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A feed of the latest writings posted to The Den.

Member Avatar Type: Sci-Fi Story
A man with an angry heart finds himself in a place where angry hearts are Illegal.
Member Avatar Type: Fantasy
So tried to expand on the short story Home coming.
Member Avatar Type: Poem
...
Member Avatar Type: Story
Revised chapter. Jakob Okker, son of Nathan has school problems. After being expelled for chronic truancy he is transferred to a remedial program at a downtown high school.
Member Avatar Type: Horror story
A man seeks to find clues about several disappearances in a remote area. He finds them.
Member Avatar Type: Essay
A bored superhero
Member Avatar Type: Fantasy
A short story on home coming. It has been 3 years since I have written anything other than academic papers so bare with me.
Member Avatar Type: Poem
...
Member Avatar Type: Fantasy
Macralor returns to Vectis

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  • Black
  • Member Avatar Type: Story
    I've been trying to write this story for years now, but I never seem to find the time due to academics. There is something seriously wrong with the way I write; I am never able to build a proper narrative despite having the full plot in mind. The writing looks very bland. Someone else told me that the writing just looks like a lot of facts have been stated one after the other, and it's not interesting to read at all. How can I improve my writing? I don't feel like posting the rest of the story unless I am able to fix my style of writing.
    Member Avatar Type: Horror story
    A man seeks to find clues about several disappearances in a remote area. He finds them.
    Member Avatar Type: Fantasy
    First chapter of my first attempt at a fantasy story. Grateful for any feedback. A young prince investigates reports of animal attacks in a small village
    Member Avatar Type: Horror story
    A man seeks to find clues about several disappearances in a remote area. He finds them.
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    A thanksgiving postponed
    Member Avatar Type: Horror story
    A man seeks to find clues about several disappearances in a remote area. He finds them.
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    Swimming in the river as a boy

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  • A winning attitude
  • Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A story in poetic form inspired by the song 'Wildfire' by Michael Martin Murphy
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    A rainy bike ride in the forest.
    Read

    Love

    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A poem that explores our definition of love and the boundaries that come with it.
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    A day with my children at the fountain
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    I’m no mind reader. I’m no psych. But what I can tell you is a story.
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    The memory of my old school returns

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  • Clear mornings
  • Member Avatar Type: Poem
    fiddling while rome burns
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    ...
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A little something I think people need to know regarding people going through depression.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    ...

  • Additional Posts
  • Origins
  • Member Avatar Type: Poem
    The surreal events we now face with this pandemic.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A poem about being in the closet.
    Read

    Hurt

    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    Some thoughts I've had when feeling low.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    Continuation of Songbird
    Member Avatar Type: Essay
    Remember when
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    A different take.
    Member Avatar Type: Essay
    A lesson learned
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    An amateur poem about the state of American politics.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    Overcoming depression
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    Clowns
    Member Avatar Type: Fan Fiction
    An Army vet must come to grips with his past
    Member Avatar Type: Sci-Fi Story
    Post Apocalyptic story in future setting, after a full scale nuclear war. Chapter 1 takes place in a bunker, generations after the war.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    The end of a really good night
    Member Avatar Type: Rap
    ...
    Member Avatar Type: Prose
    About how emptiness is only ended by self-creation
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    KOKI

    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A POEM ABOUT HOW TO PREPARE A PANCAKE LOVED BY PARTICULAR COMMUNITY

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  • BUILDING BRIDGES
  • Member Avatar Type: Story
    I wrote this last year and surprised myself. Two girls in the woods.
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A poem about depression
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    Sort of a free verse. Hope you like it! :)
    Member Avatar Type: Stage Play
    It's a load of shit! Read it if y'want!
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A poem to express finding one’s true self
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A short poem...hope you like it :)
    Member Avatar Type: Story
    Description of a shift at store, shit jokes included
    Member Avatar Type: Poem
    A poem on the transience of life

    A feed of the latest comments on The Den.

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    Haha, yeh was the same way when I started out writing.
    Don't have to pay people to do it Pfft

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    Hello, Rain Rider. Smile

    What I wanted to say was that Buśkán served in the provincial congress for fifteen years and two years later he participated in the elections for the planetary congress. He relinquished his seat in the provincial congress in 7313.

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    Thank you for that. Yeah I'm not very good at proof reading, I go over it multiple times thinking everything is good and then everyone tells me it's all wrong lol. I'm thinking about paying someone later to proofread it for me. I'm about half way through the next chapter and should have it up soon. Smile

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    Ah, Cheers. Corrected it Smile

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    A good chapter. Please continue.

    kt6550 commented on Black

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    Lovely! Very well done!

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    Well, now, here is the thing. You have a huge backstory, and I mean HUGE! I would really trim that, or, and I really like this idea, make the backstory into a story itself.

    That way you will not be doing so much filling-in.

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    Nicely done! Excellent ending!

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    Good action and excellent imagery. Nice job. One little thing:

    "It was almost upon Macralor when its skin was pierced again by an arrow, this one cutting into its right front leg. The secaral screamed again, and as Macralor and one of his guards emerged from the trees and approached, it quickly turned to flee."

    Where, exactly, is Macralor when this is taking place? You may want to clear this up.

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    A good chapter, I do like it when the story reveals som drops of information here and there. It is a good way of telling a story when you feel like you are learning alongside the characters.

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    It is a good story so far, could do with some proofreading though.

    The woman, with one green eye, glared at Alan as she said, "These people don't know what they're talking about. They've never seen anyone leave this place once they enter... Stop staring at me." She said as she turned her missing part away.

    Here you are saying she said before and after the sentence.

    Grammarly or Hemmingway editor are good tools to help with grammar etc. for a final check.

    waiting patiently for the next chapter Smile

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    I'm honored that you would consider my comments on your writing. I feel like a kid with color crayons who is asked to comment from an artist. To me writing is art. It should be easy to read. Like oil flowing from a carafe. The mechanics of it are important, grammar, spelling, punctuation. It like the framework, but the story has to move a soul. Sorrow, love, joy, loss. Can the story make you dream, cry, rage ?. It's like the difference between the heart and the mind. I tell stories from my life, but what you wrote came from your imagination. I want to make sure right now that I'm impressed with your work. I enjoyed reading the story. It flows easily along. I was going to suggest more description if the emotion of the character "Denni" but as I read on I found it sufficient. Her mother is dead, and now her father is going the same way. I also want to state that I have no standing to critique your work. There are as many different styles as there are writers. Iv,e read a lot of books, and some of what people call classics don,t flow along as well as yours does. I wonder as I read your work if you have an education in this area. there were a few things in the writing that made me wonder. There is the sentence "We would like to request you to work for us as a private investigator. Maybe consider, We would like to request your services as a private investigator. Another point confused me. Buskan was elected in 7298, served 15 years, and left in 7315 ? Wouldn't that make 17 years ? One other place I wondered about was the sentence "This was the man she had met" or This is the man whom she had met. I could be off, and I apologize if I am. I would like to close with an expression of my gratitude for the time you took to look over my writing. I intend to make the corrections and resubmit it.

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    A short but good read. I imagine he is lying on the sofa in the psychiatrist's office giving his rant.

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    Destructo/10

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    I know it's only a short story, but I'd quite like to read more about these characters and see where they go from here.

    Couple of mistakes, but nothing major: 'sapphire coloured met ink black ones.' I'm guessing 'eyes' is missing? When Haru first calls to Lokie, you just need a new paragraph for the new speaker.

    The rest is well written though, I liked it.

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    Great imagery in this, brought about by some really good word choices. Well done.

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    Ah I forgot about them still feeling pain, my bad. Like I said, looking forward to the rest of it.

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    Thanks for the help, I will adjust it as soon as I get home tonight. As for the reason Calvin doesn't want to get shot is actually two reasons. The first is, that as he explains, they still feel the pain from the wound, they simply got used to it over the years, however he wouldn't want to add anymore pain if he can avoid it. The second reason is diplomacy. He wants to calm Alan down in hopes of preventing him from panicking and when he fires, and Calvin does not go down, Alan would likely run outside and be killed. It's all about diplomacy. As for the seeming contradiction in dead or not dead, think more along the lines of "undead". They are basically zombies, or perhaps ghouls. If there's anymore questions let me know. Right now this is the very early stages of the story where the aim is to introduce the situation and generate questions for the reader that will be answered later.

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    You do write well, I think the main problem is the structure. There are a lot of info dumps where we are just given a lot of information all at once. It's good that you've gone to the effort of giving your world, and its characters, a rich backstory. Clearly you've given this a lot of thought, but it's loaded onto the reader all at once. Some people do like info dumps, but I'm not a fan myself.

    This might be achieved better with a 'fish out of water' character who doesn't know the history, or the characters, but can learn all of this bit by bit along with us, by interacting with characters who already know, and can explain it to them as their relationships grow.

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    Again, it could do with a proofread, especially the last sentence of the second paragraph. Also, I have to ask, if Calvin is already dead, or at least can't be killed, why is he worried about Alan shooting him? Then, Calvin says he's dead, but later says the house makes it so you can never really die? You might need to clarify that a little.

    '...without ever having to had dealt with any of this." Try 'without having to deal with any of this.'

    The story is progressing pretty well though, and I'm interested in the explanation as to what's going on with this place. Looking forward to reading more.

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    At the beginning you say that he needed to show up at work in order to get paid on Friday, but in the next paragraph you say that he would get paid anyway even if he didn't show up.

    I'll just list out the inadvertent mistakes in the story if it is helpful. It is useful to use a good word processor to avoid these mistakes.

    He worked in a garage repairing cars and trucks, and he had made the people he worked with closer to him then his own family.

    He worked in a garage repairing cars and trucks, and he had made the people he worked with closer to him than his own family.

    He loved to be with his co workers, and the many others who stopped by to drink.

    He loved to be with his co-workers, and the many others who stopped by to drink.

    His wife was aware of this as she watched him walk out the door, and get in to his truck.

    His wife was aware of this as she watched him walk out the door and get into his truck.

    [Also it's better not to use a comma here.]

    Ryan couldn’t count the number of times he forsaken his family to go drink with his friends.

    Ryan couldn’t count the number of times he had forsaken his family to go drink with his friends.

    It had taken a few years for him to get to this point, but all those things he had once loved were now replaced by his insatiable thirst for alcohol, and the company of others.

    It had taken a few years for him to get to this point, but all those things he had once loved were now replaced by his insatiable thirst for alcohol and the company of others.

    [Unnecessary comma.]

    By now the alcohol was clouding Ryan’s judgment to the point that any hope of his wife’s seeing him walk through the front door sober was quickly fading.

    Not so sure about this because I am not a native English speaker, but I think it should just be "hope of his wife seeing him".

    On the phone Ryan was sincere; he assured his wife that he was leaving right away, but once he hung up and turned around somebody would engage him in conversation, and he soon he forgot about what he had told Lonnie.

    On the phone Ryan was sincere; he assured his wife that he was leaving right away, but once he hung up and turned around somebody would engage him in conversation, and he would soon forget about what he had told Lonnie.

    After his wife’s third or fourth attempt to get Ryan to come home she stopped calling, and he was to drunk to even think about it anymore.

    After his wife’s third or fourth attempt to get Ryan to come home she stopped calling, and he was to drunk too even think about it anymore.

    He was curtain that she would save him a plate of food, and welcome him to the dinner table

    He was certain that she would save him a plate of food and welcome him to the dinner table.

    [Unnecessary comma.]

    Ryan entered through the back door as he always had.

    Ryan entered through the back door as he always did.

    Up a short set of stares was the kitchen.

    Did you mean "up a short set of stairs"?

    He didn’t try to take off his boots because he was to drunk

    He didn’t try to take off his boots because he was too drunk

    As she looked up to acknowledge his presents Ryan could see the heartache and sadness in her face.

    As she looked up to acknowledge his presence Ryan could see the heartache and sadness in her face.

    As he stepped forward to make his appeal the alcohol mustered up its own assault, and rushed over him like title wave.

    As he stepped forward to make his appeal the alcohol mustered up its own assault, and rushed over him like tidal wave.

    Ryan passed out on his way to the floor as his lunch box slid across the kitchen hitting the stove, and his face smacked the linoleum.

    Ryan passed out on his way to the floor as his lunch box slid across the kitchen hitting the stove and his face smacked the linoleum.

    [Extra comma.]

    She must have went to her mother’s house he thought, and taken the children with her.

    She must have gone to her mother’s house, he thought, and taken the children with her.

    The thought of drowning the hatred he had for himself in alcohol was an impossibility.

    The occurrence of the thought was impossible, hence it would be better to write

    "Drowning the hatred he had for himself in alcohol now was out of the question."

    Later she would tell Ryan that it was at that point she decided that she could no longer stay married to him anymore, and filed for a divorce.

    Later she would tell Ryan that it was at that point she decided that she could no longer stay married to him and file for a divorce.

    The family soon migrated to the dining room each carrying a dish of food

    The family soon migrated to the dining room, each member carrying a dish of food

    He was glad that she had gone to the trouble to capture those memories on film, and placed them on the wall.

    He was glad that she had taken the trouble to capture those memories on film and placed them on the wall.

    [Extra comma.]

    While Lonnie was away in the kitchen Ryan’s daughter leaned over to ask him if wanted to get going soon. Only if you need to Ryan said.

    While Lonnie was away in the kitchen Ryan’s daughter leaned over to ask him if he wanted to get going soon. Only if you need me to, Ryan said.

    Ryan told his daughter that this is one of those rare occasions when everyone was together, and having a nice time, and how they should hold on to it as long as they can.

    Ryan told his daughter that this was one of those rare occasions when everyone was together and having a nice time, and how they should hold on to it as long as they can.

    [Extra comma.]

    Always use a word processor while writing. Otherwise this was a very nice story with a good moral.

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    A good beginning. It has a good flow and it will be interesting to see where it goes.

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    Thank you for the response, kt. I was doing my best there to convey that while the sign was very old and clearly rotted, someone had been continuously doing their best to keep it up instead of simply making a new sign. I do like your way of putting it better though. It's shorter and more straight to the point than mine. I often have trouble explaining things like this in more succinct ways. I often rewrite a paragraph over and over but always feel like I didn't describe it right which will lead to confusion later in the story.

    Thanks, IndecentAccident. I will have the 3rd chapter up shortly. I'm just going through it now doing my best to proof read, but despite all my efforts I often miss things anyway, hence why I am here hoping to get help lol.

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    Really enjoying this story, your descriptions are really good and a nice little cliffhanger at the end of the chapter. Well done.

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    'Title wave' should be 'tidal wave'. You could do with a proofread, there are a few spelling mistakes and missing words here and there. A good read though, I enjoyed it.

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    Kt summed up the mistakes well, so I won't add more there. You've got an interesting character here, it'll be good to see where you take this.

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    "Alan stopped the vehicle to take a closer look at the sign. It appeared to have been made by hand, from scratch. The sign was actually well maintained, however, it appeared very old. The wood it was made from was clearly rotted, though metal bracings had been made to hold the posts together. The paint had also been redone many times. Alan wondered why anyone would attempt to maintain such a sign rather than simply constructing a new one. "
    This is a really rough paragraph. It seems is if you are trying to give a nice description of the sign, and you go overboard. A well-maintained sign does not consist of rotted wood. The use of however is completely unnecessary. What you have is way too many words describing an old sign.

    Try something like this:
    "Alan studied the old, possibly hand-made sign. The wood was rotted, and metal bracings held the posts together. It had been repainted many times. Alan wondered why the owner just didn't go ahead and replace it."

    How's that?

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    Very nicely done. A few things.
    "Up a short set of stares was the kitchen." This should be stairs, not stares. You have a few sentences like this in there.

    "raised and on their own." I would use the word grown in place of raised.
    It's a good idea to keep a thesaurus open when you write.

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    Okay, you have some poor sentence structure in here. For example: "She had been up there for seven weeks. Being fed daily doses of sedatives in fast food."
    The second sentence is incomplete. Try using this: "The janitor had fed her sedatives, on a daily basis, mixed in with the fast food."

    Get the idea?
    You may also want to go into mathematics and take a look at pattern theory. Yes, there is such a thing. It will help fill out the plot.

    A good story. I want to see where it goes.

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    Looking for feedback on what this looks like. I rewrote this 3 times trying to make it sound right. Is there a way by chance to separate chapters? I have 6 more chapters I need help with as well.

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    I'm not very good at writing in English, but I see that you have used both present and past tense in the story, often together in the same sentence. For example, "Either way, I want to go for a bike ride, and was tired of waiting." Would it be better to say "Either way, I wanted to go for a bike ride, and was tired of waiting"? I have so far only encountered stories written entirely in past tense. Similarly you returned to present tense here: "With a slight push of the pedal I begin the long, steep decent down a path that is so jagged, and rocky that it causes my bike to jolt, and jump violently." Also, isn't "descent" the right spelling? Well, I'm not so sure myself.

    There are a few inadvertent mistakes here and there, like "When the sky's turn gray," and "throwing on some dry cloths," but regardless of these, this was a very pleasant piece to read.

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    Nicely written. A wonderful memory.

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    Better to be happy and poor, then rich and sad.

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    Sad and lovely. The loss of a cherished companion. How sad.

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    Excellent imagery in this. A small errors, like "cloths" should be "clothes," but, other than that, very well done.

    kt6550 commented on Love

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    Lovely.

    Cool However, next time I think you should use a larger font.

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    Very nicely presented. Good job.

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    An excellent prologue! Nicely done.

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    "well light room." Try "well-lit room."

    Nicely done. A few rough passages. Let them soak for a few days and then change them.

    In the end, all we have is our history and our memories. Cherish the good ones.

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    I like it!

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    Wow. I'm exhausted just reading it. Not really. It was an excellent display of many many enjoyable scenes. I could see it and feel it and smell it. Thanks for the gift.

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    Wow. What an intro. It serves its purpose. We now clearly know what to expect in the coming stories.
    If it's useful, I offer these comments. But if it is discouraging, just ignore them.
    Since you are the author, what you write is what it is. So it weakens the story when you qualify things. It's just 'appropriate' not 'largely appropriate'. It's 'transpired events' not 'seemingly transpired events'. etc.
    The things you write are weakened by duplication. Saying it twice either wears it out or conveys uncertainty. So 'transpired events written in this account' would be better as 'this account of events'. 'transpired' is an unneeded echo of 'events' 'witten' is an unneeded echo of 'account'. etc.
    Your intro offers two gifts to the reader. There is the imagined world itself. 'Sweep you off your feet' with 'tall tales and faery ale' The other is 'an account of the countless hours of fun that I enjoyed'. I suspect descriptions of you and your players and their experiences while playing will be of equal or greater interest to the readers. Just my opinion.

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    Nice, concise, pleasant capture of a loving family moment. Something we all can enjoy in simple everyday terms.
    Not that you need to, but if you want to polish it you could check for misspellings. Sometimes they doom your efforts.
    And concise as it is, it might be even more effective if you trimmed out some of the unneeded words. I could be wrong. It's hard to strike a balance that avoids 'padded' on one side and 'stark' on the other.

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    Sad that the huggers are wise enough to stay home, trapped as we feel, and all lose from their absence. And worse, the loud and callous take the field blundering, blustering and blasting virally.

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    Interesting!

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    Sounds like you had a good day!

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    Very true!

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    Let me start with the good news: Excellent story!

    The bad news: On the first line, you spelled want and used it as went. Also, I think some commas are missing. Fix that, and it'll be better!

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    As she sang, 'you pave paradise to put up parking lot'. Thanks for the well expressed memories. A couple of accidentally wrong words and jumbled phrases. Easily fixed. Probably would want to make some paragraphs? But very nice work.

    A feed of the latest discussions on The Den.

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    Forum: Reviewer's Ramble

    Last post on thread was by Dnavarre:

    Finished "Misery" by Stephen King. I've only read 8 of his books but "Misery" is by far my instant favorite. It's painfully real, and not just for the plot, which is devoid of the supernatural but features the horrors of humanity.

    What really makes the book shine in my eyes is how personal it is to King. King's drug addiction, his stardom, and his place as a lifetime author are all made themes in the plot of a writer-turned-captive by his number one fan, a not so subtle reference to his fanbase's reaction after he published a fantasy novel. But even while King exposes his own fears and flaws he winks and smiles as he plays between the lines and challenges himself to enjoy his livelihood.

    Behind the terrifyingly hopeless plot and the intimately vulnerable themes King still twists phrases, includes double-meanings he refuses to dwell on for no particular reason other than they were fun to make. There is a book-within-a-book and while, yes, there are parallels between characters and revelations that, wait, /maybe/ you've been missing the true meaning of what this is all about, King is still playful: in one memorable sequence his author protagonist describes the use of his novel's form to the the antagonist, while right after King exhibits the same use. Throughout the novel, King talks.

    And of course "Misery" contains one of the greatest tricks of all: King tells a thrilling story--and it is thrilling. One arc was so stressful I had to turn the book away and rest my head on its spine, like peeking between my fingers at a horror film that's too gruesome to continue watching, knowing I was cheating because our protagonist had no such relief--a thrilling 300+ page story with the aide of only two characters, the protagonist and the antagonist.

    It is nothing short of amazing how this is accomplished. Two characters, and our narrator is an invalid to boot, confined at first to his bed and then to a wheelchair but still locked in a single room with a single view. But no matter the amount of exposition or backstory or repetitive monologuing as our hero's psyche is broken down, "Misery" never gets boring or slow, the emotions and stress and fear of what will happen on the next page never let up, never relax, from the first page to the very last. Despite everything one might say about him, here King solidifies his mastery of horror writing.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Honestly.. I've seen stupid UX decisions before but this takes the cake.

    i.imgur.com/N0ShjxP.png

    Today I learned that that very ambiguous delete button beside a post DOES NOT delete the post.. IT DELETES THE USER.

    *slow clap* --- good job PHP-Fusion devs..

    Honestly I cannot finish Version 5 fast enough.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Hey folks,

    With v5 I am modernizing The Den to bring it up to snuff with the types of sites you use daily nowadays. I have thought of a number features to bring in, and I am wondering...

    If you could have anything you wanted in the next version of The Den, what would it be?

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by bbcool36:

    Hoping to meet another short story writer. I am pretty new to story writing, looking for someone who could critique stories for me and I could do the same in exchange. The story I have finished is about 8000 words, so it's a little longer. I have another in progress. Just let me know in the thread!!!

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    Forum: Help and Support

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    I have applied a change to fix the file permissions. Avatars can be uploaded again.

    I am also closing and locking this thread as it is ancient. Please open new threads if there is nothing withing the last 90 days about an issue, as it is likely far from relevant anymore. The previous instances have nothing to do with each other, nor does this one.

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    Forum: Help and Support

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Luzzzifer wrote:

    @Luzzzifer - Hello!

    Maybe this is a stupid question, but...
    Can I add "chapters" in my stories? Like having different pages for them.
    If so, how do I do that?

    Thank you! Smile


    Hi @luzzifer - Chapters will be a feature coming back in Version 5, which I am still working on perfecting. I was in version 4 but the implementation was very bad.

    What I recommend you do is create a separate story post for each chapter and the same title. This way when someone looks at your profile they'll be able to see the chapters in order thanks to alphanumeric sorting.

    Example:

    This is My Great Story - Chapter 1

    If you have a chapter title you can add it to the description in bold italics or to the top of the chapter body.

    When the new version comes out, you'll be able to 'bind' these individual chapters into a novel, poetry book or other book type.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by PseudoScribe:

    so don I might not have explained it right but i think i may need ghost artists if such a thing exists. I want to write the story and have illustrations made to compliment it

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    Forum: Help and Support

    Last post on thread was by XxDARKGHOSTZX9:

    Sir i had an extremely awful day at that time. My spouse was in the hospital, and my family member passed away and my twin brother passed on all in the same month. I am truly sorry for the way that i acted . I am normally not prone to such reactions. The fault was mine and i responded in anger due to my own circumstances.. I apologize sincerely and will use this site as a means to portray future literary work. As it stands, before i noticed your reply i had already updated one work on my profile earlier today. Please forgive and if there is any format or situation. That i can help with i would be more then happy too.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    With the recent post flood that the site saw, I was made aware of some incorrect expectations of what specific pages are intended to be used for, and reminded of some of the issues on this version of the site.

    Firstly, the intended place to see the latest posts is the 'Latest Activity Feed', now featured with the link 'Latest Activity' in the main menu to clarify it's use. This view shows the latest 50 posts or more, and will concatenate multiple posts by one user to a single entry. This is the best and only place you should be using to 'catch up' from your last visit.

    The 'Newest' page in the Writings Archive (now renamed to Library) has been renamed to 'Newest to Oldest'. This page is a chronological archive view for searching through all posts by date, and it is not intended for users to use to catch up on posts. As such, post concatenation will never be used here. Not to mention that post concatenation is largely incompatible with pagination, and to try and do both cleanly and without error would make for a very slow page.

    Now, on the topic of the post flood, which has been discussed before here. The new version of the site will introduce the Karma system, which will be a point based system that will give users points for commenting, posting forum posts and rating writings, and deduct points for posting writings. New users will start with enough points for 2 posts, and old users will earn a score based on their history. This is intended to solve the biggest issue The Den faces in the 'social' era of the Internet, where users have become rather anti-social and post content expecting comments without participating on the site by doing so themselves. To be clear though, if a user has enough posts to post 30 writings at once, the Karma system will not prevent this, and never will. This will be handled via post concatenation in the feeds, which will prevent other users posts from being pushed off the feeds by mass posting. The Library pages however will never concatenate posts.

    Version 5 will also introduce the concept of 'following' a writer. So if you want to ensure you never miss posts by your favourite writers, you will be able to follow them and you will have a dedicated 'following' feed to just these users posts and activity.

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    Forum: Announcements

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Update:

    I stand corrected, gender was part of v4 and not v3, and v3 did allow me to remove birthdate. So that field and all it's data have been removed from user profiles and the database.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Loothier:

    About ten, maybe even fifteen years ago, when the Internet was still young, I chanced upon an amateur author's website. I spent many nights reading his stories about the ever-diminishing possibilities of science caused by more-dimensional beings squeezed into our world, and the immortal lady (created accidentally in some scientific experiment) struggling to keep the human race alive through the eons, storing knowledge in the roughest form possible as the universe kept loosing detail. Another story was about superheroes that got exponentially more powerful, and more deranged, each time a new one was turned, and the previous people who tried to stop the next ones. Around the tragic time I lost the bookmark, he was writing about magic (which worked like programming with math inside the mind) used to engineer some parts in a space shuttle that exploded. His website had yellow text on a dark gray blue background, if I remember correctly. He did occasional rant posts on science and programming subjects too.

    I would very much like to read those stories again. Does someone on this forum know the author or his website? Or a better place to ask?

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by chancematthews01:

    I am a new amateur writer. I have book one already posted. I would really like help with editing. Do a Search for "Chi Warrior Saga - Book 1"

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Phillip Cain:

    Hello all. Subject is pretty straight forward. I have been considering a switch in majors at my local community college into creative writing or something close to it (not even fully aware of my options yet to be honest), but I would like to know how it happened for you. Was it an epiphany moment, something you fell into, or something that was always present in you.

    edit: it really labels me an ink virgin lol, what a knee slapper

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

    Now that's a proper critique and hard, fair and good advice.

    The one draw back for me about E-books, Kindle & such is that 'anyone' can publish. For example there's a guy who puts out fabulous, professional covers and calls himself Stephen King. The type face is even similar, very much similar, in-fact. But he is not the Stephen King. a fact that is painfully evident once you start suffering......I mean reading.

    There are also some excellent stories and ideas but the writing is not to the standard you would expect.

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    Forum: Help and Support

    Last post on thread was by Kore-rupt Kay-os:

    How do I post my writing?

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    Forum: Help and Support

    Last post on thread was by Nurwanti:

    I also have the same question, thanks for asking

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    Forum: Bug Reports and Site Issues

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    This should not be an issue anymore.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    This short post has some quick and easy ways to improve your writing.

    https://medium.com/an-idea-for-you/the-two-minutes-it-takes-to-read-this-will-improve-your-writing-forever-82a7d01441d1#.vr45txmxo

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    Forum: Off Topics

    Last post on thread was by SirSludge:

    It's been years and now it's back
    we got the counting in the sack

    Now in this fort
    there is a court
    but you do not sue
    because it's 22!
    .
    .
    .
    No, that's not right!
    The numbers aren't tight
    I don't want to be a bore,
    but I tell you, it's 54!

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by lichtyd:

    I've been writing for several months. Started with fan fiction and have started my own, not very original, story. I'll try to be an active member here, but my writing takes most of my free time. My first story, The Farmer's Daughter, is rather simple and derivative. Heck the title is a cliche. Writing with a familiar plot allows me to focus on grammar, style, dialog and narrative. I like my characters and enjoy putting them into scenes and recording how they react.

    lichtyd

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by enchantedpickles:

    Is there a certain why to do this or does it matter how your writing style is?

    I want to write dialog of someone talking on the phone but my narator can only hear the person she is with and not the person on the phone.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by pappz24:

    I am new to writing.I like to pen the stories that come up in my mind but i always find difficult to get the right words.
    Could someone please help me with the basics of writing.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by trubolotta:

    Just a few suggestions from someone who has done a lot of technical writing but now wants to do SciFi writing.

    1. 1. Set up a crib sheet of people (or entities), places and things with descriptions to help you be consistent throughout the story. You don't have to reveal all detail at one time, but being consistent over a period of time helps readers.
    2. 2. I write a plot outline and sometimes three, four or five. Some interconnect, some do not. Some I dump and some I polish. It doesn't take long and can be very generalized using your own brand of shorthand.
    3. 3. Work your chapters. I'll rewrite, chop and mince a chapter as much as necessary until it reads and fits the way I want it to read and fit. I've even scrapped entire chapters, salvaging only a few good parts and dropping the rest.
    4. 4. Ideas sheet - its a document I always keep to paste in ideas I think were good but just in the wrong place in the story.
    5. 5. Finally, don't take my word for it. I'm brand new at fiction writing and I'm sure more experienced writers can give you good advice.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    I will hopefully have this implemented before too long along with a new version of the site. It's currently a work in progress, about halfway done.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by flickeringfairy:

    There have been some in the past and some that dabble in a little bit of everything.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Demonic:

    I'd love to check it out. I'm kind of in the same boat as you, writing a story but don't have all of it worked out yet. I'll have to check out chapter one. Smile

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Kholm:

    I read once that military folk are somewhere around 90% more likely to smoke then non military. Now don't mistake that for 90% of military people smoke, but there are a lot who do.

    Sometimes there is more to smoking than just the physical effects or the buzz it gives you. As military, I can tell you that the social aspect of smoking (at least in military settings) is something that is very important. Its quite a tradeoff, your health for an abundance of rumours and information. The smoke deck is one of the most useful places to obtain information between divisions and get group collaberations.

    Non smokers actually look to the smokers to see if they can "get any information on the smokedeck." While much of it is rumor, the senior smokers are pretty good at weeding out nonsense.

    Now, enough of the specific social aspect that makes it seem acceptable to me.

    Smoking is bad. Bad bad bad bad. There are tons of cancer causing bits, killing you slowly bits, and bits of well smoke. That crap doesnt need to be in your lungs one bit. But hey, its enjoyable to some extent. It does give you a little buzz, and it does fire off little feel goods in your brain. I am no scientest or doctor so I wont pretend to know what does what or why it is addictive.

    It can be a money dump, health dump and give you chronically bad breath.

    But for every evil, you just have to know how to properly keep yourself. If you smoke, maybe you should make sure to jog every day, brush your teeth twice as long, and eat a bit healthier. I know I do to try and offset the habit. plus I have to be in tip top shape for most of what I do.

    Smoking all comes down to where you are, who you are and how you choose to do it. Hell, it might be a cop-out as some people say when life gets a bit too stressful, but here I am in japan, right after a huge mess. I'm alive, and I've been working 14 hours a day to restore power to several buildings, and helping people in wreckage. Its hard, I'm stressed, and I'll be damned if you tell me I can't have a cig. Wink

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

    Ah, but I'll bet you were only 6 when you invented this word-fuelled Porsche of a site. in many ways, Chris, I liken you to Matthew Broderick in the movie 'War Games'. Y'know, when he hacks the USA's national defence system and gets to ask Stephen Hawking's 'Speak & Spell' for a game of Thermo Nuclear War? No?
    Ah, well, maybe there is too much 80's in this reply, even for you.
    But, seriously, Chris, a great achievement, my friend: standards high, membership big and not to mention the atmosphere this place generates.
    Here's to 19 more.

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by Dcouch87:

    I'm sure this is a large response, but I'm new here having just joined. I'd have to agree with the comments I've read however. As you write and go back over things you have previously written, you'll reorganize certain things, edit some things out, and change as you go. Don't worry about surviving chapters early on. Write some, then go back and reread it after a little time. You'll find the appropriate pauses to divide into chapters then. I wrote nearly 15,000 words within 3 chapters. Then when I went back a few days later while typing it from my writing, I realized one chapter could actually be two separate ones.

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by Dcouch87:

    So I'm writing a historical fiction that takes place during world war 2. It follows the younger of two brothers throughout the war during his search for his older brother that was shot down over Europe. The younger enlists several months after his older brother, just after pearl harbor. He gets sent to the Pacific where he is wounded, then he volunteers for the rangers after he learns of his brother being a pow. My question is, should I add a love interest in the younger brothers life? I have added a way to do so if I choose to, but not sure how to follow. He has just finished his ranger training and is home on leave before being sent to England.

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    Forum: Announcements

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Stage 1 of this update, deploying SSL has been completed. All pages should show secure in your browsers and Chrome should report that it is using a "modern cipher suite".

    I believe I have found all instances of "mixed insecure content" which usually means an image is being loaded with HTTP instead of HTTPS. I may have missed one or two. Please notify me if you find any by replying to this post.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by msjhord:

    My name is Jennifer and I live in the US. I think I have been in love with words since I was a tot, which is probably why I learned to read by age 4. Somewhere around age 8 or 9, my love of writing was awakened and, thanks to writing-happy public schoolteachers, I got plenty of practice in from then on. Fast forward to adulthood -- marriage, parenthood, child with special needs, family crises, family illness, semi-cross country move, blah blah blah. I haven't gotten as much writing practice going on as I used to. I had a brief spate of it a few years ago, but just wasn't in a good place to receive proper criticism, so I put it on hold. Got into other forms of art like painting, jewelry making, fleshing out my cooking skills. Those are going pretty well, but I still have this story in me that I am dying to tell. And maybe it's cliche, maybe it's not. But I want to tell it and tell it RIGHT! I could use some help. So . . . if you could, lemme know if I'm in the right place (I mean, this isn't a forum dedicated to ONLY one genre, right?) and we'll go forth with what's bouncing around in my head. I warn you in advance, though. I'm a little odd, and a little stubborn haha! thanks for the time!!

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

    Mr Cushions, please receive my cyber hug along with a massive apology for such a delayed reply.
    I myself am fine and hoping that you and yours are in a similar fettle.
    Time is a meagre mistress at the moment and, would you believe, I have written nothing (accept cheques) since this post; lots of family stuff going on . My mam, though not ill, isn't in the best of conditions physically and requires a lot more help than just twelve months ago. Stick that in the pot with a new management regime at work, allow to simmer for twelve months and out comes the best time/stress sandwich you could ever hope to feast upon. At last count the number of unpaid, extra, hours I have bagged at my place of employ totals three weeks. Blimey, with 21 days of uninterrupted writing I could have finished 'the herrings' and cornered the weird/slightly uncomfortable comedy market.
    But enough that, onward and upwards as pompous, upper class knobs like to say.
    Many thanks for your response to my "Sir Terry" post. I really was gutted at his passing. But since we have our very own 'Savage Pratchet' here on the den, his style (unwittingly echoed by your talented self) shall live on.
    As for the election, you were right, Mr Cushions. the herrings were secreting a few creative juices. However, I have been unable to absorb and act upon them because of said time constraints. having said that David Macaroon has enjoyed a few scribbled notes upon the back of work memos and wage slips. Though I call him David Car Moron, since he obviously a cap driver since we never see him........driving.
    Blimey, this is the longest time I've spent on the den all year.
    Merry Christmas, savage. I hope you and yours have an excellent one and enjoy a fantastic new year.

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by only71stitches:

    I'm very new to writing and I didn't do so well in English and Grammar back in my school days... LOL

    I have a question that I have not found an actual answer for... Everyone seems to have a different opinion on this...

    My character's inner thoughts... I write them initialized... I get that... But when it's a question, what the right format?

    Example:

    How am I alive? he wonders.
    How am I alive? He Wonders.
    How am I alive, he wonders?

    What's the right way to type that?

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by hobie roberts:

    hey so i got an idea for a short story series and i kinda need help with like cover designs and stuff. my idea is for it to be a zombie book, but like through the zombies eyes, ive been thinking about it for a while and finally got some ideas for the actual plot of it, if any one would like to help with it ill give you my Skype, mostly i really need some one who can draw zombies pretty good for a cover of it, ill be printing it at my sisters work and making like short story's, plus my local book store said if they like it they can start to maby promote it there, ill also have it online to.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Found this on Google+ today. Its worth reading and putting into practice.

    lh6.googleusercontent.com/-yJbinKsvtBY/VeloUk4lsDI/AAAAAAAAmCQ/S1t3xbMOp_k/w636-h641-no/dhw-provost.png

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by mcglone:

    Because I started off here and have deep respect for this website, I am writing this here.

    I have finished my book (finally) but I need an outside view to check if everything is up to scratch. This only just dawned on me when I set my book up on Amazon as a pre-order title.

    So, if anyone is willing to help I'd be greatful and I will even give you a complimentary copy of the the final book!

    I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here.

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by mcglone:

    Because I started off here and have deep respect for this website, I am writing this here.

    I have finished my book (finally) but I need an outside view to check if everything is up to scratch. This only just dawned on me when I set my book up on Amazon as a pre-order title.

    So, if anyone is willing to help I'd be greatful and I will even give you a complimentary copy of the the final book!

    I hope you guys don't mind me posting this here.

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    Heads up for those of you publishing to Amazon. Amazon is looking to change their pay model so you only get paid for pages read.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology...-read.html

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by LawMatheson:

    (DOSCO Spoiler Warning) I have been doing my research, it doesn't seem like there is much venue for GOOD gay literature (other than whiny 'coming out' stories from New York Times Best Sellers, where that is the ONLY focus of the novel), so I have been talking to some friends (other gay writers) from Brazil and Spain, both friends of mine. Together, we are thinking of banding together, gathering our friends/family/followers into one web site, offering things the other gay publishing house websites don't offer (I drew up a 30 page business proposal yesterday, so I have the research), market in three languages, sell in three countries (and help one another out shipping the others books when it is cheaper for them), and use the website as a platform to blast our books. We could then branch out to other gay writers from around the world, and publish for them if they are in a 'closed' country and they can't.

    Does anyone have any advice on this? This is a large dream of mine, one I am just discovering, but one that is coming together. Advice and criticism is always helpful (just know that 'impossible' is my fuel).

    I'm a dreamer; Even if I die with unfulfilled dreams, I will know I have done everything I could to chase after them; Rather than live 'comfortably' suppressing those aspirations.

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by Vollkrasser:

    Hi,

    I made a script/plot for new cases in the traditional style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle"™s stories of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. That script is the basis for a non-commercial online adventure game version.

    The first previews of the game are"¦

    ...here in video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGY4thv8wG0

    ...here pics with the final lightning, scroll down in the forum, the last post on page 1 forum

    ...here is the first scene playable online (graphics there are just placeholdeers and will be replaced):
    http://textadventures.co.uk/games/vie...n-of-sheba

    The game ought to be in British English, best would be the old Victorian style of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. I"™m not a native English speaker, and it would be a sacrilege to have even the slightest foreign accent for this. That would be German in my case, which is reserved for the villains already ;-)

    So I"™m looking for a writer, who would like to take part in this project for free as I also do.
    The workflow would be that he/she starts from my bad English script and writes a nice round story out of it that can then be the novel part of the adventure. Think of it as a bit like Dr. Watson did with the bare facts of Holmes: he made entertaining and exciting stories out of it. It would be similar with our cooperation for the adventure.

    Best would be if the writer speaks a bit german, but it"™s not a must.
    The final game will be free and online playable by everybody even without registration on the above platform.

    The game is afoot!

    If youre interested, just contact me via e-mail, which is described in 2 parts (to avoid-auto spam crawlers):
    the first part is
    reinarassa
    the second part is
    @googlemail.com
    combine the two and you have the valid e-mail.

    Best regards from germany/Bavaria!

    Vollkrasser

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    Forum: The Editor's Desk

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    This latest question should be posted into a new topic. Please use one thread per topic. Multiple topics in one thread is too difficult for people to follow and destroys a thread.

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    Forum: Bug Reports and Site Issues

    Last post on thread was by Routh:

    NovaCops writing has been fixed.

    Thats all the reported work for now, please report any others.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by EvilUncleEarnie:

    Thanks again for the suggestions... I have written poems and short stories, but something this involved is a challenge. Thanks again...

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by LawMatheson:

    Quote

    Vermithrax wrote:

    The Chronicles are 144,000 words long, and took me the better part of fifteen years to get right.

    I can't seem to write anything of less than 5000 words, and they tend to get away from me.

    Don't know why this is; I think I just get caught up in the story.

    At the moment, a chapter will take me about two -three days, with re-reads, and re-writes.




    I get what you mean when you say you get caught up in a story, for me, it's almost like 'The DOSCO Files' are writing themselves. I have One chapter posted here, but I have three books worth of material. I am just going back and smoothing things out. I am struggling with word count and pages in a chapter, so this post was helpful.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by pirate60:

    lol.

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    Forum: Storyteller's Fire

    Last post on thread was by blue_veined_hatred:

    I was busy doing the usual, laying back inside my cruiser and helping myself to more doughnuts every now and then, with an eye on the street. For most of the cops back at the station passing the night in a cruiser is something they would skip as often as they can manage. I was not most of the cops. Most of the cops do not have a marriage on the verge of dissolving into the most sour taste.
    Rankton was as quite at that hour of the night. Quite enough for the rapidly approaching engine noise of a car revving up the road. I tossed back the half eaten doughnut into it's box and fumbled up to a feasible position.
    I hardly recognized the brand of the car which fleetingly shot past the street but I clearly recognized the situation: a speeding case deep at night. This mght range from some adventure hungry delinquent to some high profile hit and run. Just at that moment, my radio cackled out:
    "All units in the vicinity. A possible hit and run suspect has been seen going East found down Rosewood Boulevard. Suspect is driving a black Classic Ford Mustang. Requesting reports on visual."
    "This is Z3005.I have a visual of a possible suspect. On pursuit."
    I turned on the ignition and the on the lights, wailed the siren and zoomed out of the alley. Tonight is going to be a bumpy.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by Rob Kosy:

    It has been pointed out on a few occasions that summer is slow, and it's true.

    I'm not getting a lot of time to visit at the moment either (though I wish it was because I was strolling & having fun outdoors, rather than being hemmed in at work; the holiday season, eh?).

    kt, without disparaging Verm, Kerri & co I would say that you are the den's most consistent & revered critic. A 'good one' from yourself is an all day high. But the den without kt (at least in my time here) is akin to tea without water.

    Looking forward to the resolution of your posting troubles.

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    Forum: General Discussion

    Last post on thread was by tjwell01:

    I agree e-publishing is tricky--I was just pointing out the cool feature about the site. Plus, I'm always on the look out for the new writing community.

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    Forum: Suggestions and Feature Requests

    Last post on thread was by flickeringfairy:

    I was wondering if it would be possible to not only search for type, but order them as well. In other words search "Poems" and then order from newest to oldest.

    Just a thought,
    FlickeringFairy