smile'>
Perhaps you should change the title to "Diaries of Selena."

"Started to read it out loud. My voice was echoing through my thoughts in my head. " - The first part of this is an incomplete sentence. You need to fix things like this.

Will this be continued?

This is interesting. I want to see where it goes.
You have some rough sentence structure and paragraph structure. I would look to that.

<3

This ended strongly. Well done.

This was an entertaining read. Thoroughly enjoyed!

The end of this is strong, especialy the final two sentences. Thanks for sharing.

You make an excellent comment on your writing. Well done.

<img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/grin.svg' alt='Grin'> Nicely done, Don.

Cowardice? I think not. Practical would be the word I would use.

lol Very good Dan. I would not want to live like that, though. The heat would drive me nuts.

I like this. A quite true observation. You celebrate the small, day-to-day victories.

It does the trick, Kt. <img class='smiley' style='width:20px;height:20px;' src='../images/smiley/grin.svg' alt='Grin'>

I'm just trying not to overwhelm readers with how much I've got done. Also thank you for the website I have it bookmarked now.

I wish it were mine. It's moodyt's